#but i put a lot of love into it so i hope you like it
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Iâm Sorry (Rafe Cameron)
Description: Rafe didnât tell the Pogues that Y/N (his wife and their ex best friend) (and JJâs ex) would be on this trip to get the crown with them.
Word Count: 2,558
Rafe didnât tell the pogues that his wife, their ex best friend, would be on the boat. JJ and her dated for a while but things didnât work out and she ended up in the arms of Rafe Cameron.
The pogues disowned her after they found out that she was dating him. She was heartbroken and Rafe put her heart back together. She was with him while he stirred the boat. The others outside the door talking about them.
She knew that they didnât trust Rafe and they probably didn't trust her. She didnât blame them but she had hoped that this would make them see that they could trust them, mostly her. âRafe, Y/N.â John B said the coupleâs names.
They both turned to look at the group that was by the door. âHey guys.â Y/N said but her voice was quiet. She hadnât talked to them in so long and to hear her name fall from his lips was crazy. âWe just want peace.â That would have been simple until JJ decided to punch him.
Y/N felt rage through her body at him doing that. Almost like JJ had always wanted to do that, probably has. âREALLY?â Y/N yelled at him. âI donât trust him, none of us do. Not sure if we even trust you.â He said. That had hurt her a lot.
She wasnât the reason their relationship ended, it was him. Rafe fixed her and sure he wasnât the best guy but it was enough for her. âIâm not the one who fucked you over JJ, you fucked over me.â Y/N said.Â
Y/N waited for Rafe to wake up. It was a battle but she convinced them not to tie him up. She had food and pain killers waiting for him. He woke a few hours after the incident and looked around, âHey babe. I brought you some food and painkillers.â Y/N told him.
He was pissed and wanted them off the boat after that but again Y/N had to convince him not too. âHe punched me. Letâs not pretend that this is just about me not being trustworthy.â Rafe said to her as they ate. Y/N raised her eyebrows.
He was probably right. âYeah well that was 3 years ago, Rafe.â She was over it and was even ready to forgive him but JJ didnât feel the same. Maybe JJ was still in love with her after all.Â
The boat started to rock like crazy causing them to get up and see what was going on. It was a disaster waiting to happen. The boat was crashing into the water and flooding. âGuys whatâs going on?â She asked. âThe storm.â Kie said. Y/N managed to make her way to where John B was.
JJ and Sarah are also there. It was bad, so bad to the point that Y/N ended up in the water. âY/N.â JJ yelled and grabbed a raft and threw it in the water. âIâm coming.â He yelled and jumped in the water after her.
Rafe got there just in time to see them get covered by a big wave. He screamed his wifeâs name and Sarah managed to hold him back so they didnât lose more people.Â
Rafe was crying and freaking out. The others had hope that they would turn up but Rafe had lost too much. They all felt bad and guilty that they treated them like that and realized that they arenât bad people. Y/N never was and she might be dead. Sarah couldnât help but cry.
Maybe it was the guilt or the sadness but she was crying so hard. Rafe was thinking about it so much. His wife was most likely dead and JJ jumped in after her. If they were alive he couldnât even be mad about it. What if JJ had saved her life but what if she realized that she still loved him?
Rafe was deep in thought that he didnât realize John B looking out in the distance at two people. âGuys.â Everyone looked over at the two people walking towards them. Rafe jumped up and ran to them. As he got closer he saw his wife and he laughed in relief.
She saw him and ran to him as well until they collapsed on the ground in a hug. Both of them were crying and saying that they love one another. JJ watched as the couple kissed and laughed in relief. He saved her life and though she was thankful, she was not going to leave rafe for him.Â
âI saved her life.â JJ tells the others as they all sit around the fire. âAnd I am thankful for that JJ.â She said to him. He couldnât meet her eyes, why was it that he thought she would love him all over again now? âThanks for saving her.â Rafe said to him.
Everyone was shocked by that but also it made sense. Y/N was his wife after all. Rafe wanted to be mad and yell at him but he couldnât. She might not be alive if it wasnât for him. But the thought of JJ and her together sickened him. Rafe wasnât an idiot and saw right through JJ.
He knew that JJ was hoping for her to love him again and thatâs what scared him. What broke him out of his thoughts was her yawning in his arms. âWell, Iâm tired. Goodnight guys.â She said. Rafe followed her to where she was sleeping and laid down next to her. He pulled her body right up against his and he felt her snuggle up against him.  Â
Hearing that Sarah was pregnant actually made Y/N happy. She knew that John B and Sarah would be good parents and she was very excited for them. Rafe and her wanted kids but Rafe was scared. He never wanted to treat his kids the way he was treated.
Sure he loved his dad but it wasnât a hidden fact that he wasnât the greatest dad. But Rafe had no reaction to hearing that Sarah was pregnant. Y/N wanted to ask him about it but they really had no time. When Rafe almost got arrested for something the others did, it slipped her mind.
And Rafe had a lot of questions for her when they were walking around. âDid he try anything after saving you?â He asked after buying them clothes. âNo. We barely talked.â Which was true. She thanked him and even hugged him but besides that they didnât talk. âDid he tell you that he was still in love with you?â She looked at him like he had three heads. She shook her head, âNo because he isnât.â Rafe wanted to argue that factor but instead asked another question.
âDo you feel anything for him after that?â âRafe, what?â She asked. âHe saved your life and did something I couldnât.â She rolled her eyes and huffed. Whether he was going to admit it or not she knew that was his worst fear. âRafe, I can assure you I donât love him. I love you.â She tells him.
Before he could respond he notices someone and pulls Y/N with him up against the wall. The people were talking about Groff. They listened and figured that he was close by.Â
Rafe didnât wanna leave her alone so he bought her a four wheeler and told her once he has Groff to speed off with them. She nods and waits for her man as he kicks some ass and gets Groff. Before Groff could say anything to her they drove off. She followed Rafe to wherever it was that he was headed.
She got off the four wheeler and Rafe immediately started to question Groff. Groff didnât even get to say anything to Y/N with how Rafe was questioning him. Groff didnât have the money anymore but he had the map to the treasure. Y/N gasped when they started fighting and Rafe took those things from him.
The Pendant was beautiful. Y/N couldnât wait to wear it but that slipped her mind as Rafe pushed him in the well. âHAHA CHECKMATE BITCH.â Y/N bit her lip, finding that hot but knew it wasnât the right time. He handed her the pendant and she put it on. âIt looks beautiful on you.â He winks at her. She smiled at him and he looked at the map. They had a long way to go.Â
âYou know it was really hot when you pushed Groff into that well.â She said to him. He looked over at her and smirked, âMy wife is a freak.â She laughed at him and shook her head, âAnything you do I find hot, Rafe.â He looked back at the map as they walked.
âYeah well I would love to fuck you right now after hearing that but we gotta get our money first.â She sighed. It was truly unfortunate that they couldnât. âGive me the pendant.â He says and she takes it off and hands it to him.
He tries to read the map with it but gets frustrated. âHere.â She said and took the necklace from him. She used to do this treasure hunting stuff with the pogues all the time. He smiled as he watched her figure it out.Â
Rafe, who had the map in his hand, held up his hands as they were held at gunpoint. Y/N also held up her hands and looked at her husband, nervously. âLet her go she has nothing to do with this.â Rafe tries but they donât care. âDrop the map.â Rafe nods and announces that heâs doing it slowly.
Y/N couldnât look anywhere but her husband, missing her old friends ready to shoot the guys holding them hostage. It was in a flash of a second that Sarah shot at them and Rafe took Y/Nâs hand and they ran. The pogues followed them. Rafe picked Y/N up and ran faster. She told him to wait as she saw the pogues but he didnât listen until they barged through the door. âNext time weâll let you get shot.â Kie tells him but Y/N thanks her. He sets Y/N down but still has the map. âGroff didnât have the money.â She says to the others.
âHand over the map.â Y/N looks at Rafe knowing he wouldnât go down without a fight. âRafe, baby give them it. They know what they are doing.â He looks at her, âYou also know.â While that was true this was their fight now. âDad would want us to work together.â Rafe was about to break. He believed that Sarah killed him. Y/N didnât. âRafe, they are willing to work together.â Y/N tries but he yells at Sarah saying that he couldnât trust her because of Ward. âDad died saving me. I was gonna die.â Y/N felt tears in her own eyes. âYouâre so quick to blame me for everything.â That was true. âYouâre gonna leave me just like everyone else in my life has besides Y/N. Sheâs the only one keeping me going. Youâll ruin that. Heâs trying to ruin that.â Rafe pointed at JJ.
JJ stayed silent as Sarah talked to him, âIâm all you have.â âBaby look at me. Sheâs telling the truth. I know them baby, they arenât bad people. Nothing will ever come between us.â Her heart broke at the sight of him crying. âWeâll still get our cut?â Rafe asked Sarah. âYes.â He goes to hand her the map but she pushes it away and she hugs him. Y/n smiled at the sight and rubbed his back as he tried to hold back tears.Â
âHun, Iâm going down there to stop them.â âNo.â âRafe, they are killers.â Kie said to him. He looks at the two of them. âIâm a killer too.â He says and if he said that at any other point, she would have been so turned on but right now they were on a mission. Kie and Y/N couldnât really see JJ but kept telling him to hurry up. He was trying but he was going to find it no matter what.
Y/N kept looking behind her hoping to see Rafe but she couldnât. She couldnât lose him and this was making her think she would. âJJ we have to go.â Kie yelled at him. He was reaching into the eye of the sand statue and it looked like he pulled something out but she couldnât be so sure.
The sand was everywhere. She heard yelling and cheering from him and smiled to herself. He got the crown. A few minutes later he showed them the crown and they all hugged. It was a nice feeling, one that she missed. They ran down to get the others and Y/Nâs mind was on her husband. She had to make sure he was okay.
She yelled his name as she looked for him but gasped as she saw Groff. She hid so he couldnât see her and he grabbed Kie. Y/N had to cover her mouth. She was hoping that he wouldnât hurt her but of course he was willing to trade her for the crown. They were so close.
Y/N watched as the trade was made and sighed in relief. She was glad her friends were okay. Sure she wanted the money back but their lives were and always will be more important. She turned to go find Rafe but heard Kie gasping. Y/N turned around and her eyes widened, her heart dropped and her soul left her body. Groff had stabbed JJ.
She didnât care anymore and ran over to him as Groff ran off. She thought about chasing him but didnât want to get killed. âJJ.â She cried and he looked at her. For once since they reunited he looked at her and he didnât look mad. Kie and her helped him to the ground.
âYouâre gonna be okay. We will get you out of here.â Kie said. JJ gave them a smile, âItâs okay.â âJJ we can get you help.â Y/N tells him. He looks over at her, âY/N Iâm sorry that I messed up with you and never gave you what you deserved.â âJJ I donât care about that stuff.â He could barely get out words but he had to tell her, âKie I never told you my wish.â Kie was crying.
âJJ itâs okayâŠâ âI have everything I could ever wish for right now.â He holds both of their hands. âMy best friend.â He looks at Kie. âAnd the woman Iâll always love.â He looks at Y/N. Y/N starts crying harder. âI love you both.â He said and his grip on their hands weakened. He was dead.
The others started showing up and everyone was crying. Rafe showed up and saw Y/N put JJâs hand in his lap. He couldnât even feel relief about this, nothing about it was. He wasnât jealous or mad cuz for once he knew that she was his and that no matter what they were together.
He got on the ground with her. âHey.â He said and she collapsed in his lap crying for her friend. âItâs okay baby. I understand and I promise you we will avenge him.â He whispered to her. One thing she learned about being married to Rafe Cameron was that he kept his word. Especially on Revenge.Â
#outer banks x reader#outer banks#outer banks season 4#obx4#obx#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron smut#drew starkey#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank smut#rudy pankow
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I didn't use chatGPT, but we had a workshop about how to use generative AI for efficiency at work (I'm a librarian) and I decided to put one of the free services to the test. It doesn't write for you, it just "helps" to plan story beats and outline.
So, I put in prompts for my most high concept fic seeing if it could best my abilities. It's a first contact with an alien sapphic romance set in a medieval Near East setting, written in the style of a 1920s pulp sci-fi. There's a lot going on there.
Central to the story is that the two main characters are isolated for a year, and the alien absolutely is marooned on this planet with little hope of returning to her society. It was supposed to be bittersweet. The whole point is she falls in love and decides to stay and contribute her knowledge of technology and science to this uncontacted world.
And the AI outline was just derivative and dogshit. I tried many times to put it on the track I took, and it just kept spitting out pablum. The AI was dead set that the two should separate at the end like E.T. or something. I won't be using these tools going forward for my fics.
just saw a fanfic on ao3 have a dedication for chatgpt... that section is meant for your horny perverted mutual who proofread your work, you violated sacred law and you will be torn apart and laid bare btw
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luke x older reader anon again! congrats on 1k! submitting the same request, with hearts and prompt 25 đ«¶đ»
warnings: unprotected p in v, age gap (not major.), religious themes & motifs, pining, childhood friends to lovers vibes, best friend's brother ofc, jealousy, occasionally insecure statements from luke, really just the sweetest sex you can imagine. i LOVED writing this. hence... the length.
WC: 4,351
Youâve been friends with the Hughes boys as long as you can remember. The first time you met Quinn, it was during your first pee-wee skate.Â
Your dad was a big hockey fan, so he wanted to teach you how to skate. The debate had been between figure skating and hockeyâ your mom loved gymnastics, dance, and figure skating, having been an artistic athlete herself. Your dad wanted you to skate regardless, but hockey felt more suited for your talents. You were a competitive childâ and territorial over your toysâ so your dad thought it would translate well into a hockey environment.Â
He took you to the Olympics in Salt Lake when you were three years old. You went to see figure skating and two of the United States hockey gamesâ one for the men and one for the women. To your dad, it wasnât a surprise how your eyes grew into saucers when you watched your first live hockey game.
Heâd enrolled you in peewee skate the following week. There were no girls-only leagues, so you were put into a coed league. Quinn was in the same league. You became very fast friendsâ you liked to talk, your new little buddy liked to listen, and then you finally got him out of his shell midway through the season and your friendship was fully cemented. Actually, the second you learned his last name was Hughesâ like Sarah Hughes, who won the Olympic Gold in singleâs figure skating when you were in Utahâ he was stuck with you. Just because youâd preferred hockey didnât mean you didnât love ice skating, too. It just wasnât your passion.
You and Quinn stayed in touch after that peewee hockey season, enrolling in the same league and requesting to be on the same team until you both graduated into the boys- and girls-only leagues. You still remained friends, staying in contact as best you could when he moved to Toronto. Youâd send letters back and forth and you became a pro at interpreting Quinnâs boyishly terrible handwriting. Heâd tell you about his brothers, his parents, his school, and his hockey teams. Youâd keep him updated on home, but then it stopped being home to Quinn. Soon enough, you were only talking about hockey and family. âDid you see that Crosby won the Hart Trophy?â âYeah! Ovi got the Calder though, so weâre still on even playing field. Canadian boy.â âHey, Ovi is Russian. Choose a real American and get back to me.â
It wasnât long until you secured an invitation to visit the Hughes during the summer. You and your family went up to Toronto to visit them and you got to play with the Hughes boys for a whole week. It was so much fun, so the next summer, you begged to invite them to your place for a week.
The tradition continued for years, alternating houses and hometowns. You and Quinn both applied to Michiganâ he played hockey, you did not. You were a good player, but youâre more of a beer league girl. You werenât recruited to play college hockeyâ which, for a while, you thought was weird, because there are so few female hockey players in America. Youâre hoping that your lack of recruitment means that there are hundreds of amazing women who are better than you at the sport, and that helped you accept your fate. After all, Quinn would sometimes bring you to the rink when it was empty. Youâd get to play for a little whileâ and it was nice, in college, to have someone who knew you so well.
A lot of people assumed that you and Quinn were together, but that couldnât be further from the truth. Quinn was like your brother. There was that weird month when you were thirteen and youâd gone to visit him over the summer and youâd thought, maybe⊠but it turned out that you were just thirteen and confused because of your rampant hormones and puberty. Quinn is just your friend, your best friend.Â
All of the brothers were pretty off-limits. Youâd seen the way girls had started flirting with Jack as heâd entered his teens. Youâre able to admit that heâs a cute boy. Luke was an absolute sweetheart, always trying to play with Quinn (and, by extension, you) as youâd grown up. You felt so fond of Luke in a âlook at how precious he is, I need to protect himâ sort of way.
And then, last night at the lake house, heâd helped you line up a shot in pool and kept his hand on the small of your back when you bent over the table, and your mind had been spinning ever since.Â
You canât tell Quinn, obviously. Thatâs his baby brother. Youâre not even sure how you feel about itâ Lukeâs always been your little buddy. Now, heâs over half a foot taller than you, so heâs not so little anymore. Stillâ heâs four years younger than you and Quinn. Itâs the equivalent of a freshman hooking up with a senior and you feel icky.Â
Regardless, you canât keep your eyes off of him. He likes to twirl his fork between his fingers when heâs done eating dinner. Heâll spread his legs and sit forward when heâs playing video games with his brothers. An absent-minded, crooked smile falls on his mouth every time heâs only half-listening to you or the other boys. Itâs paired with a look in his eyes that you can only describe as warm and content. In twenty-four hours, youâve noticed more things about Luke than youâve ever seen before.Â
Heâs grown up. Itâs still a little weird to you, but heâs 21. Youâre still 24, even though your 25th birthday is slowly creeping forward. You find yourself justifying the three year age gap, persuading yourself that itâs fine to look at Luke like that, but then you catch yourself and look away. Youâre pushing the idea out of your brain.
But heâs goofy, and cute, and so sweet. Heâs the same Luke as always, but youâre seeing him in a brand new way.
Youâre able to keep yourself at bay for over a week. The boys throw a party and invite some girls over. Normally, youâre not jealous. Youâre calm. You donât care.Â
Across the room, thereâs a girl flirting with Luke. Sheâs got a hand on his arm and youâre nursing a drink, seeing red. Youâre using Jack as a shield, but youâre still able to look over his shoulder. You think youâre being slick, but it turns out⊠youâre not.
âWhat are you looking at?â Jack laughs, tilting his head at you exaggeratedly before turning.
Unfortunately, you know youâve been found out. Thereâs only one thing that would have you glowering in such a way. Nothing else in sight is nearly as interesting as Luke and the girl beside him. Jack clocks it right away.
He turns back to you with a tight, knowing smile, like heâs trying to hold back laughter. He pushes his tongue into his cheek and quirks his eyebrows at you.Â
âInteresting,â Jack says, swirling his drink in his solo cup and then bringing the rim to his mouth. He maintains eye contact as he sips.Â
You pop the bottom of the cup, making the drink splash into Jackâs face. âFuck off.â
He wipes his mouth and crosses his arms, cradling the drink in the pocket of his elbow. âYou and little Lukey?â
You grind your teeth and glare at him in the most menacing way you can. Jack has known you for too long to be intimidated by your glares. He also never really cared that much in the first placeâ heâs too shit-eating to be concerned about the repercussions of his words.
Jack smirks some more. âDonât worry,â he says, popping his jaw like heâs turning a piece of gum over in his mouth. âYour secret is safe with me.â
You clench your teeth and continue glaring. You suck your cheeks in and bite down on the inside of your mouth, lips curling with annoyance.Â
âYou know, he wouldnât mind if you went over there and staked your claim,â Jack says with a one-shouldered shrug. âI donât think heâd be upset at all.â
âFuck off,â you repeat again.Â
âCâmon, Y/N.â Jack pushes your shoulder lightly, jokingly. âYouâre being obvious.â
âQuinnâll kill me. Andâ itâs Luke, Jack.â
âSo what? Itâs not weird. We all grew up together. Weâre all around the same age. Itâs not a big deal. Heâs had a crush on you forever.â
âItâs different,â you sing-song. âHeâs younger than me.â
âLetâs go, Cougar,â Jack teases, reaching up to high-five you.Â
You donât take it, instead deciding to punch his stomach.Â
Jack doubles over like you actually wounded him, but straightens up smiling. âYou oughta go make him jealous.â
âYouâre pissing me off.â
âDude, Iâm serious. Letâs go flirt with Trevor or something. Someone who Luke thinks youâre better thanâ I guarantee heâll be over here in a second.â
Jack actually tugs you toward Trevor and explains the plan before you can even get a word in. So much for keeping your secret. Trevor, to his credit, is a very willing subject. He keeps a hand on your waist during the whole conversation and you do your best to ignore the niggling desire to look over your shoulder at Luke.Â
Turns out, you shouldâve been worried about Quinn.
âGet your hands off her, Zegras,â Quinn snaps, pushing Trevorâs hand off of your waist and stepping between you. âYouâre not allowed to fuck my friend.â
If thatâs how he feels about one of his friends touching you, then you feel a bit faint at the idea of Quinnâs reaction to Luke getting together with you. That might seal the dealâ you really canât fuck Luke.
âIâm not fucking her,â Trevor says. âWeâre working an angle here, Quinn.â
Quinn scoffs. âYeah? What angle is that, Trevor?â
âWeâre trying to make Luke jealous, hello?â Trevor says like itâs obvious.Â
âOh my God,â you groan, covering your face in your hands. âTrevor, you fucking moron.â
âWhat?â Quinn demands, but his look turns into sheer bewilderment. âYouâre doing this for Luke?â
âIâm going to bed,â you announce, stomping away.Â
Trevor, somehow, is free to follow after you. Quinn hasnât stepped in to stop him. You wish he would. Heâs probably too confused. âThis is good,â he says. âHeâs definitely going to see us going upstairs together. Hold my hand.â
âNo.â
âDude, it was working. Luke was looking over at us the whole time.â
âI donât care, Trevor.â
âDonât you want him?â
âNot like that,â you hiss between your teeth. âI donât want to make Luke jealous. I want him to come to me because he wants to, okay? Go downstairs. I donât want to be with you right now.â
Trevor holds up his hands in surrender. âAlright. Iâll go. Goodnight.â
âGoodnight.â
You disappear into your bedroom, changing into pajamas and climbing into bed. Itâs nice to have your own bedroom in the lake house that Jack and Quinn bought with their NHL salaries, but tonight itâs bittersweet to be able to hear the party going on as you lay in bed. Itâs not at all like when you fall asleep during a holiday party and your parents put you to bed, and you can still hear the laughter of the guests in your dreams. Now each bout of laughter reminds you of her, the girl whose hand was on Luke like she already owned him, and you wonder if heâs making her giggle with his stupid corny jokes.
God, last week you didnât even like Luke. Now youâre burning with jealousyâ or maybe itâs the fires from Hell, because youâve got a completely inappropriate crush on your best friendâs little brother. You can never come back to the lake house like this, at least not until youâve gotten over this shit. Why are you so affected? Itâs Luke, for fuckâs sake.
Itâs Luke again when someone comes knocking at your door. You thought it would be Quinn, ready to chew you out or question you extensively about this crush. To your surprise, the problem himself appears.Â
âYou okay?â Luke asks, hovering awkwardly in the doorway. His silhouette is burly and big and you have to close your eyes to shake the pang of emotion that penetrates your chest.
âJust tired,â you reply quietly. âCouldnât stomach the party anymore.â
âDid Trevor say something to upset you?â
Quieter: âNo, Luke.â
He hovers silently. You can hear the cogs in his brain turning. His pitch matches yours when he speaks next, although his tone is much more melancholic than despondent. âAre you mad at me?â
You hesitate for a second too long. Youâre not mad, but youâre certainly taken aback by the uncertainty in his words. âNo, Luke,â you say again, but this time the pang that goes through your chest is more familiar. You donât want to upset him. Youâve always wanted to protect Luke from the world, but now youâve made him unsure and insecure. âIâm sorry.â
âWhy?â Luke asks, and you have to take a shaky breath. He sounds so small. Itâs like the time that you didnât let him ride bikes with you and Quinn to the store, even though he begged, and then he cried and ran to his mom. After seeing Lukeâs puffy red eyes and resolute determination to ignore you for the rest of the night, your soda and candy bar didnât taste as good. In fact, they tasted a bit like cardboard. You ended up throwing half of the bar away and going home early. You swore youâd never make sweet little Luke feel that way again.
âYou wouldnât get it, I donât think,â you tell him quietly, pushing yourself up in bed and resting on your elbows. You take a deep breath and look at him, sure that he can see the way your chest rises and falls.Â
Your eyes have adjusted enough that you can see the way Lukeâs mouth opens, as if to say something, then closes with a shake of his head. You notice his eyes fluttering towards the corner of your room, removing you from his line of vision. âOkay. You donât have to tell me,â Luke says, biting his lower lip in a dejected and heartbreaking way. âI get it. Iâll go.â
âLuke,â you sigh. âDonât be like that.â
âNo, itâs fine. You donât wanna talk to me,â he says with a shrug. âWeâre not friends like that. Iâm not Quinn.â
âLuke.â You push yourself up further, pushing the covers down and criss-crossing your legs. âItâs not that.â
âItâs always that. And if itâs not that, then itâs that Iâm not Jack. I justâ I donât want to hear that from you.â Luke shrugs again, always defaulting to that motion when heâs deflecting because heâs big and awkward and he doesnât know what to do with his hands. As if heâs thinking the same thing, you watch him shove his fists in his pockets and keep his shoulders tense.
âCome here,â you request, head tilted and mouth turned down with sadness. You shift your position so that both of your knees are under you and youâre sitting back on your heels. âLuke, please.â
You hold your arms out for a hug, not for the first time in your life, and Luke shuffles over. He takes his time and he refuses to meet your eyes, just stooping down so that he can wrap his arms around your middle. Itâs a weird position, given that youâre kneeling on the bed and heâs half-bent over. You can feel the pout and doubt all over Lukeâs face, so you reach a hand up to his curls and run your thumb over one of his more perfect spirals. Heâs letting it grow out a bit and you like how messy it looks.
âJack told me something,â you reveal softly, still petting through his hair. Luke stiffens in your arms, but doesnât pull away. âHe said you like me.â
Luke groans and struggles in your grip, even sinking to his knees to try and get out of your grasp. Heâs kneeling beside the bed, and you bring your legs around so that heâs situated between them. You keep a hand on his shoulder, the other still playing with his hair. Heâs evading your eyes again, looking stoutly at the floor.
âI have feelings for you, too,â you whisper, the admission feeling heavy and wrong and like a knife to the gut. Admittance is the first step, but you just feel silly. âAnd I donât really know how to deal with those. Youâreâ Iâve known you since we were so little, Luke.â
âThat doesnât matter,â Luke says bluntly, a hint of a complaint in his sentence. âYouâve been acting weird because you like me, too?â
âI was upset that there was a pretty girl talking to you,â you say sheepishly. âAnd I just didnât want to go along with Jackâs plan. He wanted to make you jealous. Thought that would work.â
âIâm always jealous when you talk to another guy,â Luke tells you like itâs obvious. âI just, kind of, gave up. I didnât think youâd ever feel that way about me. I thought Iâd get over it. Stupid childhood crush, you know.â
âYeah,â you agree, understanding that you yourself just experienced a similar line of thinking. You said youâd get over it, but you donât really want to. Not right now, at least, when Lukeâs sitting in front of you and heâs got a tentative hand on your calf, rubbing his thumb over the muscle and staring up at you with big eyes. You bite your lip, trying to think logically about this, but all you can do is examine Lukeâs features like youâll never get to see them again. Maybe you wonâtâ not like this. Not in this liminal space between something and nothing. This is one of those moments that you know wonât lastâ because the next one will change everything. So, for a moment longer, you just reach out and run your thumb along Lukeâs cheekbone, eyes flickering between his cheek, his lips, and his eyes.Â
âWhat do weââ Luke loses his words and presses his lips together, looking up at you, expression completely tortured. He turns his head and kisses the side of your knee, which makes your heart split a bit more.
âI donât know,â you admit. You wish you had a better answer for him. You truly arenât sure what you can do from here. There are too many things to considerâ so you wonât consider them at all.
âCan I sleep with you tonight?â Luke asks.Â
A fond burst of laughter escapes from your chest. âLukey, this is a twin bed. We canât both fit.â
A pout comes over Lukeâs face again. âWe can too,â he insists, furrowing his brow a bit. âIâll prove it. Move over.â
Heâs climbing into your bed before you can tell him no. His long and spindly limbs are coaxing you to lay back, then warming you as he holds you tight. Itâs a tight squeeze, but that just means that youâre touching him everywhere. Itâs nice and you suddenly wish you were facing him, so you roll awkwardly in his arms until youâre face to face. Your noses are nearly touching and Luke is staring at you, really taking you in.Â
Your eyes find his lips⊠and then heâs leaning in.
Itâs charged with tension and electricity, but itâs soft and hesitant. Neither of you want to test the boundaries and you donât think this feels quite real. Your stomach is swooping with bats, not butterflies, and itâs exactly what you wanted. This is what you expected when you found yourself imagining kissing Luke this past week, even if you shook yourself out of it because it felt inappropriate. Here, it feels so right that you swear you could start crying from relief. Youâve never felt that way before from just a kiss. Your chest could burst.
When he pulls away, you feel frozen in time. Your eyes are closed and his lips are right there, a hairâs breadth away. You swallow, touching his chest, palm flat.Â
âWas that okay?â Luke asks.
You nod, then slide your lips over his again.Â
You come together in a way that canât be described as anything other than desperate. Your hands touch him in any way they can and Lukeâs do the same. You move in tandem like youâve got a language of your ownâ an indignant hum from you followed by a sweet âI knowâ from Luke before he touches you exactly the way you want.
Kissing the whole time, Luke gets you on your back. Your lips only part to remove your shirt, then his. Lukeâs big hand cradles your jaw and neck, keeping your head and mouth exactly where he wants them. He guides you with a surprising amount of experience and sureness, although maybe heâs fueled by the same feeling of rightness as you are.
He opens you on his other hand, snaking his hand into your pajamas shorts because he canât be bothered to remove them. His hips roll against your thigh, his long torso displacing your pelvis from his as he kisses you. Heâs bigâ you knew it height-wise, but now you can feel him against your leg, and you want him to fill you. You want him to claim you, to take youâ you want to give all of yourself to Luke. Itâs madness and though youâre sure youâve lost your mind, the crack in your chest that pours out love for Luke has taken control of your body.
After three fingers and a lot of whimpering from you, clutches at Lukeâs hair and bruising kisses working in tandem with your noises, Luke works your shorts down. He breaks from your lips so that he can take you in beneath him. He touches your waist and the curve of your stomach, the one that you cringed at for so many years as a teen but finally accepted in your grown age.Â
âYouâre so beautiful,â he says reverently, eyes portraying nothing but sincerity.
You canât say anything to that, nothing that can match his utterly genuine sentiment or portray how grateful you are that he took the time to say those words, so you kiss him again. You muster up an embarrassingly wanton âplease,â which you draw across his lips like a paintbrush.Â
You canât get enough of saying his name as he presses into you, his heavy body blanketing yours. You can feel his every muscle move as he works into you and youâve never felt more like a masterpiece. There were times when you made fun of the phrase âmaking love,â but sex with Luke feels intensely like youâre creating something tangible by coming together in this way.Â
The moans and cries that youâre trying to stifle so that no one comes barging in should be enough to convince Luke that this is everything to you. Sweet, sweet Lukeâ he seems choked up when he says, âThey canât fuck you like I can.â He says the sentence like he has to prove it to you, like youâre not falling apart under his touch. He pleads with you between the words, in the spaces where you can see his breath hitch in his throat.
Youâre still not sure where this night will leave you tomorrow morning. Everything, everything has turned on its head. Somehow, you feel a bit like youâve been leading up to this for a while, not just in the past week. Luke knew it before you did.
âNo,â you agree, touching his cheeks and keeping his eyes on yours. âThey canât.â You kiss him briefly, feeling his tongue swipe into your mouth before you pull away. âIâm yours.â
Luke actually keens at that, his arms straining as he shifts his weight to fuck into you harder. Because youâre so close, the bed isnât moving enough to bang against the walls or creak on its boxsprings, and youâre glad. This is a moment for just you and Lukeâ you donât want anyone hearing. You donât want anyone to be around. You hope that theyâve all miraculously disappeared and you and Luke are the last people in the house, maybe even on Earth.
âIâm yours, Iâm yours,â Luke repeats, his forehead meeting yours. You squeeze your eyes shut and inhale, his breath automatically syncing with yours. Youâre overwhelmed, but deep in the back of your mind, thereâs a voice reminding you about an ancient tradition in Polynesian culture where forehead-to-forehead contact and breathing together is sacred, like youâre sharing the breath of lifeâ like thereâs some power in the universe, a god or many, clicking things into place.
He unravels first, fucking you through his release with urgence akin to the sentence he said before. Always trying to prove himselfâ but Luke has always been enough for you. Maybe not always in this way, but now, thereâs nothing he can do to shake your favor. All of the feelings in your heart have been poured out, shared and mixed with his own, and itâs created a puddleâ or a bubbleâ around the pair of you.Â
Itâs been written that sex is when two people come together as one. You finally understand what they mean, joining Luke in the seas of ecstasy.
Sweet nothings and touches like worship follow. Your hands canât get enough of Lukeâs strong figure. He runs his fingertips along your body like heâs in awe of your figure, like he gets to touch a statue so lifelike and beautiful that he canât believe it was ever a block of marble at all.Â
The concerns about what will happen tomorrow donât exist here, in your dark bedroom with Luke stuck to you like glue. For now, itâs just you. Together, breathing, touching, lovingâ thereâs nothing else that could matter. This is it.
note: i have to work on my grad school app in the coming days, so this will probably be the last blurb/oneshot until i finish the application. but, i might get bored of writing that and could pop in to do another smut piece here and there ;) hopefully i'll chat with y'all soon! but i don't want to rush this grad school app LOL
#puck-luck's 1k celebration#puck-luck's fics#andy writes anythingđ#luke hughes#luke hughes x reader#luke hughes fanfiction#luke hughes smut#luke hughes blurb#lh43#nhl#nhl smut#nhl fanfiction#nhl blurb#hockey smut
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hi iâm gonna b honest ive been having a hell of a month (awful awful happenings) and i just went thru ur blog cuz i rlly like ur sonadow art!! they bring me a lot of comfort n help me feel better and i see you have a lot of love for them too and i just wanted to say that your art is amazing :)
god i felt that these past couple months for me have been ROUGH, iâm sorry life has been stressful for you too and i hope youâre doing better now :( but iâm glad my art was able to make you feel at least a little better đâ€ïž idk i just love sonadow bc just thinking about them is enough to make me feel a little better so iâm glad my art can do that for others đ„ș
anyway here have a doodle they are cats again
messages like these remind me that itâs okay to not want to or even have the time to work on fully painted and finished masterpieces, i have so so many sonadow doodles but i donât post a majority of them bc theyâre just sketches and iâm worried that people wonât care bc theyâre just sketches. but like, i have so many ideas of them that i wanna make that i donât have the time and then i get stressed that i havenât been posting and i have to take a breather from socials to make sure i donât fall into another cycle of cranking out art just to post something and not bc i want to
sorry for rambling, iâll try to get more art out but iâm trying not to put myself under extreme pressure when i already have other responsibilities in my life bc then i just get super stressed and itâs awful. i really only like posting if itâs something i drew as a vent/comfort?
again i hope youâre doing better now but even if youâre not itâs ok bc sonadow still exists â€ïž
#sonadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#my art#sketch#asks#sth fanart#sth#sonic the hedghog fanart#sometimes you have to be a bit mentally ill to get mentally well
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hi hello so for any people curious bout the dream beef i am talking about im gon chronicle it all here in a hopefully fully contextual way for both longterm weirdos and new people who dont know bout my parasocial beef w dream. ill try to keep my biases out of it somewhat but anyways,
this began with a podcast Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold have together in which they had philza as a guest. Episode 9 is currently behind a paywall on their patreon but they have a youtube channel where they post them publically as well. Not sure if they make all their episodes public eventually or not but i digress.
Twitter user _constel_ has posted 5 clips from the podcast in question that contain their discussion about dream. I have downloaded the videos but tumblr doesnt want me to put them in this post so i will try and sum up each clip as I go.
Clip 1: Phil starts talking about how once the dsmp was done people would joke about how their 'contracts' would be over and they would be allowed to talk about things behind the scenes. philza mentions the infamous philza tweet in response to dream.
for context, the main discussion is around this exchange from around february 2021, where dream 'jokingly' argues that he is responsible to tommy's high viewership on youtube:
Most of it the tweets are deleted by both parties but it was very much a whole thing. Phil has apparently joked about revealing the context of his reply 'when he retires' (mentioned clip 1).
Jack Manifold had apparently been in a call with tommyinnit when the exchange was happening and recalls tommy being extremely stressed. The context philza gives is that he was texted by tommy to look at the thread while he was going on a walk and tommy was panicking over if dream was genuine (mentioned clip 2). Philza says "I'll find out if he's fucking joking' and that he essentially vibe checked dream. Tommy also states that after the twitter exchange he legitimately wrote in his diary to never be rude to dream: "never be horrible to dream. It's not worth it. It makes me too sad". Additionally jack manifold establishes that he hated dream from the beginning, they hate each other, and that, although he acknowledges dream aided him through the dream smp, he hates how dream 'takes ownership of other people and their accomplishments because he was a guiding hand' (mentioned clip 3).
Jack manifold mentions that tommy was 16 during this exchange and philza additionally says it was out of line (Clip 4). Philza more openly talks about there being 'reds flag after red flags' with dream in clip 5.
OKAY thats honestly a vague description and theres a LOT more so watch the clips if u want. Heres another tweet 'summarizing' it as well. But anyways this of course had people talking about dream again, some people (accidentally?) acting like this is about dream smp lore, and a lot of people concerned about how tommy was afraid to upset dream and would blame himself when dream picked fights with him.
Dream's response on dreamwastaken was to tweet about how he appreciated everyone who was on the server dispite differences, as well as a zip file to download the dsmp server/world file.
Worth noting there is a limitation on how many people can download the file within 24 hours so now people are only getting an error message when trying to access it which is fucking funny. On his private he also tweeted "love and appreciate you guys <3 very happy to be uploading again :) hope to keep it rolling" (Im not cropping out the reply its funny)
Thats all hes said so far, I havent seen tommy or jack manifold talking about it either. technically it isnt outright in response to their podcast but obviously everyone is taking it as such.
final stuff/my thoughts: dream has obviously had a tendency to kinda 'take credit' for 'making' the streamers who were on the dsmp and its notable that in his tweet he still acts like his server was the reason for people's fame and relationships. Saying 'a group of creators most of which would never have collaborated under any other circumstance got together and made something really cool' is just his thinly veiled way of still taking credit for tommy's fame and the relationships he and others have made and its moronic. Not to mention dsmp was very much NOT the server that got these specific people together, i mean techno and phil met through minecraft mondays, tommy and jack manifold met both of them through smp earth i believe. Even if the dsmp wasnt a thing they probably would have collaborated with other members through mcc eventually. the idea that the dsmp was what brought them together and a bunch of minecraft clowns would 'never have collaborated under any other circumstance' is stupid.
anyways sorry this is long as shit. im going to pray dream doesnt let this go for at least 3 to 5 business days as per usual
#fuckit im tagging things#dsmp#dream smp#jack manifold#tommyinnit#philza#dream hate#spent way too much time on this.#if more happens ill add it in rbs. might try n post the clips seperately too#philza says some goodass shit
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When k started online dating several years ago after a bad patch, I was looking to reconnect with my hobbies - a difficult thing at a time when I was struggling with postgraduate qualifications and 12 hour shifts.
I was keen to start reading some Pratchett - put off repeatedly due to it being a rather mammoth task.
I remember he asked why I had thought to start reading Pratchett as that was really "something for teenagers". Or something to that effect. Tge implication that there was something... unusual in a woman of my age wanting to read his work.
I remember not really knowing what to say. I was a bit baffled, because I'd seen people of all ages talking lovingly about Pratchett's work. I'd read enough excerpts to feel that it gelled with my sense of humor. Good Omens basically got me out of the aforementioned horrible time in my life. And I'd read enough Douglas Adams to not conflate humor or silliness with bad writing.
Now, I unashamedly read manga and I don't think YA is just for kids. I don't think we should feel shame for reading fanfiction. I think we should enjoy a wide range of media.
Maybe this guy was perfectly fine, I'm sure he didnt necessarily mean it pejorativey, but I just didn't feel like hanging out with someone who I'd have to defend seemingly "childish" indulgences to. I'm not saying that's the only reason that we didn't meet again, but the tone of that conversation left me feeling that this was not my person.
I later met another guy, as you do. Right from the start, we talked at length about our favourite media, and I shared some anime recommendations. He offered to lend me his copy of the first couple of Pratchett books and went to look for them. Alas, he couldn't find them, he had a lot of books on his shelves, to be fair. But he was excited to share a series he loved with someone who was new to it and talking about the things I enjoyed and wanted to share was so easy. There was no pretention about what media is "for kids" or "for adults" or what media men are meant to consume.
Reader, I married him.
Now, you might think that marrying him was an unnecessarily convoluted way to ensure I get to have all the Pratchett books, and I'd probably agree.
But I did get a best friend to discuss all the things I like with, so I think it was a good deal overall. Looking back, given how careful he is with his possessions, I feel pretty flattered and amused that he was infatuated enough to offer out his books.
I still haven't gotten very far through the books (residency took priority), but I love that they are sitting by like old friends, waiting for me to pick up where I left off.
One of the weird things about medical training that we don't really talk about is that, in the pursuit of being a competent clinician, you miss out on so much of everything else through simply having little time. There are so many films or series or books I just never got around to enjoying. I used to feel kind of self conscious about all the things I have wanted to do but never gotten around to.
But I love sharing my life with someone who is always delighted to show me a great new thing that I haven't yet enjoyed.
It's never too late to pick up something new. And I hope this will open up Pratchett to a new audience.
Okay so this is a big deal
To me, and to a significant subset of Sir Terry's fans (including most of you who've found this by the tags), his writing is serious commentary on the human condition - politics, prejudice, self-control, revenge vs. justice, religion, idealism, faith in people vs. cynicism, and more - dressed up with fantasy settings and a hefty leavening of humor to make it fun to read. And it is WILDLY fun to read, actual laugh-out-loud or at least a snicker averaging about every page.
But there's this common idea among the "important literature" people that fun and funny books are not also worthwhile or important in the same way.
This is a Discworld book being released WITH ACADEMIC COMMENTARY and AS A PENGUIN CLASSIC. That's a HUGE amount of recognition.
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SUGARY SWEET â.đË
summary; youâre so desperate to try cocaine, you see rafe with it all the time, you donât understand why he doesnât let you have it considering he loves it so much. little do you know, the sucker cares, and he doesnât want to corrupt your sweet little mindÂ
content; dealer!rafe(?), drunk reader, placebo effect
rafe is at the back of the party like always, doing his usual dealings with the coke that he gets from barry, a simple side hustle to get some extra money his dad doesnât need to know about.Â
heâs not entirely sure where you are, though he has a pretty good idea that youâre out on the floor, dancing around and drinking far too much alcohol for your body to handle. he hopes it stays that way too, he knows that it will be difficult the moment you come back to see him.
you had been nagging him recently, nagging him because you wanted to try coke. heâd said no of course, multiple times, over and over again. he knows you only want to try it because you see him doing it, and of course you canât have any interest of your own, you need to do what he does all the time.Â
the last three parties youâd been to, youâd been on his back all night begging for him to just put one teeny tiny line on your gums. he didnât want to though. you see, as irresponsible and psycho-crazy as rafe is, he knows how innocent you are. he knows you havenât been touched by the world and he doesnât want to be the one to bring you into the cold hard reality where things hurt. that means no hard drugs for you.Â
when packing for the party, he'd prepared a little something to sate the inevitably drunk you that will come bouncing over at some point, desperate to become more intoxicated. just a little placebo that he hopes will slip past your notice.Â
itâs just past midnight when it comes to the point where he decides to use it.
youâre completely off your face as you hobble down to the back of the room where rafe is located on one of the couches, doing his dealings of course. ârafeeee,â you giggle, falling down to conveniently land in his lap. âhii,â you speak in drunken affection, bringing a pointy nailed finger up to touch his nose.Â
âhi baby,â he murmurs, not paying a lot of attention to you as he multitasks the conversation with counting a stack of bills that somebody had handed him. âyou okay?â he asks absently.Â
âmmh⊠Iâm okay⊠want somethinâ though.â you smile, another giggle bubbling up your throat, âwant you to give me a lineee,â you singsong the obvious statement that rafe was expecting.
he chuckles, âyeah? still hung up on that huh..â he shakes his head in small amusement at your absolute persistence on trying the drug, more lighthearted about it now that he knows he has a solution. âwell I got something for you.âÂ
he places the stack of bills down, making sure to mark his place in counting before digging into a bag beside him and pulling out a small ziplock baggy filled with white powder. your eyes widen, âis that it,â you say in excitement.Â
rafe nods, âyes it is baby.â no it isnât, itâs actually powdered sugar, pinched from your own stock that you keep for baking sweet treats. but you donât have to know that, in fact heâs counting on the fact that you donât notice in your extremely drunken state.Â
âooh!â you clap your hands, âthank youuu rafe Iâm so excited!â you watch as he clicks the bag open and gathers some of the substance on his thumb. then he brings it up towards you.Â
âyouâll want it on your gums,â he tells you, which is true, you think that snorting it would be barbaric. âopen your mouth.â he orders gently.
you do as youâre told, parting your lips and letting him put his thumb into your mouth so that he can smear the powder onto your gums.Â
itâs sweeter than you expect, way sweeter, almost like sugar. you say as much, âsweet,â you remark in surprise, though you donât catch onto the ruse one bit, in fact, you think you may be beginning to feel the buzz.
rafe smiles at you and nods, âlike sugar, special batch just for you baby.â oh well, you feel flattered. your boyfriend loves you so much that he got a whole special batch for you.
âoh rafe!â you giggle, âyou shouldnât haveee,â youâre so happy, the music seems so much louder oh, the dance floor is calling you. âIâm so happyyy,â you smile, âI love this song!âÂ
rafeâs plan has been very much successful. you are entirely convinced that you are currently riding the wave of intoxication that a line of cocaine provides. he chuckles, âyeah? you love this song? why donât you go dance?â he suggests, immediately catching your agreement.Â
âoh yeah. yeah!â you bounce off of his lap, standing up with a newfound bout of energy. âI love you rafe,â you begin to walk off, âthankyou so much!â you shout finally while in far too close proximity to him.Â
he shakes his head in amusement before going back to his work. he never thought heâd pick a girl like you, a girl so innocent and so sheltered. but god he loves you, and he wants to keep you exactly the way you are.Â
#rafe cameron prompt#rafe cameron concept#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron outer banks
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He Brings Me Flowers: (Sex Pollen/Logan) Part Two
Guess who finished this finally??? IT TWAS ME
Included is a lot of smut, some angst because of who I am as a person, after care, and snacks. Mostly it's smut though.
Lowkey could be in honor Deadpool and Wolverine being out on Disney+ today, but that's a coincidence I swear.
Hope you enjoy!
Part One
[Logan List]
[Masterlist]
Tagging all these lovely people who lowkey helped make this happen simply by telling me they wanted more
@katsukis1wife
@gothamnighthawk
@emotrash1
@squishyfruitloop
@angeiulst
@unitedbyfreak
@chubbyhedgehog
@jessie-baby-96
Anywho, at 9433 words (I am not sorry)
My body was on fire.
I tried to breathe through it, to keep whatever madness that wanted to consume me away. I couldnât let it consume me. I shuffled in my seat, trying to put out the flames but it mostly just shifted them around.
I had to get us home.
By the time I landed the jet at the mansion, I figured I must have lost two to three years off my life from exertion alone. Holding even one person for so long took a toll on me, and since I refused to practice the skill, holding all five of them was basically me deciding to run a marathon when I hadnât run so much as a mile in years.
Not to mention the angry gnawing that had picked up in my center that demanded I let Logan do what he had been aiming to do to me. At some point during the flight, he had shifted in my hold, trying to break free again. But all he managed to do was flop over and land with his face on my boot.
Luckily, he stopped fighting once he was using my foot as a pillow, perhaps the contact contented him for now. Unluckily, I could feel the warmth of him against me, even through leather, and the gnawing just grew sharper and sharper until I was softly moaning to myself, pretending that rubbing myself on the seat did anything to ease the fire.
But I was in no state to care by the time the supplemental staff came to get everyone. I watched them from my seat as three people in full hazmat came onto the jet to assess the situation.
âYou good, Miss Y/N?â This was Hankâs voice but I couldnât tell where it came from.
âGolden,â I managed, my eyes squeezed shut. âJust please, get these fruitcakes unloaded so I can unfreeze them,â I sounded a little drunk and I heard Hankâs chuckle.
âYou did good getting everyone home,â I could hear the smile in his voice and had it been any other situation I would have preened at the proudness he was showing. But I was trying really hard not to shove my hand down my pants and all I really wanted was to get to my room and sort myself out. After all⊠surely, being away from the others, away from Logan, would be enough.
âKeep everyone separated for now,â Someone commanded. Logan groaned from at my feet and I knew it was only a matter of time before he broke free of my grasp. I wasnât sure what heâd do, but I was pretty sure no one would want to witness all that⊠and knew I wouldnât be able to fight him off for long in my current state.
I almost wondered why Iâd even want to.
âWeâve got Scott and Jean secured,â I heard someone shout loud enough for me to hear. I let those two slip from my hold. It felt like pulling splinters out, a moment more of discomfort, and then a relief.
âStorm and Rouge are good,â A different voice called next. I let them go and I heard Rouge shout something profane which made me smile absently. She was apparently extra feisty when she was feeling some type of way.
Two hazmat suits came and pulled Logan away from me and I choked myself on the whine that tried to escape me at the loss. A third hazmat suit sat in the copilot's chair and I was dully aware that it was Hank.
âI did some research on Malachi Mitchelle.â His voice was soothing, in a way, to my foggy brain as his voice did not stoke the fire. I nodded. âI think I know what happened to all of you to make you so⊠affectionate.âÂ
Somewhere outside the jet a roar sounded as Logan finally got free of my powers. There was a scuffle and his voice quieted down. Even the sound of him made my thighs tense.
âNot me, Iâm just sleepy,â I lied. I just needed to get away, as far away from Logan, as I could. Because I was weak and getting weaker by the second, if he came asking, Iâd likely give in this time.Â
And then Iâd never be able to face him again.
âGood, thatâs good.â Hank said. âBut the others then, based on the readings we downloaded from the jet and what I was able to find on MalachiâŠâ He coughed once, uncomfortable. âWell, let's just say, Malachi was known for making people feel good and he ended up making something that went a little too far. Iâm sure thatâs what they got into,âÂ
âHow do they fix it?â I asked. My eyes were blurry and I felt kinda like my uterus was going to melt down my legs at any second. I just wanted to crawl into bed and wait it out.
âThe only way out is through Iâm afraid,â Hank laughed nervously.
âOh,â I managed. Maybe Iâd have to be more active in my âwaiting it outâ plan, but whatever. As long as I got away from Logan. As long as I didnât make him hate me.
âAre you sure youâre ok, though? You werenât exposed?â Hank asked again. I waved him off.Â
âI just beat my record time for freezing someone by a couple of minutes,â I managed a smirk as pain shot up my spine. âAnd I did it times five. I just need a really, really, really long nap.â Hank chuckled at my tone but nodded his head.
âAlright, you still need to be decontaminated.â He stood. âAnd Iâll have someone come check on you, just in case,âÂ
âOk,â I mumbled. But I was not going to stick around to find out what they wanted to check. I could already feel myself straining to hear Loganâs voice, but so far all I could hear was machinery and the hazmat shower.
Someone came to get me, but it took all of my brainpower to focus on being normal. I grumbled through the decontamination spray, which was dry and unpleasant like getting sand blasted.
âWait here,â The hazmat suit that had decontaminated me said. I didnât recognize this voice, not that I tried hard to while I was sitting on the edge of a chair, trying really hard to not call out for Logan. I knew he was in the medbay somewhere, we all were. I also knew that if I called his name he would come running and heâd be able to ease the burning ache in my core.
But I didnât want that.Â
I didnât want him to want me just because of some stupid sex pollen. I knew Hank said the only way out was through, and from the bits Iâd understood from the conversation around me, that meant you had to bang whomever it was that your body craved. Which was why I hadnât felt the urge to jump any of the staff that were helping.Â
And also why I could hear Jean and Scott going at it from across the medbay, which was as awkward as it was unhelpful to the heat in my blood.
Before the hazmat suit that had helped me returned, I decided it would be best for me to just leave. Go somewhere where I couldnât hear the sounds of Rouge and Ororo getting off too. The whole medbay sounded like a porn set and I needed to get out of it before I made a move I couldnât take back.
I figured if I could get to my room, I could get my own rocks off enough times to get rid of this feeling. I had toys, I had batteries, I had my hands. Itâd be fine. And then Logan and I could still be friends when this was all finally over.
Walking turned out to be a specific kind of torture.Â
Everything hurt. While it had kind of felt like period cramps at first, the pain had shifted and spread out. It was like my skin was trying to eat itself, like my bones were made out of razor blades. I stumbled along the hall and into the elevator to go up to where the adult dorms were.
I didnât recall the dorms being so far away.
I leaned on the wall, thankful that the metal elevator wall was at least cool against my burning skin. Maybe Iâd need to take a cold shower too. But the thought of even that made me whimper in displeasure. I knew what my body wanted, what I probably needed, and yet I so desperately denied it.Â
I just needed to get to my room. To cool off. To calm down. To hold on just a little bit tighter.Â
My suit was uncomfortable on my skin, I could feel the seams as though they were also razors like my bones. I was beginning to wonder if Iâd made the right decision. It wouldnât be the first time my pride or whatever, got in the way of feeling better.
The hallway seemed longer than normal as I shuffled my way to my room. It wasnât very late in the day, and most people that lived in this wing were elsewhere and preoccupied, so I wasnât worried about anyone hearing my moaning as I made my way past each door.Â
Only three more doors until mine, but that felt like so far to go. Too far maybe. Maybe I could curl up out here in the hall and let the pain take me.
Every step shot lightning through my limbs that ricocheted around in my rib cage. My core felt like it had been filled with angry bees. I paused long enough to try to squeeze my legs together, to get some friction, hoping it would help somehow. But it did nothing. I tried to use my hand over my suit but the only thing that did was make my knees wobble and the bees inside me sting me harder. It wasnât the correct hand, nor nearly enough touch.Â
I tried to gather my strength by leaning against the wall, but it didnât seem to help me other than to keep me from falling on the floor.
âY/N!â Loganâs voice was like fresh rain on a forest fire.Â
I didnât have the energy to look behind me to see him coming. I did, however, feel those frustrated and angry tears that had plagued me since being on the jet finally break free. I knew I wouldnât be able to push him away anymore and I hated that I was so weak.Â
âGod, baby, look at me,â He sounded so worried for me. I wished it could mean something.
âHurts,â Was all I was able to mumble at him. I felt his hands on my arms, turning me so my back was against the wall. So that he could look at my face. My blood seemed to hum at his nearness. Like a magnet reaching for metal.
âHank said you didnât get hit with the pollen,â Loganâs eyes were still hazy, but he was at least restraining himself now. âSeems you lied to him sweetheart,â His fingers brushed my cheeks and I whined as if his touch hurt.
âYouâŠ?â I tried to ask why he was handling this better than before but got cut off by a wave of pain that threatened to knock me to the floor.
âCome on,â Logan said instead. I shook my head at him and tried to pull myself off the wall, to walk away from him. But I couldnât. I had always prided myself on being strong, a sick sort of triumph at my ability to deny myself anything I wanted and didnât think I deserved. But with this?Â
I hated how all I wanted to do was bury my face in his chest or maybe just swallow him whole.
Logan got an arm around my waist to help me stand and I felt like I was drowning in his nearness.Â
I wanted to get away from him.Â
I wanted to pull him closer.
When I stumbled along with him, he cursed at my slowness. He paused long enough to make a decision. His hand on my chin made me look at him, but I struggled to focus on his face when I saw him lick his dry lips. I wanted him to lick me like that. Gently, softly, thoroughly.
âStay with me a little longer, sweetheart, just gotta get to your room or Iâll have to fuck you out here in the hall,â Loganâs voice tried to remain light, as if it were a joke of some kind. But we both knew he would do exactly that if we didnât get behind a door.
I could only whine, low in my throat, because the pain was blooming behind my eyes like solar flares. I wondered if it would kill me if left unchecked. I wondered if that would be better than giving in.
But when Loganâs lips pressed against my sweaty forehead, I leaned into him. Another kiss on my temple drew my focus away from the burning hum in my blood. The third one landed on my jaw and I turned, trying to catch his mouth without thinking.Â
I knew if he touched me just a little more, the pain would ebb. I knew it. I didnât want to give in, but maybe it wouldnât be so bad if I got to taste him⊠just once. Maybe heâd be able to forgive me for just one kiss.
I heard him chuckle as I chased more contact. He was breathing hard, wanting more too.
He swung me up into his strong arms, bridal style, and I pressed my face into his neck while he carried me the last several feet to my room. If my brain hadnât been so hazy, I would have marveled at how easily heâd lifted me, how easily he could carry me.
As soon as my door closed behind us, Logan set me back on the ground and buried his face in my neck, my back pressed against the wood. I had my arms around his shoulders still, fingers buried in his hair while he mouthed his way up to my ear.
âSay you want this, sweetheart,â Logan purred. I had one leg up around his hip, giving him room to press himself into me between open mouth kisses on my skin. My hips rolled into him of their own accord.
 I felt like I couldnât bring enough air into my lungs, but somehow, I managed to speak.
âNo,â My voice was torn, and my face wet. It felt like someone else had pulled the word from my chest, someone so far away from the heat of my room.Â
I didnât register the way his face contorted in confusion.
âSweetheart,â It was his turn to whine. Annoyed at the thought Iâd deny him. I knew the pollen was surely in his system still, making him want me as badly as I wanted him.Â
Which was the only reason I still tried to resist.
âDidnât wantâŠâ I panted, too many sensations running through me. âNot like this,â My arms made no move to push him away from me but my body betrayed my lungs as my leg shifted, trying to pull him closer. With him close like this, at least the ache wasnât getting any worse.
âLike how then?â Logan asked. His hips bucked up into me and I felt the ache in waves as his body teased mine with the promise of release.Â
Oh god, release.
I could only shake my head as I cried because I wanted things to be different. I wanted this to matter, wanted it to mean he liked me. But it was nothing other than a need we hadnât asked for because of a mission that went weird, and that broke my heart.
Logan cursed to himself, kissing at the tears on my cheek.
âItâs ok pretty girl, it doesnât have to mean anything, just⊠just let me help you, alright?â His voice betrayed an ache I didnât expect in him. The kind of ache you couldnât mask and you couldnât fabricate.
âNo, no⊠I want it to mean something⊠I donât want - ahh - a pity fuck,â I said into his shoulder as my body tried to get more from him. I gasped each time his body bumped into mine while he held me against the door. Just being near him like this seemed to clear my head some though and I knew I should let my pride go.Â
That we both needed this.Â
That the only way out was through.
âItâs not pity,â Logan growled against my throat, something angry, something hurting.Â
I couldnât respond as I felt a new wave of pain and wanting crash through me, pulling a low whimper from my chest. What we were doing simply wasnât enough. We were knocking at the door maybe, but we needed to step into the home beyond the threshold.
We couldnât get out if we didnât go through.
âI need you to tell me you want this,â Logan groaned, his mouth against my jaw. Begging, hardly restrained. A gentleman even when dosed with sex pollen.Â
My chest ached for him.
âWonât you hate me tomorrow?â I squeezed my eyes shut as he adjusted his grip on me, his hand was so warm on my thigh as he helped balance me.
âI could never hate you, sweet girl,â He said against my cheek, kissing a few more tears from my fevered skin.Â
I nodded finally.Â
I felt him grin against my cheek before he added, âI need to hear you say it, baby,â I could hear the same smile in his voice.
âI want⊠Want you,â It somehow still felt like a betrayal to admit it and as the moment drew on for a heartbeat too long, I thought for sure that he had realized he didnât want me. That this had all been some elaborate ruse. My eyes were squeezed so tightly shut that I missed the way his face broke open into a pure joy smile.
I felt more tears in my eyes at what I thought was rejection.Â
âI need you,â I pressed again, sure that if he didnât speak, didnât keep touching me, didnât fuck me, I was going to die. I opened my eyes and saw his smile and my chest thawed at the happiness he showed me. I wasnât sure Iâd ever seen him smile like that before.
Loganâs hands squeezed my hips, pulling me tight against him again so that I could feel how hard his cock was straining in his suit.
âI need you too, sweetheart,â I felt his smile against my neck before he finally, finally, covered my mouth with his.
It was like wind after rain.
Something soft that whispers about tomorrows that are brighter and hurt less.
His mouth did not cool my blood completely, but suddenly, the pain was receding. I twisted my hands in his hair, holding him to me, daring him to try to pull away. But Loganâs hands were making their way into my suit, pulling zippers and searching for skin.Â
He had no plans to leave me. Thank god.
âYou taste so good,â He purred, pulling away to look at my face. I was sure I looked a mess, but I had no willpower left to be embarrassed about it. His eyes were glittering with mirth and heat and something my brain wanted to believe in.
âYou do too,â I panted. I didnât remember him getting the top half of my suit off, but he was tugging the rest down my hips. When did my feet end up back on the floor?
I was wearing an undershirt and a pair of close fitting shorts under the leather suit and Logan growled at the next set of barriers.
âToo many layers,â He grumbled. I pulled him back to where I could kiss him and he seemed happy enough to lick his way into my mouth while his hand stumbled blindly along my stomach in search of the waistband of my shorts.
I mewled when his fingers brushed the skin of my hip, having found their way inside. Logan chuckled against my mouth as he glanced down to make sure he was where he thought he was.
âBed,â I commanded, brain short circuiting at the mere thought of what was to come. His hands, one still in my shorts, moved to scoop me off my feet. Both of those wide, warm palms of his squeezing at my ass as he pulled my legs around his hips. I moaned again, surprised at the heat of him pressed into my ache, and also turned on by the very fact he could lift me so effortlessly.
âWanted to do this for so long,â Logan murmured into my throat.
âYeah?â Curiosity more than disbelief for once.
âYeah, pretty girl,â He was all but purring, kissing any skin close enough to reach as he moved us deeper into my room, aiming for the bed, but not really looking.
âHow long?â I wondered out loud. Surely it couldnât be that long, but my brain was running at about 1% cognition so I didnât bother thinking too hard about what I was asking.
âSince that time you subbed for my class,â He said without missing a single beat. He groaned at the memory. âYou were wearing a dress with little flowers on it. It stopped right at your knees and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to get under that skirt,â He pulled me tighter against him, cursing at the sensation while I gasped against his shoulder.
I felt blood rush to my ears at his confession, as I hadnât subbed for him in months, but I didnât get to revel in it long because weâd finally made it to my bed. Logan and I toppled over onto the unmade mess Iâd left my bed in that morning.Â
âFuck, I need you in my mouth,â Logan moved off of me so that he could kneel on the floor between my legs. âYou going to let me taste you?â I nodded happily and he gave me a sharp-toothed grin that made me shiver.Â
He easily pulled off my shorts and underwear and as soon as I was exposed to him I felt the ache rear its head again. Like hot coals dropped into my pelvis, everything was concentrated and too hot.
âLogan, please,â I whimpered. âHurts again,â He wasted no more time and lunged headfirst into my open legs. I almost screamed at the sensation of his tongue moving up to my clit. It was too good, pure honey, and yet, entirely not enough. I reached down and got both of my hands into his hair, tugging him closer, unable to stop myself from chasing the high that was nowhere near close enough yet, by rubbing myself against his face.
Luckily, he didnât seem to mind.
Logan moaned against me as he hoisted one of my legs over his shoulder. His free hand moved up my stomach, pushing its way under my shirt until he met with one final barrier, my sports bra. He grumbled vaguely, doubling down on his efforts with his mouth on my core. The lewd noise of him devouring me filled the room. If the pollen wasnât clouding my head, I knew Iâd be embarrassed, but he sounded like he was eating his favorite meal, slurping and sucking and making me see stars in a way I could only have dreamed about.
I felt his callouses slide under my bra, up through the valley between my breasts. He pulled the fabric up away from me and with a turn of his wrist, his claws sprang free just long enough to slice through the fabric that had dared hide my chest from him.
I gasped, startled, but also my core clenched at the show of force. Logan chuckled at my sharp intake of breath.
Logan made a noise low in his throat that was somewhere between a growl and whimper before he moved to explore this newly exposed skin. My fingers flexed against his scalp as his tongue brought first one, then the other, nipple to a hard peak.
My hands were beginning to shake as I clenched them tighter, pulling at his scalp. My body couldnât focus on anything for very long, instead it simply demanded more, more, more.
âFuck baby, you trying to pull my head off?â He teased, mindful not to leave me wanting while he spoke. He pressed his thumb against my clit and it shot electricity up my spine. I tried to shove his face back where I needed him, but he resisted me easily. I whined unhappily.
He pulled my hands from his hair so he could sit back on his heels. Logan seemed distracted as he ran his fingers through my sopping core again and I jumped and whined at each pass. He just continued to toy with me and I mewled.
âNeed you,â I got out. I was breathing like I was worried Iâd be pulled underwater at any second, trying to get as much air into my lungs as I could before the air got taken away.
âI know, baby, need you too,â He began to work his way out of his suit, but he kept getting distracted by my leg over his shoulder, my hands reaching for him, and his incessant urge to lean back in and run his tongue through my folds again and again and again.
As if just a single taste could sustain him.
The way we were sitting prevented me from seeing more than a flash of nudity before he settled again with his knees on the floor. Logan went back to his assault on my clit, but now he was teasing me with one of his thick fingers too. I groaned loudly when I saw his hips buck into the edge of my mattress. Simply knowing he was getting off with his tongue in me made the coil in my pelvis wind tight.
âMore,â I demanded, feeling my orgasm finally building as he focused his tongue on my clit. âLogan, âm getting close,âÂ
âGood,â Logan responded with his mouth still against me. âCum for me, wanna taste you, dreamed about what you taste like,â I felt his finger press slowly into me, his tongue still working my clit, and I bucked my hips up as he stopped to look at what he was doing.
âLogan,â I complained. I felt his finger slide in farther and we both cursed at the feeling of my walls gripping him. I had never been so desperate for friction in my entire life.
âSo tight, so perfect for me,â Logan murmured. I just nodded as he worked another finger in with the first and I arched off the bed, chasing my high. I felt his free hand press on my hip to keep me here on earth with him as he pumped those two wicked fingers in and out, licking at my clit all the while, as though it were his favorite brand of lollipop.
I couldnât warn him before I actually came.
My ears were ringing as my body burst into a million pinpricks of light. Nothing else mattered as the waves came up and broke over me, Logan pushing me far past where I would have stopped had I been alone. When my pieces resettled into a sentient being I got only a few moments of clarity before the pollen pulled me back under.
But in those few moments, I saw how much love and affection Logan had in his eyes as he looked up at me from between my legs. He looked like there was nowhere else in the world heâd rather be.
âHow was that?â Logan asked with the sort of grin that told me he knew exactly how that was.
âHow are you not as horny as I am?â I complained. With a chuckle he kissed the inside of my thigh and then kissed his way up to my throat. My legs instinctively circled his hips, ready for more of him. I felt the heat of his length slide along my ass as I held him to me.
âHank gave me something to take the edge off, some sedative,â Logan admitted dismissively. âSaid he didnât want me hurting anyone before we got ourselves sorted out,âÂ
âOh,â I felt his teeth teasing the soft skin below my ear and I wiggled a bit because it tickled.
âBut itâs wearing off fast,â he added cheerfully. âSo I hope youâre ready for another,âÂ
âGod yes. Please,â I whined at the thought of another orgasm. The first one had done wonders for the fire in my blood, but it wasnât gone by any means. My bones were still feeling too sharp any time he stopped touching me.
Logan chuckled at my eagerness, but kissed me anyway. I happily parted my lips for him as he deepened the kiss. I felt his hand, warm on my hip, as he adjusted me so he could slot himself better between my thighs as our tongues took turns tasting each other.Â
We both groaned when his dick slid past my clit the first time. Another pass and we became creatures of feeling and nothing more.Â
Funny how you could dream of something and once you face the reality of it, it is so different. No matter what you think you know of the matter, you're so deliciously wrong.Â
When Logan finally pressed his tip into me, I swear the world ended. Inch by inch he filled that emptiness inside of me, pushing out any lingering thoughts of him not wanting me.Â
My fingers dug into his skin and he groaned lowly into my neck.Â
âFuck,â he growled. âRelax for me, baby,â
âCanât,â I forced the word out as my whole body tensed up. It felt amazing to be filled, but the intrusion was also new to me. My muscles didnât know what to do with him, but they loved the feel of him simply being there, a pleasant burn, a wondrous sort of ache.
âBreathe,â he panted. âI can't move with you squeezing me so tight,âÂ
âSorry,â I had my eyes squeezed shut, trying to focus on letting my body adjust to him. He was bigger than anything I'd even used myself and I had no idea how he'd managed to fit.Â
âNothing to be sorry for,â I felt Logan's hand rubbing circles on my hip. âJust take a deep breath for me, sweetheart,â the pet name made me whimper as the pollen demanded friction I wasn't getting.Â
A shaky breath escaped me. Then another.Â
âThat's it, keep breathing for me, just like that,â Logan praised me and I felt my face flame in pleasure. I could feel my muscles finally loosen as he pressed gentle kisses along my throat. âI'm gonna move now,â he warned. I nodded quickly, eyes still shut.Â
He pulled his hips back slowly, then pressed himself back in, this time somehow farther into me than he was before. My head felt hazy as he did it again. And again. And again. I could only let out little groans of pleasure as he split me apart.
âLook at me, baby,â Logan had a hand on my face again, holding me so he could look into my eyes when I finally opened them. âDoing ok?âÂ
I nodded almost sleepily, feeling like every brain cell I'd ever grown was knocked out of my skull.Â
âI need you to say it, pretty girl,â he whispered, a gentle kiss to the side of my mouth. The pet name made me clench around him and he cursed to himself at the feeling.Â
âI'm good,â I managed, wondering if I should pick a pet name for him too. But he seemed to be hogging them all.Â
âThat's my girl,â Logan kissed my mouth again and I could taste his grin.Â
Pretty quickly it became clear his sedative had worn off completely.Â
The wild look from the jet came back to his eyes as he hoisted my legs up higher in his waist, drilling down into me as I continued to whimper. It felt like he was trying to mold me to the shape of him, so that no other dick would ever fit me quite right.Â
I wouldn't mind if that were true.Â
When his thumb pressed on my clit again I bucked up into him, arching off the bed. Logan chuckled and rubbed tight circles on the nub until I was crying from the stimulation.Â
âNeed you to come for me again, sweetheart,âÂ
âTrying to,â I huffed out, blinded by how easy it seemed for him to lift my hips and reposition me. I knew I weighed more than he did, it came up as a joke once and never left me alone. But he didn't seem to notice or care.Â
âCome on, baby, give it to me,â he begged, his other hand, the one not preoccupied with my clit, moved to tug at one of my nipples. My fingers dug into his biceps as the orgasm wound itself tight around my pelvis. I swear I could feel my nails digging in, past his skin, into the meat of him. âFuck - give it to me,â
If he noticed how far my nails dug into him, he didnât care, redoubling his efforts with the movement of his hips against mine.
âAlmost, almost,â I chanted. âAlmost,â it was just babbling now but he understood.Â
It felt like heaven having something so large to clench around as the orgasm snapped through me. Doubly so when Logan's hips jerked a moment after my tremors ended and he filled me in a new way.Â
For a brilliant moment, the pain was entirely gone.
We lay panting, trying to catch the breath weâd stolen from each other. Logan chuckled, but it turned into a growl as he pulled himself out of me. I couldnât help but gasp at the loss of him.
âYou got another one for me?â Logan asked, pressing open mouth kisses along my neck and chest. I closed my eyes, trying to sear this memory into my brain so I could look back at the feeling of it, not just the knowledge that it had happened.
âYeah,â I finally sighed, a contented noise, as the warmth that lingered in me spread out again and began to smolder. The pollen really must take a while to get out of oneâs system⊠but I found that I didnât really mind. âJust tired is all,âÂ
âPoor baby,â Logan teased. âCome âere,â He pulled me around so that he was behind me.
âLogan?â I questioned.Â
âJust let me take care of you,â He purred, nibbling his way across my shoulder to my ear. âOr donât you trust me?â
âI trust you,â I said, confused as to what trust had to do with it. I trusted him with most things, if not everything outside of this room. So why not with this thing, inside the room?Â
âGood, now just relax and let me take care of my pretty girl,â he nipped at my earlobe as my face grew warm at his affections. This pollen was cruel if it made him so sweet only to take it away. But I didnât find myself wanting to do anything I wouldnât normally want to do, so maybeâŠjust maybeâŠ
âOk,â I moved my head to catch his lips, and for a moment that distracted him from whatever it was he was originally planning when he got us situated on our sides, spooning, his front warm against my back.
When his calloused fingers bit into the meat of my thigh and lifted my leg up and and back to rest it over his, it quickly became clear what his plan was.
Logan shifted a bit so he could actually line himself up with me, but sank into me, deeper somehow, than ever before. I let out a pathetic noise at the sensation of being filled from this new angle.Â
âShh, shh,â Logan hushed me, placing softer kisses on my exposed and sweaty skin. âJust like before, sweetheart, breathe,â It took less attempts to fill my lungs this time, my muscles relaxing enough to let him push and pull himself through me with practiced ease.
âFeels good,â I told him, wanting him to know I was still enjoying this.
âGood, baby,â I felt him smile against my neck. âFuck, youâre so tight,â When he rocked his hips forward, I couldnât help but moan instead of respond.
Logan slid his other arm beneath me, the muscles fitting perfectly into the curve of my natural waist. Iâd have thought my stomach would be off putting to him, but here he was fondling it, fondling me, while also sliding so deep inside of me that I was surprised I was still breathing.
Somehow, the next orgasm felt deeper, stronger, and snuck up on me too.
I came with a cry, the sound a mix of surprise and overwhelming pleasure.
âGonna cum again,â Logan warned me. âWith you milking me like that, canâtâŠcanât help myself,â he clarified as though Iâd asked or he was embarrassed.
âPlease,â I begged, eyes wet. When I moaned, the drag of his cock through my folds beginning to overstimulate me, Logan bucked his hips harder once.
âMake that noise again,â he begged in return. I was happy enough to oblige. The next moan fed into his low roar as he spilled himself for the second time into my waiting heat.
When he made to pull himself out again, I whined and scooted back against him.
âDonât leave me yet,â I mumbled, half asleep suddenly.
âIâm not going anywhere, pretty girl,â His arms wrapped around me then and he held me close to his chest, still buried to the hilt inside me. I sighed happily.
âWhen you pulled out last time, the pain came back right away,â I told him.
âOh, is that why?â He asked skeptically.Â
âAnd it feels good,â I mumbled, my eyes closing. âLike you inside me,â But right as I was about to fall asleep, a shot went through me. Like static pains as your limbs wake up, having been asleep too long.
I felt my heart rate pick back up and my breathing came out harder.
âBack already?â Logan mused.
âI guess so,â I mourned the loss of rest, but was not opposed to more shenanigans with the man in my bed. Iâd thought if he stayed inside me the pollen would wait.
âLucky for you, I can go all night, pollen or not.â Logan bragged. I didnât need to have my eyes open to know exactly how pleased with himself his smirk would be.
âEven with that sedative?â I smirked, but I whined as Logan pulled himself out of me. He just readjusted us so that I was flat on my back and he was looking down at me. He looked like heaven resting his weight on his elbows next to my head. He was so close, he smelled so good, and for at least this one moment, he was entirely mine.
âSweetheart, thatâs been out of my system for ages,â He leaned down to cover my mouth with his and I couldnât help but reach up and tangle my fists in his hair. He chuckled against my tongue when I pulled to keep him close to me.
âOh,â I said, rather shyly.Â
âWhy? Have I not been giving it to you hard enough?â Loganâs voice was mostly teasing, but he moved to take my bottom lip between his teeth. He tugged enough that it pulled a gasp from my chest, before he let go.
âYou saying you canât go harder?â I wasnât sure why I pushed him, and I could blame the pollen⊠or I could blame all the romance novels Iâd read where every sex scene was dotted with harder, harder, harder!
âOh honey, be careful,â Logan warned, mirth and something fiery in his eyesâŠanimalistic joy at the thought of harder.
âOh honey,â I mocked him. âI dare you,â I used the same mocking tone and was not surprised when he growled and descended on me like a lion on a baby gazelle.Â
All teeth and tongue and primal heat.
I lost count of the orgasms he pulled from me. All I knew was that I would never be able to face him if he decided that this meant nothing after all because I would never stop craving him. Having had a taste of Logan, even if it had been coerced by a silly plant, I knew Iâd never crave anything else.
âYou still with me, pretty?â Loganâs voice made me open my eyes again.
âMhmm,â I murmured, reaching out to get my arms around his neck. I pulled him into me, just hugging him to me like he was the teddy bear I needed to fall asleep. He pressed his forehead into mine. I hummed, happy to have him in my arms. He pressed a few chaste kisses to my lips, gentle and sweet.Â
âDo you need another?â Loganâs voice was slightly worried but I just shook my head. The feeling of the pollen clouding my head, clogging my veins⊠that feeling that my bones were too sharp⊠was entirely gone now. I was left to bask in the afterglow and tiredness of what weâd done.
âDo you, handsome?â The pet name tasted funny but I figured I could go one more round if he needed to. After all, it would only be fair.
âI was good two orgasms ago,â Logan admitted. I clicked my tongue, giving him a scandalized look.
âWhat?â I asked, sounding a bit like I thought he was lying.
âYeah, the pollen was out of my head probably two ago,â He kissed the tip of my nose as I wrinkled it at him.
âWhy didnât you say anything?âÂ
âDidnât want to cut the fun short,â Logan smirked. âPlus, you still smelled wrong,âÂ
âOh thanks,â I rolled my eyes, feeling more like myself than I had in what feels like weeks.
âYou smell much better without that sickly sweet pollen on you,â Logan assured me. He kissed the edge of my mouth, asking permission to kiss me properly. I moved to catch his lips and he purred against me. âYou taste better without it too,âÂ
âMmm,â I made a noise of agreement because the tiredness was back.
âIâm going to go get cleaned up, then Iâll be back to clean you up, ok sweetheart?â Logan asked, his knuckles running along my side. I nodded, feeling sleep coming for me. The last thing I heard was Logan chuckle as he moved across the room to my ensuite.
I was face down, when Logan returned. Most of my bedding had been tossed aside at one point or another, the pillows were gone and all that remained were the sheets. The fitted sheet had popped off one corner and the other sheet was only enough to cover my nudity, but it was cold and damp in far too many spots to be any sort of comfortable.
âHow ya feeling, love?â Logan asked, crouching down next to where my head was. He wasnât wearing a shirt, but it was clear heâd showered since Iâd seen him last. I was the wrong way round on my bed, arms curled into my naked chest because I was cold.
âSticky⊠sore⊠cold,â I mumbled. âAnd tired, but I really want a shower,âÂ
âCome on,â He moved to help me up and I grumbled the entire time. Logan just chuckled as he helped me into the bathroom. âWant help showering?â
âNo, Iâm ok,â I told him. Something about how gently he was speaking kept me from making any snide comments that may have normally slipped free. I wondered if he was being nice because he was a gentleman, or if it was because he genuinely cared. I wondered if it could maybe be a bit of both.
He reached to start the shower anyway.
âDo you want me to be here when you get out?â Loganâs voice almost hid his fear of rejection.
âDo you want to be?â I countered him, unsure if he should want to remain in my space after⊠all that.
âOf course,â He turned to place a gentle kiss on my forehead and I leaned into him.
âPlease be here when I get out,â I said, catching his eye. He nodded as I got into the waiting warm water.
As I stood in the shower, my brain finally clear, I couldnât help but wonder what came next.Â
Would Logan want to date me after all this? Would he want to just fuck? Would he want anything to do with me at all?Â
Would he remember saying he wanted me?
Instead of spiraling, I forced myself to focus on washing the sweat off my skin. I found several spots marked with Loganâs teeth, all of which were bruised or bruising. I felt my face get the sort of warm that had nothing to do with the temperature of the water running down my back.
I washed my hair, I washed my skin. I washed the evidence of fucking from between my legs. Something in me mourned the loss, if only because with the mess gone, there was less evidence that, even for a moment, heâd wanted me like that.
Eventually, I turned the shower off and wrapped myself in my towel, which was damp since someone had already used it.
âLogan!â I grumbled loudly. âYou got my towel all wet!â It didnât really matter but I was hoping heâd still be there for me to be grumpy with and it was easier than asking if he was there.
Logan appeared in the bathroom doorway, shirtless still, and wearing a pair of my sweatpants that were comically loose around his hips, even though he had the strings pulled tight.
âSorry, sweetheart,â He moved away for a moment and came back with my spare towel. âI found this one while I looked for sheets,âÂ
âSheets?â I took the towel from him and turned around as though there was any need for modesty. I put the new towel around my shoulders before letting the damp one fall, then readjusted so the fresh towel was around me properly.
âI figured while you got cleaned up, Iâd work on the mess we made of your bed,â Loganâs smirk was cheeky and proud. It made my skin flame.
âOh, well thank you for that,â I said. I went through the motions of my normal after shower routine. Brushing my hair, lotioning my face, putting product in my hair⊠distinctly aware that Logan was watching me from his spot leaning against the doorframe.Â
I was brushing my teeth when Logan spoke again.
âI think we should talk about it,â He said with that tone he used on students when they were clearly lying to him. I wondered why he used that tone now, as I wasnât saying anything. How could I be lying?
âWhat about it?â I asked, finishing up. I just needed to dry the rest of me and put some pjs on. I paused when I turned and Logan was still blocking the doorway with his shirtless chest.
âAre you good? I didnât hurt you⊠did I?â Something vulnerable made its way into his eyes before he could stop it.
âI mean, you bit me in the ass, that stings a little bit,â I tried to joke. When he didnât laugh, I shrugged. âYou didnât hurt me, but⊠It was a lot, I wonât lie.â
âIt was a lot for me too.â He agreed. âIâd been hoping to ask you out before sleeping with you, but it seems we didnât get much of a choice,â I choked on my own throat at his confession.
âYou wanted to ask me out?â I fumbled with that idea, even after everything. No one asked me out, especially not when they meant to actually follow through. Logan nodded.
âIâd love to take you out sometimes, if you want,â He watched me with those hazel eyes and I felt a strange mix of fear and warmth at the way his face softened. âBut we can talk about that later too,âÂ
âIâd never had sex before,â I blurted out suddenly. Logan froze. âItâs fine, and I didnât really think it mattered to me, but⊠but it feels like I should say something,âÂ
âWell fuck,â He cursed. âThatâs not how I would have envisioned it,âÂ
âCanât say I ever really envisioned it at all,â I told him, trying to make it sound like a joke.Â
His brow furrowed.
âWhy not?â
âPeople never exactly lined up to take me out or sleep with me, and I made my peace with that,â I stepped closer to him and he watched until I shooed him from the door. âLet me get some undies on,âÂ
âI wouldnât mind if you left them off,â Logan smirked, enjoying the way my skin darkened with a blush.
âOh shush,â I shot over my shoulder at him while I dug out some underwear and my pjs. I picked the prettiest underwear I had, which honestly were still pretty much granny panties, but they were a cute color and design at least. And for pjs, I picked something simple, a tank and shorts.
âAre you avoiding looking at me, pretty girl?â Logan hummed from close behind me. I shivered at his sordid tone.Â
âItâs not my fault youâve decided to stay half naked and gorgeous,â I grumbled, pulling on my clothes. I felt somewhat better with clothes on, but also, it felt weird after being naked for so long.
âCanât promise to change either of those things anytime soon,â When he pressed a small kiss to my shoulder, I jumped. âSorry,â he purred, no longer advancing.Â
âI canât believe you still want to touch me after all that,â I said softly. There was no anger in it. No malice. Just surprise.
âSweetheart, Iâd fuck you again right now if you asked me to,â The heat of his words tore through me like a stray bullet.
âI donât think I could handle that just now,â I forced a smile thinking about how raw I felt inside and out. âThanks though,âÂ
âThis ok?â Logan asked, taking my hand and turning me around. He set my palm against his sternum and his hands found new purchase, one on my hip, the other on my cheek. I nodded against his palm. âI want to make sure youâre really ok,âÂ
âI donât know what you expect me to say,â I felt my throat closing on unexpected tears. I frowned at myself. âWhy do I want to cry?âÂ
âGo ahead and cry, baby,â Logan said softly in return. âIf thatâs what you need,âÂ
âBut Iâm not sad,â I mumbled as tears, hot and fat, rolled down my cheeks. âWhat the heck,â This was more to myself and the tears streaming down my face. I tried to wipe them with my bare hand and it really only smeared them along my cheeks. Logan kissed my forehead and led me to my bed.
âItâs a lot, and new, and not exactly normal.â Logan assured me.
âWhat, your first time wasnât with your crush dosed up on sex pollen?â I joked through the tears. I pulled a handful of tissues from the box that miraculously had remained unscathed on my nightstand and wiped my face with a pair of them. My lamp was in an entirely different spot. I guessed weâd knocked it over and Logan had righted it when he remade the bed.
âThe first time with my crush might have been like that,â He teased back and I blushed.
âYou saying you have a crush on me?âÂ
âMaybe,â His smirk was boyish and if I didnât know any better, I thought maybe his cheeks were a little bit pinker than they were before.
I crawled into the bed and watched Logan stand there in my sweatpants.Â
âWill you join me?â I asked carefully. I wiped at my face again and was happy to find that the tears were leaving as fast as they had come.
âWas just thinking about sneaking down to the kitchen,â Logan gave me a smile. âUnless youâve got something else tasty hiding in here somewhere,â A sudden grumble came from my stomach as I realized I was starving.Â
âI donât know what you mean by âsomething elseâ tasty, but Iâve got a stash of snacks,â I stood again and went to my closet, kneeling down to pull out one of those sort of flimsy storage ottomans you get at big box stores. Logan followed me and chuckled.
âI mean other than you, sweetheart,â He shook his head when I scoffed. âYou know, you are terribly hard to flirt with,âÂ
âDo you want my snacks or to tease me?â I complained, leaning back so he could see my stash. I had a little bit of a lot of things in the ottoman. Everything from beef jerky and granola bars, to poptarts, to candy of all kinds.
Logan let out a low whistle.Â
âI wondered how you always seemed to have the good snacks,âÂ
âWell Scott steals anything in the kitchen. That man is a menace to poptarts. Plus Rouge specifically takes any candy Iâve ever left in there, and I have no proof, but Iâm pretty sure Ororo steals all the salty snacks, so I had to improvise if I wanted anything to be where I left it.â I sat crossed legged and pulled out a granola bar, opening it right there and taking a bite. âGod, I donât think Iâve been this hungry in my life.âÂ
âItâs probably a side effect of the pollen⊠takes a lot out of you,â Logan joined me on the floor, our legs touching while we faced the ottoman and the bottom half of my clothes over it. Logan grabbed a pack of beef jerky and I nodded when he held it up to ask if he could eat it.
I opened a pack of pop tarts next while Logan watched me break it into pieces and pop them into my mouth one by one.Â
âWhat?â I chuckled as he absently chewed on his snack while staring at me with such adoration in his eyes it made my stomach flip. Which was surprisingly easy to handle on my current diet of poptarts and sugar.
âYouâre pretty,â He told me and looked away only long enough to fish another chunk of jerky out of his bag. The bit he pulled out was one of the bigger ones and he held it out to me. âPretty girls need protein too,âÂ
âYouâre pretty,â I snorted, pretending it was an insult. But I took the jerky from him anyway and tore it in half with my teeth. I caught Logan swallow hard at the sight and my cheeks grew warm yet again.Â
âI mean it, you know,â He added. âIâve been around for a long time and youâre my favorite thing to look at,â I smiled at that. It was so much better feeling than the normal things he said that I didnât believe.Â
âYouâre my favorite thing to look at too,â I told him, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. He moved to press his mouth into mine, a chaste kiss around sugared and salted lips. I chuckled, giddy, when he pulled away. Maybe I could believe him.
In the quiet darkness of my closet, watching him sift through my snack ottoman, it felt like it would be so easy to believe him. To believe that he might love me.
âI love you,â I told him suddenly. He paused with his own pack of pop tarts in his hand.
âI love you too, sweetheart,â Loganâs grin was soft and so full of love. For once I didnât look away because I figured if I witnessed it enough I would believe it. I smiled as I watched him tear into his next snack. Maybe I should stop fighting my feelings and just believe him.
It felt so easy to just give into it.
So, I think I will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part One
[Logan List]
[Masterlist]
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett smut#sex pollen#james howlett logan#logan#smut#james logan howlett#james logan howlett x reader#logan 2017#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x female reader#logan smut#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan howlett x you#old man logan#old man logan x reader#the wolverine#lackofpamcakes#He Brings Me Flowers (Logan)#imtherain
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Sex Positive - Charles Leclerc
Words: 2,470 Summary: Y/N goes on a podcast to talk about one thing and one thing only, sex. Note(s): NSFW just because this is just all sex talk, no actual sex, but it is the main topic of discussion. Part SMAU
Masterlist | Support Me!
âY/N Y/L/Nâ
She smiles at the sound of her name, adjusting her headphones a bit until they finally seem to sit snug on her head.
âWelcome to the sex positive podcast.â
âThank you for having me!â
âThank you for coming on!â Elaine says. âWhen I reached out, I had hoped you would come on, but was shocked when you said yes.â
âI had to come on. Weâve known each other now for like two years?â Elaine nods at her words. âAnd yet despite that and this podcast doing so well, which by the way congrats on the new milestone. 250k is insane, and your profession weâve never once talked about sex.â
âWe have not.â Elaine laughs. âProbably because we also run into each other at events and dinners. Not the best place for me to ask how you feel about sex.â
âWell, I should tell you, I am coming on here to actually talk about how much I hate sex.â She says, ending her sentence with an eye roll, as she adjusts how sheâs sitting, not even noticing her cardigan slip.
âOh, yeah.â Elaine nods. âYou hate sex.â She then nods to her left shoulder and her eyes drop and she lets out a laugh, seeing the love bites now exposed from the cardigan slipping.
âLike I said, I hate it.â She laughs.
âHow is your relationship with sex? I mean, what has your experience been with it?â
She considers for a moment, âIâd say I have a good relationship with sex. It was never a topic that was shied away from when I was younger. My parents both gave me the talk, they made sure that I felt safe and comfortable to talk to them about it. They also never shied away from talking about how they had sex before they were adults, so if I did, they understood. All they asked was that I was safe.â
âAnd you think thatâs helped?â
âOf course.â She nods. âI mean, I was sixteen when I had sex for the first time. Which was before all my friends and after that I was the one my girl friends came to for condoms and advice.â
âWas it good?â
She makes a face, âI mean, I think it was as good as two sixteen-year-olds having sex for the first time can be. A little awkward, some fumbling, finishing so quick.â
Elaine laughs, âYâknow that probably is as good as it can get.â
âYeah.â She laughs.
âWere you like okay, I had sex this first time, Iâve experienced it, Iâm good, or was it like me where you wanted to explore more.â
âOh, I wanted to explore more. I didnât have sex again for, I think like another two years. But I did so much self exploring. Just trying to see what I liked, what I was interested in, what I wasnât interested in.â
âPorn?â
âYes, there was quite a large amount of porn being watched. I read a lot of adult novels, guides, blogs, really just anything I could get my hands on.â
Elaine nods, tucking a leg underneath herself as she adjusts the microphone to be a little closer. âAnd this is something Iâm curious about, how do you feel about porn? Itâs something a lot of people are divided on, a lot of women especially.â
âI like porn. I enjoy it. Either just watching for pleasure or for research.â And she puts the last word in air quotes. âAnd please people listening or watching, if you see something you like in porn or are interested in, and this applies if you are reading something as well, look it up, read some guides and blog posts about it before doing it yourself. Just be safe.â
âOh, please be safe. We have our own blog where we talk about different kinks, positions, various things and I urge you, along with everyone else who works on this podcast, to be safe with yourself and others.â Elaine says, addressing the camera before looking back at her. âSo, you like porn.â
âYes. Obviously not all porn is good, there are bad studios, there are overdone tropes, issues with the industry itself with it continuing to promote certain things because it earns them so much money. But I do enjoy it. Itâs an industry that is always going to get criticized and hated and it deserves some of those criticisms without a doubt.â
âAs a sex therapist, I do try to veer my clients away from porn, most of the time. And thatâs mainly due to the acting of it. But it has its place in helping you learn and educate yourself. My issue is when people only look at porn and donât look into things further.â
âYeah, a hundred percent. Itâs so important to not just take away things from porn but to take things away and expand on what you saw.â She nods.
âAnd of course I have to ask, what do you yourself like to watch in porn?â
âHmm.â She thinks. âI think it depends on my mood. I think what I normally go for is something a little more rough. Iâve never really enjoyed watching people have like slow, gentle sex, not unless thereâs something else there like overstimulation.â
âSo, you like it rough?â Elaine asks.
She laughs, âYes. It wasnât something I had ever tried out before though until my current partner.â
âReally?â
She nods, âReally! I can admit that with my current partner, Charles, is where Iâve done a lot of exploring with someone else sexually. Weâve tried out many things.â
âAnything you guys didnât like?â
âWe donât care for titles or honorifics.â
âYou are crushing some dreams with that statement.â
âI know.â She laughs, well aware of the many tweets and things about wanting to call Charles daddy or sir. But it was just something that didnât work for them in bed. The most was sometimes as a tease, sheâd call him Mr. Leclerc and that was mainly to wind him up, not because the word itself was a turn on.
âWhat about things youâve both enjoyed?â
âOh, where to begin.â She teases, the both of them laughing. âRoleplay is one, bondage, edging, overstimulation. And I donât consider this sex, but it is something we both enjoy a lot, cock warming.â
âThat is quite the list.â
âOh, just the tip of the iceberg.â
âTalk me through some of it. Bondage?â
âYes. This was something we both had come into the relationship having never done before and wanting to do. We have the actual like rope you're supposed to use for when we do it, though sometimes we have used other things.â
Elaine shakes her head, grinning. âOf course you two have. I feel like if I see you two together, youâre always attached.â
âPretty much. We both enjoy touch and Charles, despite all the interest in his personal life and how much already is exposed to the public, doesn't mind holding my hand or hugging or kissing me while in public.â
âWas that a worry of yours?â Elaine asks.
âAbsolutely.â She nods, fingers interlacing. âI knew heâd at least, when I went to my first race, that heâd hold my hand, but I figured that might be it. And I didnât want to bring it up since me going to Baku was so last minute for the both of us.â
âIâve seen photos from that race and I would have never guessed that it was a last minute decision or that you two hadnât talked about that yet.â
âYeah, I got on a plane and was there by 11pm on Wednesday night, and the plane tickets had gotten bought maybe six hours before the plane took off. Charles had to send a photo of my ID to the front desk and had a spare key for me waiting since he had to be asleep already.â
âAnd then the next day, I mean you guys were very loved up.â
She grins, âwe very much were. I think Charles knew I was nervous. We hadnât officially been spotted together and heâs such a comforting person, very calming, so it was easy to not feel anxious with him holding me and pressing a kiss to my cheek every few minutes as yâknow a bunch of people were taking photos of me and Iâm being introduced to about a hundred people.â
âWhich is overwhelming to say the least.â
âSo overwhelming.â She nods.
âThough you mightâve liked that, since youâve brought up overstimulation a few times.â
Her hands come up to hide her face, laughing into them, before they fall back into her lap. âIâd apologize, but I like what I like.â
âSo itâs you being overstimulated.â
âOh, absolutely. I find it very enjoyable.â
âIâve never actually really talked about overstimulation, what is that you like about it? That you find to be enjoyable?â
âItâs the near constant feeling of too much, itâs so much pleasure just back to back, and everything depending on how you're doing it, can feel just like raw? And exposed? And you donât think you can orgasm one more time, you just canât again, but then you can and it feels at least in my experience just so good and then you do it again and again, and every time the pleasure of it just washing over you is even more and more and itâs the only thing you can focus on, everything else just fades away.â
âYou make me want to try it.â Elaine laughs.
â
Charlesâ head immediately perks up when he hears the hotel door open. âChĂ©rie! How was the podcast?â
She smiles, setting her bag down, before moving over to the couch where Charles is sitting and happily sitting in his lap before Charles can pull her down. âIt was good.â She finally says after kissing him.
He hums, âHow good?â
She thinks, playfully humming as her fingers run through his hair. âVery good. I think your fans will want to kill me and so will Ferrari.â
He frowns, arms tightening around her. âFerrari knows that you are allowed to do as youâd like. It is not like with,â He stops himself.
âI know, Charles.â She soothes. âBut, they will be upset with me considering me talking about my sex life is talking about your sex life.â
He huffs, obviously not liking it, but he hopes that the podcast will do well, be received well, so at least Ferrari will be forced to accept it because fans like it.
âDid you mention me?â
Her eyebrow raises, âNo. I want on a podcast to talk about my sex life so you obviously didnât come up.â
He pouts at the tease and she canât resist pressing a kiss to his pouty lips.
âYes, I mentioned you. Multiple times and by name.â
He hums, moving his hands under her cardigan and top. âWhat did you say?â
âThat weâve done a lot of things together. That we like certain things.â
When she had accepted the invite it was only after a long talk with Charles, one she had to force, to go over what she could and couldnât mention. Charles had been fine with her mentioning whatever she wanted. Uncaring that it would be out for the world to see, his colleagues, friends, and even family if for some reason they decided to click on it. He had stuck by that after their talk, though had asked her to keep most of the details of their roleplay and their love of rough sex to a minimum.
And it had been easy to not talk about what kind of roleplay they did and while rough sex had been mentioned twice, they were brief, just establishing her love of it.
âIt did make me want to roleplay our favorite thing again.â
His eyes light up at her words.
It wasnât often something they did, their favorite roleplay scenario, not when it required her to be in a certain headspace to really work, but she wants and craves it so much.
âYou want to be my innocent little girl?â His voice has a bit of rasp, his fingers resting on her back, stretching out.
âYes.â She breathes.
He leans forward, giving her a hungry kiss, his and her last chance to lose control, before pulling away. âGo get ready for me, bĂ©bĂ©. Iâll find a place to have dinner.â
---
#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula x reader#sins fics
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-AARON HOTCHNER HEADCANONS-
The promised hcs for our favourite hot dilf Aaron Hotchner đ€ I hope you guys like them, it's gonna be a little lengthy and I've divided them between Basic, SFW Dating and NSFW.. Minors please don't interact with the nsfw content.
âBasicâ
Hotch would be the type of guy who listens to classical music around the team, but once he's alone in his personal car, he has a whole collection of CDs in his glove box of his favourite bands and albums (The Beatles, etc.)
He'd also listen to audiobooks during long drives home. The genre can vary between the classics or just a light novel.
A huge overpacker. He packs the essentials during cases, but if the trip is personal, he packs almost everything â sunscreen, mosquito repellent, a map, extra batteries, a flashlight, etc. You'll never know if it might come in handy
Dad instincts are strong af, will know something is wrong before it happens
Wakes up at the crack of dawn. Became a habit after working so long in the BAU
Hotch is overall a light sleeper. Mostly because of emergencies or sudden calls from the BAU
The king of overworking. Before Haley died, he used to work so much that he got nosebleeds. He does it less now and spends more time with Jack than with paperwork.
Likes his coffee black with two teaspoons of sugar. He doesn't like it too sweet but isn't bitter either.
He most probably had a secret rockstar phase in his teens. Crazy shoulder-length hair, studded belts, band tees and EYELINER. Stopped after he became a junior in high school though.
Used to blame himself for failing to save the victims during his early years in the field. He tries to remember every person he failed to save in the past and compensate by saving more while being calm and tactful.
Spends a lot of time with Jack during the weekends. He's trying to make up for lost time after being so busy with his job than being a father. They would go on road trips, and theme parks and would do a whole lot just to see his son smile.
Hotch would unironically start drinking apple or pineapple juice after Jack just asked him to. Just for no reason at all.
He gets horrible migraines because of staying up late and not getting enough rest.
-SFW Dating-
When the two of you just started dating, he wasn't 100% sure of it because 1. your age gap (reader would be in her mid-20s) and 2. The fraternization rule in the Bureau.
The both of you kept the whole thing a secret for about four months until the team figured it out on a random Tuesday.
"I- I mean it was pretty obvious from how Hotch was hovering over you all the time and the ways his stoic face softens when he addresses you. Not to forget the way his pupils dilate-" "That's enough Reid."
When you were gonna meet Jack for the first time, you were quite nervous about it, but Aaron reassured you that he'd love you (and the little dude did).
Hotch would try to take you on dates, but it was kind of hard with your hectic schedules.
So it would usually be movie nights at his place along with some takeout dinner after putting Jack to bed.
It took Hotch a while to open up to you, but you were there to support him and he was worth the wait.
Picks you up for work and drives you home even if you told him that it was okay and you had your own car, he insisted on driving you home and seeing you get there safely.
Brings you coffee and something sweet from the cafe. It's his way of telling you he cares about you without the team teasing you after he goes into his office.
He would start to think irrationally after finding out you got hurt during a case. He wouldn't be able to think straight on the way to the hospital and blurted a mumbled 'I love you' while putting pressure onto your wound.
When you sleep over at his place, he loves seeing you wear his old college T-shirts.
Hotch thinks about Haley a lot and feels guilty for it, but you understand that she was his first love and he peppers you with soft kisses to apologize.
"I'm sorry, Sweetheart... I know I shouldn't be thinking about what could have been and focus on what is.. I'll do better, I promise.."
Calls you to his office sternly as if you were in trouble but in reality, he just wants you for himself in the office for a little while.
His heart clenched yet light when Jack asked him if you were going to be his new mommy.
Pet names would be rare when it comes to him. What really matters is when he calls you by your name. But the occasional 'Sweetheart' and 'Darling' might slip out.
He shows you his unserious side. It was a whole 180 for you and it made you fall for him even more. He's an adorable dork.
Even if the two of you are dating, there's a fine line between being together behind closed doors and pure professionalism. Hotch is still your superior and there wouldn't be any special treatment even if you were his significant other.
But when he realizes he gets too rough with you he will apologize in private after the case.
His love language is quality time, so he tries to be around you and Jack as much as he can.
Cheesy pickup lines to try and make you laugh during a hard day. Only in private though.
Knows what to do when you're on your period. He'll bring a heating pad, warm fuzzy blankets, your favourite snacks and painkillers.
NSFW UNDER THE CUT MINORS DNI!!!
-NSFW Dating-
âą The sex is incredible. Hotch knows all the right places to hit and how to give you a godly amount of orgasms.
âą He starts out slow, letting you get used to the stretch and how much he's filling you up. You can practically feel his cock in your throat from how full you feel.
âą Gentle feather-like kisses on your forehead, telling you how good you feel around him while starting to move his hips at a quicker pace.
âą From slow, gentle thrusts, it changes into something more primal and rough. As if he were lashing out all his frustrations from work into your tight, little pussy, trying to fuck you into next week.
âą And he does it well. He fucks you senseless until you're coming on his cock multiple times before he finishes and spills his cum into the condom he's wearing.
âą He just loves fucking you in the missionary position, because he sees how your face contorts in pleasure.
âą The first time the two of you slept together was at your place after a really stressful case and the two of you had a drink too many.
âą Obviously, Hotch was still a bit sober but you were out of it. He wouldn't do anything without your consent, but you had dragged him into your bedroom and things got heated.
âą Bruised your cervix one too many times. The two of you rarely have any sex but if you do, you go all out. He apologises with an amazing bath and breakfast in bed.
âą Amazing aftercare. He'll take care of you after the both of you are done, even if he's tired. He'd always clean you up, get you a glass of water and press soft kisses on your shoulders. Cuddling and whispered confessions under messy sheets.
âą Not a big fan of having sex in public spaces. He needs privacy when he's trying to fuck and pleasure you.
âą But he does know about the dirty fantasies you have about getting fucked on his desk. He's seen the books read and articles you look up. Not like you could've hidden it from him anyway.
âą He fulfills those fantasies to the best of his capabilities when no one's left in the office and it's just the two of you. He looks through the last of his files, calls you to his office and closes the door.
âą His tie was loose, sleeves rolled up, revealing his forearms. His hair was slightly dishevelled as if he ran his fingers through them multiple times.
âą Hotch makes you suck his cock until you're gagging, being a little rougher on you. Then he got you splayed on his desk, pushing your pencil skirt up and ripping your stockings by the crotch area.
âą When he noticed how wet you got, he smirked, moving the gussets of your panties to the side. He then flicked your sensitive clit, making you whimper as slick gushed out your weeping hole.
âą âYou like this, don't you, sweetheart? Lying on my desk, messing up my paperwork with your slutty pussy?â
âą He's not the type to degrade you, but if you really wanted to he would. But he wouldn't go too far with the insults.
âą He's a switch. Since he's usually dominant in most of his everyday life, Hotch lets you take over once in a while.
âą Loves going down on you. He likes loosening your tight hole with his mouth and savours the taste of your essence on his tongue.
âą Hotch goes weak when you go down on him even if he doesn't ask you to. Praises and soft grunts.
âą Isn't the type to be loud. Mostly pants and let's out soft groans when your pussy convulses around his shaft.
âą Loves hearing you whine his name and complain how deep he is.
âą Once he saw you looking at a site involving different positions, but the one that piqued his interest the most was the mating press.
âą Was curious and wanted to try it with you. Hotch was too riled up to put on a condom that night and filled you up to the brim, having you pressed into the mattress, your calves over his shoulders as he buried himself deeper, hitting so many new places that it made you see white.
That's all for now, I hope you liked it đ€đ€đ€
#ashlinxloves#aaron hotchner criminal minds#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#ssa aaron hotchner#aaron hotch fanfiction#aaron hotchner smut#dilf hotchner#daddy hotch#criminal minds fics#criminal minds smut#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x you#headcanon#hotch headcanons#smut fics#smut headcanons#smut#soft headcanons
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Outage - Yunsan
KINKTOBER DAY 19, REQ. BY anon
~"Can you write a college au fic where Yunho and San are best friends living next door to the (fem)reader's apartment/ dorm. Both of them like the reader and they ended having a threesome at the guys' place (maybe she goes to their dorm during a power outage cause she's scared, you can decide the reason she's there). I'd like for the reader to be a virgin, whereas the guys are a bit more experienced. Yunho is a mean, rough dom while San is a softer, gentler dom and they work together to give the reader multiple orgasms in various positions." - I'm so sorry ml I would add all the details but it's gonna occupy all the space :<
pairing: yunho x reader x san
genre: 18+, filth, college au
summary: oops, energy's out on your floor. What a good night to go over at your besties, to finish your study session. Yeah, right.. you studied, for sure.. how to give a bj.
wc: 5.8k
warnings: college au, best friends, big dick!yunsan, reader is a virgin, finger sucking, fingering, multiple orgasms (A LOT OF THEM), like 3 orgasms by fingering and one by fucking for reader and yunsan having like two each... so lots of cummm, overstim, dacryphilia, bj, double penetration, yunho is a rougher dom than san, marking (LOOOTSSS OF ITTT), lots of eye contact, praising, pet names (sweetie, love, sweetheart, princess), unprotected, completely consensual, for sure forgot something, unedited might edit later.
Author's Note: it legitimately took me 5 days to finish this fic đ§ââïž but it has 5.8k words so ig it's pretty expected đââïž. It is as detailed as I could write it, my love.. I hope you like it. Pls let me know if you did by completing the request form or by sending me an ask to my inbox! đ„° I loved writing it, ngl... Enjoy, guys !!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and does not represent the reality of the members in any way.
The cool evening air nipped at your cheeks as you walked down the hallway of your apartment building with San and Yunho, your books and notebooks bundled tightly in your arms. Despite the demands of your classes, the three of you had fallen into a comfortable rhythm this semester, balancing study sessions with countless inside jokes, late-night ramen runs, and endless laughter. Living in the same building, with you just a few doors down from their shared dorm, had only solidified the bond between you.
"So," Yunho said, glancing down at you with a teasing smile as you reached the door to their place, "how much of Professor Leeâs reading did you actually finish last night?"
You groaned, letting your head fall back dramatically. "Please donât remind me. I got, like, halfway before I passed out.â
San chuckled, brushing his shoulder against yours. âThatâs better than Yunho and me. We didnât even crack the book open.â
Yunho put his hands up in mock defense. âHey, I never claimed I was on top of things! Besides, I was too busy helping San fix that stupid coffee machine he broke.â
San rolled his eyes, nudging him. âYouâre the one who insisted on trying to âhackâ it to make double shots.â
âDetails, details.â Yunho gave you both an exaggerated shrug, making you laugh.
As the three of you lingered in the hallway, the faint warmth of your playful banter started to drift. There was a stack of assignments waiting to be tackled, so after a few more exchanges, you decided to head to your own dorm.
"Alright, weâve procrastinated long enough," you sighed. "Iâll see you guys later?"
San nodded, grinning. âWeâll probably still be awake at 2 a.m. if you wanna come back and cram together.â
Yunho gave a wink. âOr if you get bored, you know where to find us.â
âNoted,â you replied with a smirk, giving them a small wave as you turned and walked down the hall to your door.
Inside, your dorm room was quiet, lit only by the faint amber glow of your desk lamp. You settled in, organizing your textbooks and notes, trying to get into the right mindset to finally tackle your assignments. An hour ticked by, then another, and you began to make progress. But just as you were reaching the last few pages of your reading, the lights suddenly flickered. Then, with a low hum, everything went dark.
You stared at the darkness for a moment, blinking in surprise. The hallway lights were out too, leaving your entire floor eerily quiet and still. You grabbed your phone and quickly typed out a message to Yunho and San:
âHey, my power just went out⊠Can I come over and finish my work? I canât see anything here.â
The reply was almost instant. Yunhoâs text popped up first: âDefinitely! Weâll keep the lights on for you.â
Sanâs text followed a second later. âCome on over. Weâll even share the snacks.â
You smiled at their texts and went on packing everything you needed. Pens, the highlighters you always used for your notes, notebooks, textbooks⊠everything you thought youâd need. As you went out the door and locked it, you smiled and turned on the phone flashlight and went up the stairs to their dorm.
â
When you arrived at their room, Yunho opened the door with a grin, his eyes sparkling as he held it wide for you to enter. Inside, the room was cozy and warmly lit, shadows casting soft outlines across their books and scattered notes. The faint scent of coffee and something sweet lingered, wrapping you in an inviting warmth that made the tension from your dark, quiet room dissipate.
You placed your things on the table and settled into a chair, and before you even had a chance to fully adjust, Yunho shifted beside you. He leaned over, feigning interest in your notes, though his attention clearly lingered on you more than your work. His arm brushed yours, his fingers lightly grazing the edge of your hand, sending a gentle warmth up your arm.
âFeels better here, doesnât it?â he murmured, his voice soft, almost inviting you to agree.
You nodded, trying to focus on the pages in front of you, but the warmth of his presence was impossible to ignore.
âDefinitely feels better than sitting alone in the dark,â you whispered, a small smile creeping onto your face.
From the other side, San watched with a relaxed smile, sliding his chair closer. He rested a hand on the back of your seat, his fingers just barely skimming your shoulder, his touch grounding and comforting.
âGood thing you have us,â San murmured, his thumb brushing softly along the curve of your shoulder. The warmth in his voice, usually playful, was softer, almost reverent. He looked at you with a gentleness that made your heart flutter, his touch a calming presence that drew you in.
The room filled with a quiet, intimate energy as you all fell into a natural silence, the rustling of paper and the faint click of a pen the only sounds. But gradually, the space between you felt like it was diminishing, your awareness of their proximity deepening with every gentle touch and sidelong glance.
Yunhoâs fingers began a slow trail along the length of your arm, a feather-light touch that made your pulse race, yet somehow left you craving more. His gaze held yours, warm and open, a subtle smile playing on his lips.
âYouâre too quiet now,â he teased softly. âUsually you canât stop talking.â
The words sent a shiver through you, and you managed a soft laugh, your voice barely above a whisper. âGuess Iâm⊠distracted.â
Sanâs hand moved, his fingers brushing along your shoulder as his gaze softened. He looked at you for a moment, his usual grin replaced by a serious, thoughtful expression. âWell,â he murmured, âwe donât mind sharing a little⊠distraction.â
Surrounded by them both, you felt the pull of their closeness, each touch deepening the quiet understanding between you. The night continued in gentle, charged stillness, their presence speaking louder than words as you sat together, enveloped in warmth, comfort, and something that felt undeniably right.
The quiet atmosphere began to thrum with anticipation, an unspoken intensity filling the air as Yunhoâs gaze lingered on yours, searching. He finally took a deep breath, and his voice, usually bright and playful, softened with a serious edge.
âI think we need to tell you something,â Yunho said, his fingers still tracing light circles on your arm, sending ripples of warmth through your skin. You looked up, curiosity and apprehension mingling in your expression.
He glanced at San, who gave him a subtle nod, his eyes holding a similar warmth as he looked at you. Yunho took another breath, a little unsteady, then met your eyes again.
âWe both⊠like you,â he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of his words echoed in your heart. âSan and I⊠weâve talked about this, and we know itâs unusual, but neither of us could ignore how we feel.â
San moved closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder, his touch both reassuring and grounding. âWe want you to know that weâre here for you, together⊠if youâd want that too.â His voice was low and steady, but you could see the hint of vulnerability in his gaze as he waited for your reaction.
Your heart raced, the reality of their words sinking in, a warmth blossoming in your chest. You found yourself nodding, a small smile breaking across your lips as you whispered, âYes, I⊠I want that too.â
A flicker of mischief sparked in Yunhoâs eyes as he leaned in, brushing a gentle kiss to your temple. âYou should know⊠weâll take good care of you.â Then he paused, noticing the slight blush on your cheeks, the way your gaze shifted shyly downward.
âActually, thereâs something you should know tooâŠâ you whispered, the words tumbling out, heart racing as you admitted, âIâm⊠not experienced. I haven't, uh - had sex.. before.â
Yunhoâs expression softened, a gentle laugh escaping him as he reached out to cup your cheek, his touch warm and steady. âThen, weâll take it slow,â he promised, his voice tender. He looked over to San, who nodded with a smirk and a glint in his eye. âWeâll make sure youâre⊠well taken care of,â Yunho murmured, the reassurance in his words filling you with a sense of warmth and trust.
Yunhoâs fingers slid down, grazing your jawline, his touch electrifying as he closed the distance between you. The air felt thick, charged, as if any moment of hesitation had melted away, replaced by something deeper, more primal. His eyes, dark with intent, flickered over your face, taking in every inch of your expression, every shallow breath. He leaned closer, his gaze settling on your lips, and you felt yourself drawn toward him, as if his very presence held you captive.
Just as his lips brushed yours, Sanâs hands found your waist, pulling you gently back against him. His warmth enveloped you, his breath hot against your neck as he leaned down, pressing a feather-light kiss below your ear. âWeâll go at your pace,â he whispered, his voice a soft promise, yet laced with that familiar teasing edge. His lips trailed along the curve of your neck, slow and deliberate, as Yunhoâs fingers found their way to your hair, tilting your face back to meet his gaze.
âAre you still nervous?â Yunho murmured, his voice rich and warm. His eyes softened with understanding, yet there was an undeniable impatience simmering beneath, a quiet hunger that made your breath catch. You shook your head, a hint of a smile tugging at your lips, and Yunhoâs own smirk grew as he finally, slowly, closed the last bit of space between you.
The kiss was tender at first, a gentle exploration, but you felt the fire building with each second. Yunhoâs hands, no longer hesitant, traced down your back, drawing you closer as if he couldnât bear the distance any longer. Sanâs grip on your waist tightened, his mouth pressing firmer against your neck, his breath sending a thrill down your spine. He sucked dark marks all over your back and shoulders, soft whines escaping your slowly rising chest. Every inch of you was surrounded by their warmth, their presence, until all you could feel was them, grounding you, igniting you, and filling you with a new, intoxicating sense of belonging.
âWe've been waiting for this⊠y/n. For a looong time..â San whispered in your ear from behind, tracing his fingers on your body. He looked up at Yunho and gave him an understanding nod, to which Yunho pulled back, âYes, sweetie.. you with that little smile of yours⊠and face. personality of yoursâŠâ.
In an instant, San lifted you up, his arms steady and strong as he carried you over to the bed, the movement gentle but filled with a kind of care that made your heart skip a beat. He laid you down with the utmost tenderness, settling behind you as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His hold was warm, comforting, and his fingers traced soft, delicate patterns along your arm, grounding you in this moment.
With San pressed against your back, Yunho moved to the edge of the bed, crawling forward to face you. His gaze held a softness that made you feel cherished, and as he took in every detail of your face, his smile was both gentle and captivating.
âYouâre beautiful,â Yunho murmured, his voice low but full of sincerity. His fingers brushed a stray lock of hair from your face, tucking it carefully behind your ear. âEverything about you⊠just perfect.â
A blush crept into your cheeks at his words, and you looked down for a moment, but Yunho tilted your chin up, bringing your gaze back to his. âHey, donât hide from us now,â he whispered, his thumb brushing softly along your jawline. âWe want to see you⊠all of you.â
Behind you, San nuzzled into the crook of your neck, his breath warm as he held you closer. âYunhoâs right,â he murmured, his tone soft yet intense. âWeâve been drawn to you for so long⊠more than we ever let on.â His arms tightened around you, the embrace protective and reassuring, grounding you in their presence. His lips found their way again on your neck, right under your jaw, where he marked you again. He was just oh-so-thirsty for you.
Yunho leaned closer, his forehead almost resting against yours, his voice a soft murmur. âItâs always been you. The way you laugh, the way you care about people⊠youâre everything we could have asked for.â
The gentle pressure of their touch, the way they held you so close, filled you with a warmth that ran deeper than anything youâd known. Their affection, their sincerityâit was as if theyâd been holding onto these feelings for so long, waiting for the perfect moment to share them with you.
Sanâs hand moved slowly, gently intertwining his fingers with yours, his breath soft against your ear as he whispered, âWeâre right here, and weâre not going anywhere.â
In their embrace, you felt safe, cherished, and undeniably loved, wrapped in the warmth of their closeness and the quiet intimacy of the moment.
Yunhoâs eyes met yours, a hint of mischief glinting in his gaze as he leaned down, his lips brushing just below your collarbone. His fingers grazed along your shoulders, and he let his lips linger, pressing warm, slow kisses down the curve of your neck, making his way lower. Each touch felt like a silent promise, but there was something more deliberate in the way his lips marked your skin. The heat of his breath traced down to your collarbone, and as he pressed against you, his hands held you firmly in place.
With a quiet murmur, Yunho drew back slightly, his mouth leaving a faint, warm imprint on your skin, and turned to glance at San. His smile was laced with both a challenge and a hint of possessiveness. âIâm marking her everywhere,â he said, his voice low and edged with a playful intensity. âLetâs see who makes her feel it more.â
San smirked, his fingers still intertwined with yours, while Yunhoâs hand found its way to your thigh. His touch was steady, almost firm, and he pushed your legs apart, creating space between you, his gaze tracing over your form with clear appreciation. âYouâre beautiful,â he murmured, the words gentle against the intensity of his actions. His fingers slid along the soft skin of your thigh, a hint of roughness to his touch that made your heart race. Every glance, every touch, held a kind of reverence as if he was both admiring and claiming you all at once.
Yunhoâs eyes never left yours as his lips began to trail slowly downward, warm and intentional, leaving a path of tender heat across your skin. His hands gripped your thighs, spreading them just enough to make space as he leaned in, his lips pressing along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. Each kiss was slow, deliberate, and every now and then he would pause, sucking gently at the delicate skin until he left a faint, possessive mark in his wake. His fingers tightened slightly around your thighs, grounding you in the sensation of his touch as he worked his way upward.
Behind you, Sanâs hand moved to your neck, his thumb tracing a gentle line along your jaw before he tilted your chin up, his own mouth finding its way to the curve of your throat. The warmth of his breath brushed against your skin as he pressed a gentle, lingering kiss just below your jawline. âJust let us show you,â he murmured softly, his tone filled with affection, his fingers moving to caress the sensitive skin beneath your ear.
Sanâs hold on your jaw made your head tilt back slightly, and you felt Yunhoâs mouth on your thighs, trailing upward with unhurried intensity, marking you as he went, savoring each touch. The way they held youâSanâs protective yet gentle hold from behind and Yunhoâs firm, claiming presence from the frontâmade your heart race, filling you with an undeniable sense of being cherished, their attention leaving you breathless in the quiet warmth of their embrace.
Sanâs breath grew heavier behind you, and you could feel the unmistakable heat of his cock pressing firmly against your lower back, his restraint slipping with every moment. His hands moved to your waist, fingers tightening as he pulled you up, shifting you to sit fully on his lap. The sensation of him beneath you sent a warm blush to your cheeks, and you smiled, caught off guard yet undeniably drawn to the warmth and intensity of his touch.
Meanwhile, Yunho was still focused on you, his lips grazing along the sensitive skin of your thighs, leaving small marks that trailed upward, each one deliberate, each one claiming. His hands roamed softly along your legs as he pressed one last kiss to your inner thigh before he pulled back, catching sight of the subtle evidence of your own arousal against the linen beneath you. A playful smirk tugged at his lips, and he looked up, meeting your gaze with a glint of mischief.
Without breaking eye contact, Yunhoâs hand moved slowly, confidently, his fingers trailing along your inner thigh before reaching that sensitive place, his touch both gentle and intentional. His fingers explored with careful precision, his eyes watching your every reaction, savoring the way you responded to each movement. Sanâs hands remained steady at your waist, anchoring you in place as Yunho leaned in, his gaze filled with both admiration and a playful challenge, entirely focused on you, caught in the moment they shared with you.
âYouâre so wet already⊠I can see that you love being marked, is that right?â Yunho asked, his finger pressing against your clit, keeping eye contact with you. âTell me, sweetie. You wanted this too, mm?â two of his fingers found itâs way in, your head falling back on Sanâs shoulder as you felt Yunhoâs fingers curling inside you. He started to finger you, his long, slender fingers hitting spots youâd never thought would arouse you but here you were.. between the two men youâve always dreamed of.
âYunho.. letâs take turns, shall we?â San said from behind, your eyes widened at his words. What did he mean by.. take turns..? you asked yourself.
He smiled at Sanâs words. âYeah, sure.. why not. But first, let me have my way with her..â Yunho said and curled his fingers inside you, hitting your g spot a couple of times, moans escaping your throat. âThen.. you can have your way with her and.. â he circled your clit with his thumb, making you bite your lip, âwe can both have our way with her.â San scoffed from behind, approvingly.
âNow.. let's see how much you can handle, sweetheart.â the taller one whispered and he worked both of his hands around your folds. His right hand was 2 fingers deep inside you, finger fucking you rapidly, building your orgasm, while his other hand had the thumb onto your clit, rubbing it in circles, sometimes putting pressure on it. You squirmed and squirmed in front of him and above San, until you basically couldn't take it anymore.
âY-yunho..!â you started, but words dissipated fast.
âWhat, princess?â he smiled at you, your face flustered.
âI-i.. ngh.. gotta-â you moaned out the last word, head falling back once again onto San's chest.
âUse your words, pretty girl.â
âI- gotta⊠c-cum! Yunho, p-pleaseâŠâ you pleaded, eyes teary from being stretched out by his fingers.
Yunhoâs smirk grew, his fingers maintaining that perfect, teasing rhythm. He watched you closely, keeping eye contact, catching each hitch in your breath, each tremble, like he was savoring every second. âThere we go, princessâ he murmured, his tone turning a touch more commanding. âLet it all outâŠâ Yunho said and pressed all your sweet spots until you squirmed over his hand and came all over, creaming on his fingers.
Sanâs hold tightened from behind, his hands firm on your waist, pulling you slightly against him. âYou think you can handle more, princess?â His voice had a rougher edge now, the soft amusement shifting to something more intense.
âY-yes.. please..â you whispered, voice low and quiet.
âThen.. show us just how much you can take it, sweetheart.â
Yunhoâs fingers pressed deeper for a moment, coaxing a soft sound from you that only seemed to encourage them. âLook at you, so eager,â he murmured, his voice velvet-smooth but with a hint of challenge. âWeâre not even close to done with you, sweetheart.â
âC'mon, San.. come here. Switch with me.â the taller one said and lifted you, putting you down in his lap, right against his hard cock. He was.. way lengthier than San was but.. San was.. girthier, you'd say? Either way, you were slightly scared of how painfully pleasurable it was gonna be.
You were already out of it. Face sweaty, flustered, eyes teary and legs trembling, but they were not yet done. San's hand ran between your legs, his fingers tracing your thighs. He lubed them up on your own juices then pushed them in, his fingers girthier than Yunho's. Two fingers of his feeling like 3 of Yunho's, you felt yourself being stretched out even more than before. You were close to your high again, even faster than before as you were already aroused.
âYou look so beautiful like this, my princesâŠâ San said and sucked a mark on your thigh. Surprised, you moaned pushing your head back into Yunho's buff chest. His right hand went under your chin and slowly pulled your mouth to his, going in for a kiss. At first, it was a soft, tender one. Then, as your moans and whines grew more often and his groans revrebrating through your body, the kiss deepened and the knot in your belly started to feel tighter and tighter, until San curled his fingers into your g-spot and clit at the same time and you beautifully came onto his fingers for the 2nd time in a row.
âThat's it, sweetheartâŠâ San whispered
Yunho continued from behind, âSuch a good girl..â
How Yunho called you sent a shiver down your spine. Yunho lifted you up onto his lap, sitting you straight.
âOne more, sweetie? We promise it's the last oneâŠâ he said.
âH-uh? I-â you couldn't even talk, but you nodded your head in approval. The boys looked at each other, giving understanding stares. San pulled you to his chest, placing you on his thigh. You were basically sitting sideways on his lap, your legs spread out evenly. Yunho came under your left leg, in the same position San was. They both pulled your legs outwards slightly, resting on one another's thighs. (it's like they're really close to each other and she's sitting on both men's thighs, left leg over Yunho's entire leg and right one over San's).
They held you promptly and their fingers traveled over your body, Yunhoâs hand resting on your waist, San's on your breasts.
âAre you ready, our princess?â San asked.
You nodded. That was it.
âHold your legs and spread out, darling.â
Both men's fingers went for your hole, a loud moan escaping your throat as you felt both men stretching you in opposite directions. One another was softly pulling towards themselves, inserting each of them two of their fingers, as deep as possible.
They took their time, as if savoring the moment as much as you, their breaths steady and close to your ear, a soft warmth reminding you that they were fully present. Their fingers moved with an intimacy that spoke volumes, every subtle yet harsh movement letting you feel how attuned they were to every reaction, every moan, whine you made.
Their touch became more focused, the rhythm of their fingers overwhelming as you felt the tension building deep within you. Sanâs voice was a soft murmur by your ear, encouraging you, each word melting into the warmth of his breath, heightening every sensation. Yunhoâs grip on your waist steadied you, his thumb brushing along your side in tender, grounding strokes, keeping you fully present in the moment.
And then, with a final, gentle touch, the wave overtook you, breaking over you like a rush of warmth. Your body trembled in their embrace, your breaths mingling with theirs as they held you through every second, their hands offering steady reassurance as the sensations washed over you in gentle waves.
As you came down from your high, tears formed in your eyes from the overstimulation. You came all over their hands and linen for the 3rd time, biting your lips in pleasure.
They put you down slowly on the bed, then both sat right in front of you on their knees. Their cocks were dripping continuously with precum, hard and throbbing, waiting for action.
âGoddammit⊠you look so pretty like this. Teary eyes.. all fucked out and flushed and we didn't even fuck you yet. Yunho, isn't she perfect like this? Imagine her after we fuck her⊠oh god.â San said, carresing your cheek as he wiped off some tears.
Yunhoâs eyes darkened, a low, breathless chuckle escaping his lips as he took in the sight of you, utterly captivated. He ran his fingers along your trembling jawline, thumb grazing over your lips. âPerfect doesnât even cover it,â he murmured, voice laced with a deep, possessive edge. âBut I donât think I can wait any longer to see just how beautiful youâll look after⊠Come here.â
He stood, pulling you gently toward the edge of the bed, eyes never leaving yours. âRight here," he instructed, his gaze commanding, leaving no room for hesitation. "Letâs see just how pretty you can be for us.â
He raised his brow at his cock, but backed off for a second. He looked at you, and then at San.
San smirked as he looked down at you, his eyes filled with intensity as he took in the sight of you kneeling so prettily on the edge of the bed, exactly where he wanted you. One knee pressed beside your thigh, he leaned in close, the warmth of his breath brushing your skin as he lifted his hand toward your lips.
Keeping steady eye contact, he raised his brows and tilted his head slightly. âOpen,â he instructed softly, his voice commanding yet gentle, coaxing you to follow his lead. As your lips parted, he slipped two fingers past them, a glint of satisfaction in his gaze. âGood girl. Now, close around them⊠slowly, just like that.â
His fingers rested on your tongue, and he watched, completely focused, guiding you with a calm authority. âSuck, nice and easy," he whispered, his voice darkening, "let your tongue glide over them⊠there you go.â His eyes flickered with approval, and he leaned in just a little closer, his thumb brushing your chin as he murmured, âShow me how well you can listen.â
As you sucked on his fingers, coating them in your own saliva, he smiled at you, satisfied with your work. He then inserted one more finger, your tongue immediately moving and slurping around. After he was more than satisfied with it, he pulled out with a slight popping sound and backed off. He patted Yunho on the chest, who has been lazily stroking his length, looking at the two of you.
âJust in time.. I was going insane back here.â Yunho got closer to you, one of his hand tangling in your hair softly. âOpen up, darling. Don't make me wait,â he said and tapped your lower lip with the tip of his cock, to which you opened your mouth and slowly took in his length. The corners of your lips stung as he slowly thrusted in your mouth, hurrying you to adjust to his size.
Yunho's breathing grew heavier as he watched you, his gaze dark and focused. Each slow movement seemed to be its own silent command, urging you to take more of him. His fingers tangled further in your hair, his grip firm yet tender.
You felt your cheeks hollow slightly as you adjusted to his size, your lips stretching around him in a way that sent a heated thrill through both of you. A soft whine slipped past your lips when he pulled back slightly, leaving you wanting more.
He chuckled, a low, knowing sound. âYou feel so good, princess.." he murmured, his voice thick with restraint, though his eyes told a different story. You responded with a light hum, the vibrations adding to the tension building between you both. As his pace quickened, your hands found their way to his hips, steadying yourself as he guided you closer to his peak, mouth fucking you rapidly, feeling every corner of your mouth.
With one final, harsh thrust, Yunhoâs breaths became uneven, his fingers tightening in your hair as his focus blurred, surrendering to the intensity of the moment. His low, rough voice spilled out in a shuddered exhale as he came. He looked down at you and nodded, urging you to slurp everything, âswallow, sweetheart.â and you did as told.
Just as you felt Yunhoâs hand leave your hair, San took his place before you. He offered a playful smile.
Slowly, you welcomed him, the slight stretch challenging yet thrilling, but you never looked away. His hand reached forward as a tear slipped from the corner of your eye, a silent promise of reassurance as he swept his thumb gently across your cheek. With each slow movement, his thumb remained there, resting on your face.
âFuck.. you didn't lie at all, manâŠâ his head lolled back, biting his lip, âwhen you said she feels good..â
Sanâs breaths quickened as he found a rhythm, but he kept his focus on you, reading every reaction, every subtle change in your expression. He couldn't wait anymore. He wanted to cum and that was it. His hand pushed your head on his cock, making you gag and slightly choke on it. As he did that a couple of times he came right down your throat, urging you to swallow his load. It took him a couple of moments to release everything, your eyes teary as he kept his cock down your throat until the end.
âDamn.. that was hotâ Yunho said from behind, his cock hard again, heavy in his hand.
âPrincess.. would you be able to endure one round of⊠both of us fucking you, hm?â Yunho said, both men standing in front of you, keeping eye contact. âI just can't wait for my turn, you know?â he continued.
âI-uhâ you hesitated for a second, but smiled and nodded shyly, looking up at him.
âThat's our girl, man⊠look at her. Already flushed and ravished, but still wants more? Such a good girlâŠâ San said and pushed you on the bed, crawling under you. He held you close to his chest as he moved up slightly and rested his back against the headboard. Yunho came from behind and kneeled right behind you, his hands resting on your waist.
âAre you ready, love?â he said from behind, your eyes looking into San's, not knowing what to expect. You nodded, and San was the first one to act. He thrusted as slow as possible in your cunt, your hands gripping the headboard as he let you get accustomed to his size. A loud moan escaped your throat, words stuttering as he started to keep up on a pace. Yunho did the same after he let you get used to San and as he started to softly fuck you, your eyes teared up and drops of tears fell onto San's chest. He wiped them off, in awe of your reactions and fucked you. harshness betraying his neediness for you.
âFuck, you're so tightâŠâ he said and his hands drove up and down on your back, trying to soothe you.
Sanâs hand gently caressed your cheek as you locked eyes with him, feeling his heartbeat strong and steady beneath you. His thumb traced over your cheekbone, wiping away any lingering tears "Youâre incredible," he murmured softly, voice thick with admiration.
Behind you, Yunhoâs hands remained anchored on your waist, fingers pressing into you in a grounding way. He leaned in close, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, âYouâre doing so well.â His tone was a blend of awe and satisfaction, his voice rough but filled with warmth that made you feel completely safe.
As they both moved with you, their rhythm became an unspoken exchange, synchronized in a way that felt almost effortless. You could feel the tension building in each of them, both of them on the edge, breaths deepening as they drew nearer to their highs. Sanâs grip on your thighs tightened, his knuckles grazing your skin, grounding you both as he savored every second. Yunhoâs hand slipped up your back in a soothing motion, his rough exhale brushing against your shoulder, each of them close to finishing.
As they fucked you for a couple of times, you came unannounced, your aching walls tightening around their cocks. Surprised, both San and Yunho came down from their high simultaneously, their huge loads filling both of your holes to the brim. They fucked you through your orgasms and slowly came down to a stop.
Yunho slowly pulled back, exhaling a long, satisfied breath. His hand lingered on your back for a moment, his thumb tracing gentle circles, grounding both of you in the moment. He offered you a soft, tender smile, cheeks flushed and breathing deeply. San's arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling you close to his chest as he settled back.
âYou did so well,â Yunho murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple, his voice low and full of pride. His fingers brushed along your cheek with a feather-light touch, his gaze filled with awe. âYouâre so beautiful, love⊠canât believe how lucky we are.â
San pressed his lips to the top of your head, his grip tightening around you as he whispered, âSuch a good girl.â His fingers traced soothing patterns along your back. âEvery bit of you is incredible, you know that?â
The two of them exchanged a quiet smile over you, their gazes warm. They both leaned in, pressing gentle kisses to your cheeks, to your forehead, each one tender, grounding, letting you know how much you were cherished.
âLet's get you washed up, alright?â San said and lifted you, carrying you to the bathroom and placing you down.
âT-thank you.. it was in-incredible.â you finally managed to form a sentence, both boys looking contently in your eyes. They smiled at your words and San gave you a hand, holding you tight while the taller one turned on the shower.
NETWORKS:
@blossomnet
@illusionnet
PERMANENT TAGLIST:
@mingleshine @musiclovingfairy @crazylittlebisexual @sanhwalvr @gong-fourz @arki-sha @artistic-rendition @hongjoongtime117 @cypher-03 @woolysium @peachy-bell26 @memorabxlia @atiny1
#ateez fanfic#illusionnet#blossomnet#ateez x reader#ateez fic#ateez x y/n#fanfic#smut fic#ateez#ateez smut#smut#ateez yunho#yunho x reader#yunho smut#yunho x y/n#yunho x you#san x y/n#san fic#san x reader#san smut#san x you
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In the Twilight community, there's a lot of genuine love and sarcasm with the movies and books; with how cheesy and trope-y everything is. Do you also view Wayhaven with a similar tongue-in-cheek campiness? (in a good way, of course)
Yes, very much so :D
This is a vampire romance fiction with so much melodrama you can't turn the page without angst spilling out all over it, hehe!
Wayhaven is my escape, it's where I get the chance to write the tropes and things that I love but haven't had a chance to put my own twist on yet.
I'm not trying to write something new , a classic, or anything thought-provoking. It really is just a story to dive into and romance some hot vampires and feel like the 'chosen one' in a story that focuses on your character!
If it was something I was trying to turn into a classic, there certainly would be a whole lot less puns, lol! ;D
But it is still something I take seriously. I pour my everything into Wayhaven for the best escapist experience, and I hope people enjoy for that!
Thank you so much for the ask! :)
#the wayhaven chronicles#asks#interactive fiction#personal#vampires#twc detective#creative writing#choice of games#hosted games#writing process
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you writing is so beautiful. the way that logan tries to stop her - how blunt and earnest he is and the worst person for the job (but also best, in his own way) but he's trying, gosh that got me. love the line about logan's tailights being a lighthouse, guiding her back out in all that dark, and then trying to make her promise she won't go back.
and how they bump into each other again, the way he takes time and listens to her each time had my heart aching. the way you write her grief felt so real (I really appreciate how you wrote this fic - my own mental health over the past few years has been rocky and this felt so - gosh, I don't know, relatable? hopeful? wonderful? to read), and the fact that he understands in a way that no one else she knows does - it such a rough connection but you have me feeling glad for each of their encounters.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
Wheezing omg - perfect Wade introduction. And then that she goes back, and I that she hates but I love that he is getting a handle at how she thinks, how he makes her be honest. And gosh when he opens up in return, that fondness he had for Wade, how he's still hurting from before, I was inhaling this.
Loving 'DVDJ' (and the F9/Wade & Logan references omfg) and I so feel for reader and how hard it is to put yourself out there, but what a great group of people for her to surround herself with. And the whiplash with her finding him like that, how it still comes back to him after all the healing he's been trying to do, all of this made my chest ache.
Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one. // âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Ahh this made me want to cry - I love how you dug into his grief in this. How she's able to help him this time, find the words he needs to hear. And ahh I love how you write everyone - Vanessa, Wade, Althea. Logan's chip! I am tearing up again, especially at this part:
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.â
oh!! đ„șđ and then I love the reveal that the cliff was a space in his world, even with their shared history of it. like they were always meant to meet, the âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â had me like !!!! - sad and lovely is so right.
ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
this made me laugh (reference to Hugh's interview right??) omg. and the way you pace things, how they slowly get better and fall into place for her, it makes me so proud, even just as a reader.
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â // It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
Grinning, oh my god. And how sweet she is with the gift and how Wade wants to take a new photo of his new world - my heart. And then how seeing Vanessa and Wade makes her think about more, when at the beginning that was impossible - weeping.
Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
!!!!! god, what a realization. and how she can't handle it, so real. And how he comes through the rain to check on her, oh my god. That he checked, and how scared he must have been!
âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.â // His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.
Oh. And oh my god that perfectly imperfect kiss, the fact he's been wanting to for ages!!!!! I am screaming. âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â !!!! (the vein appreciation, loved that)
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
eep! đłđ the smut was so perfect, so good. I am obsessed with how soft he is for her -
âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance.
LOGAN đł the desperation with how theyâre still on her table, how sweet and pleased he is - the âthen get it outâ, omg he is so filthy. This was amazing (that stomach vein yesssss) just absolutely steamy as hell and so so well-written and I had to keep taking breaks to stare at the wall. Phew! Fucking her against the wall!!!! I love the use of the strength here and yessss a long night indeed!! đđđ
And gosh, the last segment. No words, my heart is tied up in the sweetest of strings and knots. This was really something special. I already want to reread and pick each line apart. This was Logan and this is canon to me and wow I just loved this so much and I hope you are so proud of this fic because you really really should be. I am going to be thinking about this for a long time đ (and I would love to hear about the title, is Logan her cardinal?)(like a sign of hope and new beginnings?)
Cardinal
Pairing: Logan Howlett ("Worst" Wolverine) x f!reader
Rating: Explicit (for themes and smut).
Word count: 16.6k
Summary: At the edge of the world, someone from another keeps you from stepping off.
Tags/Warnings (Please, read the warnings!!): Post-Deadpool & Wolverine, female reader (female anatomy etc + 2 mentions of hair long enough to fall into your eyes), strangers-to-lovers, depression, suicidal ideations, suicide attempt and mentions thereof, addiction, drinking alcohol, drugs (mentioned not used), panic attacks, sobriety meetings, anxiety, recovery, co-dependency vibes, sprinkles of soulmateism, explicit smut (oral and unprotected PIV), happy ending (yay!!). If I forgot anything, please let me know!
Notes: Deadpool and Wolverine re-triggered my X-Men obsession and what started as a means to write some smut actually became this idea about two broken people who shouldn't even have met in the first place finding each other. There's a lot of me in this story, more than there's ever been I think. I'm sorry for this glimpse into my head, and I'm sorry if this isn't as Reader-insert as it should be, but... I'm not that sorry, you know. Huge thanks to @javier-pena , for not only reading this over and fixing so many embarrassing mistakes, but also for saying she'd read this even if it was 20k words and always believing in my abilities as a writer, even when I sometimes didn't.
If you want to read the smut as a standalone, you can! Just CTRL + F (or search in page) for 'Logan reaches for' and read away.
THE LOOKOUT
With closed eyes, you inhale the cool, December air, before looking down at your feet. Here, at the edge of the lookout, the grass has been trampled. You imagine friends taking bets on who dares get closest to the edge, lovers making memories, families taking pictures. Itâs strangely soothing that maybe youâre not the first to stand here to do this.Â
Far below your feet, the water laps at the rocks. The force of it depends on the weather and tonight itâs violent, with big splashes and crashing sounds. The wind tugs at your coat, pulling you towards the water as if to help you along, making you look up again as you hold your balance. In front of you, the line of the horizon is dark but visible â it would have been impossible to make out if the moon hadnât been as bright as it is.
Itâs like youâre looking at the edge of the world.
During the weeks that fall had made way for winter, you scoped the place out a couple times. The first time you stood at this cliffâs edge, the place it took you to mentally scared you so much that you got back into your car and broke down in tears. The next couple times, things became more and more serious, as your life crumbled around you, and your feelings numbed, and nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Something had crept in while you werenât looking, settling somewhere behind your eyes and spreading out to make a home behind your ribs, slowly but surely changing you. And once you realized it, it was already too late. It had grown large, became jilted and jealous, like it wanted all of you. It pushed away everyone and everything you held dear, until it was just you and that⊠something.
Especially during the quiet of the night, the lookout became soothing, a strange sense of familiarity enveloping you each time you were here. It was addictive and pretty soon, it became a daily routine to visit. But lately itâs been losing its shine, your feelings here dulling and darkening too. Youâre exhausted, fed up, tired of giving it more of you.
Today you want it to be your last time here.Â
Youâve had countless hours to contemplate what it would be like, imagined â all but romanticised â how the cold water would paralyse your limbs if the impact wouldn't do the trick. You read somewhere that itâs apparently like falling asleep when the water finally fills your lungs. Youâll be gone, but the thing will be too.
The thought makes your eyes fill with tears, but not from fear. All you feel is relief, like itâs right, how itâs supposed to be. It makes you smile despite everything, andâ
âHey, stop!â
A voice behind you thunders through the silence and makes you shriek into the night, dirt toppling over the edge of the lookout below the shuffle of your foot. A string of curses follows, heavy footfalls behind you indicating that the intruder is approaching you.
âFuck off!â you throw over your shoulder, your voice a roar with how itâs amplified by the wind.Â
After, your throat closes up, fighting the angry tears over the fact that you canât even fucking kill yourself in peace. Never have you seen anyone here at night, never. What you hate even more is how it breaks your momentum. The haze that was surrounding you is pierced, and your bodyâs baser instincts kick in. Adrenaline suddenly pumps through your veins, making your legs tremble, your heart hammer, your body scream for you to step back from where youâre standing. Your anger, however, has you nailed to the floor.Â
You almost miss the much softer, âHey,â as a man steps into your peripheral vision. You pretend like you donât hear him, or see him â you simply pretend he isnât there, focussing on getting back into your previous mindset.Â
But then he takes his hands out of his pockets.
âDonât fucking touch me,â you warn, hating how your voice comes out trembling â weak.
âEasy.â He holds his hands up in surrender. âWasnât planning on it.â
You stand there together for what feels like hours. You will yourself to not let it affect you, setting your jaw to keep your teeth from clattering on account of the cold, allow the wind to blow your hair into your eyes without brushing it away. Even when it begins to rain, you donât move, donât blink even once more than you need to. From the corner of your eye you watch the man shove his hands back in the pockets of the brown leather jacket heâs wearing, and you quietly celebrate that your surroundings are fazing him more than they are you.
âYou knowââ he begins.
âIâm not really looking for a conversation.â
âMe neither,â he immediately counters, suddenly impatient, âso Iâll get right to it: You planning on jumping? Because if you think the waterâs gonna be nice to you, youâve got that wrong. Youâll end up in there feeling everything, that fall isnât gonna do shit.â
Having expected a gentle approach, his bluntness and his tone knock the wind out of you. You cock your jaw, the shame creeping up your body the first bit of warmth youâve felt in a while. Your cold fingers ball to fists as you will yourself not to care. Yes, his words and the way he's shatterĂng your expectations with them sting, but you donât even know this guyâ
âAnd thereâs nothing fuckinâ peaceful about it, itâs just panic. Right before you go too farâŠâ He raises a fist and holds it against the center of his chest, â...thereâs this burning right here thatâs hell.â
âAnd what makes you such an expert?â you finally spit out.
âDied like that a couple times,â he says without waiting a beat.
The casual statement of something so bizarre beats your resolve before you know it, your head turning in his direction. ââA couple timesâ?â
âI, uhâŠâ You watch him hesitate, the moonlight illuminating the tick of his jaw, the bob of his throat as he swallows, the way his chest falls as he sighs, âLetâs just say I canât die.â
Before you can stop yourself, you snort at that. âThat must fucking suck.â
He barks out a laugh, âGot that right.â It startles you when his head suddenly turns to you, when he looks you in the eye for the first time. âBut trust me, being down there isnât much better.â
Thereâs something in the way he looks at you that makes you waver. You canât really place it, or decipher why it makes you want to open up to him. Maybe itâs because youâre freezing and itâs your body betraying you, tricking you into moving so you can generate some warmth, moving your lips to keep them from going blue. Or maybe itâs simply because heâs a stranger and itâs so much easier to be honest when there are no consequences.
âThings just feel soâŠ,â you begin, voice shaky. Every possible way to end the sentence crosses your mind, seemingly all wrong, before you settle on whatâs closest to how you feel, âendless.â
To your relief, he doesnât say anything. Doesnât tell you to give it time that it will get better, or any of the other bullshit youâve heard from all the other people that had been in your life and left a long time ago. You do find something else in the shift in his eyes, something you havenât encountered before.
Understanding.
It might be worse. If anything, itâs overwhelming, making your eyes dart away from his as you sniff.Â
The wind still tugs at you, the waves still hit the rocks, but your moment seems to have passed. Itâs a sobering conclusion, a twisted version of wrong place, wrong time. Or maybe it was him who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, the outcome is the same.
You take a step back, and another, but it takes considerable effort; you hadnât taken your numb legs into consideration. You stumble, falling back on the dewy, cold grass, not quick enough to catch yourself on your hands. With a groan, you move to sit upright.
âShit. Hey, you still with me?â The stranger kneels next to you, fingers lifting your chin to look into your eyes. âJesus, youâre fucking freezing.â
âNo s-sh-hit,â you retort.
He sighs, offering you a hand so he can pull you up. âCâmon, let's get you warmed up.â
â â â â â
Logan.
Thatâs his name.Â
Itâs how he introduced himself, anyway, after he suggested you follow him. To his credit, he did offer to drive you, but you didnât want to leave your car in the parking lot of the lookout. Logan waited 15 minutes for you while you put the blowers on the highest, warmest setting and waited for the feeling to return to your limbs. After, his brown truck led the way here â here being some hole in the wall, 24 hour diner. You could have not followed, but the drive was kind of mesmerizing; the night seemed darker than usual, and Loganâs tail lights served as a lighthouse.
Outside, the diner is all Christmas lights and flashing signs, but the interior is like something straight out of Twin Peaks; booths to the left, red barstools to the right, a girl that looks too pretty and too young to be here standing behind the counter. There were two other patrons you spotted along the way as Logan led you to one of the back booths. Once seated, Logan studied the pamphletsâor pretended to, more like, because as soon as the waitress came up he ordered two whiskeys and nothing else.
Between then and now, as you nursed your drink sip by careful sip, you hadnât learned much more about him other than that he could knock back a glass of whiskey like he got paid to do so. And in truth, you like it this way; preferring silent company, the droning of the machinery behind the counter and the quiet hum of a song on the jukebox next to the entrance. The white noise helps to distract from the white noise in your head. Settling back into the leather cushions of the booth, you let some warmth seep back into your body. Opposite you, Logan does the same.Â
Some moments after you finish your drink, one of the waitresses walks up to your booth to ask you about a refill, like sheâs asked Logan twice now. Youâre handing her the glass when Logan says, âSheâs had enough.â
Your head whips from her to him. âExcuse me?â
He doesnât say anything, and from the corner of your eye, you see the girl leave. With your glass. Loganâs is on his lips, his eyes observing you over the rim, looking at you like heâ Dammit. You sigh deeply, a sense of anger filling you. You donât need this, least of all from him. When you stand from the booth, those eyes follow you, making you voice your observations,
âQuit pitying me, Logan.â
âIâm not,â he says before taking another sip. âYou still have to drive.â
You quirk an eyebrow at him. âAnd you donât?â
Logan shrugs. âItâs different for me.â
Anger is still prevalent in your voice when you ask, âWell, let me guess, itâs another case of âI died like that a couple timesâ?âÂ
He hums.
âAnd how does that work?â
âRegenerative ability,â he sighs. Another sip before he elaborates, âX-Gene.âÂ
The admission makes you plop back down in your seat. Well, that explains things â heâs a mutant. Youâre not familiar with that world, but you know enough to know it meant that. It isnât like you couldnât have deduced it before, but truthfully, you kind of thought he was bullshiting you as part of some tactic. Now, his actions and words make more sense: He really knows what itâs like to... Thatâs why he had that look on his face. Suddenly, you see him in a different lightâ
âNow whoâs pitying who, hmm?â Logan asks, giving you a thin-lipped smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he sets his glass down on the table.
âIâm not, Iâm just⊠processing. So this...â you lift his glass, swirl the contents around, â...doesnât even affect you?â
âIt does. For a few seconds.â He plucks the glass back from your hand, and throws the whiskey back with one gulp. His pupils dilate, pushing the hazel of his irises out until his eyes are almost black for a second, two⊠before going back to normal. âBut if I chugged the bottle, Iâd pass out.â
âWell, so would I,â you say with a chuckle. âSo maybe weâre not that different after all.â
Just as the corner of his mouth lifts, your smile falls, because⊠it isnât true; youâre very different. Youâre pretty sure you donât have what it takes to do what he did tonight. To care enough to do it. To sit with a stranger and hear them bitch and moan about being denied a drink. A feeling creeps up on you, sticky and uncomfortable, like youâve overstayed your welcomeâburdened him.
âI should head home,â you say, standing again.
Lightning fast, Loganâs hand shoots out to close around your wrist. âThat really where youâre going?â
âYes,â you reply. When you pull your hand back, he doesnât let up. You fish your car key out of your pocket with your free hand, voice tighter when you say, âLet me go.â
âJust promise me something,â he says, eyes as dark as theyâd been earlier, yet his drink has gone untouched since. âDonât go back there again.â
âNot making promises I canât keep,â you say, giving him a wry smile. âTo strangers, but least of all to myself.â
He sighs, and lets you pull yourself from his hold.
THE CRAVING
New Years comes and goes, and you quickly discover that it was foolish superstition to think that it might change how you feel.
You find yourself in some club, a drink in each hand. You hate to admit it, but Loganâs words scared you out of your original idea and the only time you can bear to think of how to move on from it is when alcohol soothes the embarrassing grief of your shattered, macabre fantasy. Itâs not a good way to deal with things, but it works.
Thereâs a part of you that welcomes feeling anything at all, but that⊠something inside you is busy trying to squash it.Â
Itâs getting somewhere, because you have no idea how much youâve already had to drink, but youâre buzzing pleasantly. Adding to it, you knock both drinks back, slamming the glasses on the bar before spinning around and facing the crowd of dancing bodies. The music sucks, the dance floor is cramped, youâre tired⊠The truth is that youâre too old for this, but itâs easy to escape here, surrounded by strangers. You clumsily drag the back of your hand over your wet mouth, push your sweaty hair from your eyes, and join them.
The past couple weeks, you found yourself craving something. Contact. And here is where you can get your fill; a hand on your waist, lips on your ear, the music too loud and yourself too drunk to even comprehend whatâs being said, but never more. You want them to get close, but never too close.
After some time â could be an hour, could be 10 minutes â you make your way to the bathroom. Itâs quieter here, the dulled thump of the music making the time you spend there feel slow and syrupy.Â
When you exit the stall, you bump into someone.
Itâs a man. The dark hood over his head obscures his eyes, but you canât help but think heâs looking right at you when a bright, almost unnatural grin appears on his face. It draws you in like a magnet, more so when he says, âNeed something to take the edge off?âÂ
Curiously, you watch as he opens his palm, long fingers unfurling slowly until they reveal a small plastic bag in his hand.Â
âFirst timeâs on the house.â
You have no idea what it is exactly, but your eyes widen. This is new territory for you, and all the possibilities it opens up are suddenly invading your mind. As if on auto-pilot, you reach for the place where you keep your money, the sound of the door opening completely lost on you.
A hand closes around your bicep, pulling you aside with a quick yank of an arm.
âShe isnât interested, pal.âÂ
Itâs another man, who effortlessly tucks you half behind him. Before you can protest beyond an indignant huff, thereâs a sound, like a sword being unsheathed, and you catch a flash of red, and of knives. Frowning, you try to get a better look, but your view is obscured by the manâs shoulder. The hooded man seems undeterred, regarding the weapons with the same sickening grin, before leaving the bathroom, muttering something that you donât understand on the way out. The sword sound returns, the man twists around, andâ
âLogan?â you slur in disbelief.Â
Logan doesnât reply, instead takes hold of your arm again, making you follow him out of the bathroom. There he stops the two of you to murmur something to a woman wearing the same clothes as him, before tugging you along again. Youâre stumbling after him on account of his pace and the iron grip he has on you as he leads you to the back door. He pushes it open with enough force to make the hinges creak, a gust of wind blowing in your face. Itâs a contrast to go from the crowded, sweaty club to the silent, cold back-alley where tall brick walls and employee cars cage you in. You shake your arm and Loganâs grip loosens â another and he lets you go.
âHow did you even findââ You cut yourself off, eyes widening, âOh, my god, are you following me?â
Logan scoffs, narrowing his eyes. âOh, please, do you think I have time to follow you around all day?â
âYouâre here, arenât you? You and your fuckingâŠ,â you gesture wildly into the air at him, âsavior complex.â
âI work here,â he growls. When you give him a look, he adds, âItâs temporary. âSides, me and my savior complex are the reason that creep isnât selling god knows what to you in that bathroom right now!â His voice is a roar, echoing off the walls around you.
âMaybe I wanted that creep to sell god knows what to me in that bathroom,â you say, doing a poor impression of his voice, before turning and walking away from him.
Logan sighs. âWhere are you going?â
âIâm leaving.â
âAnd then what, huh?â
âI donât fucking know, Logan,â you say, twisting around to face him again, arms spread out by your side. âFigure out a new way out of this.â
âYeah? Third timeâs the charm?â
âWhy do you even care, huh? You donât even know me,â you say. Almost immediately, you let out a bitter laugh as your own words hit your ears, a sad realization dawning on you. âBut I guess that makes two of us.â
Itâs not like you expected him to, but he doesnât answer.
âYou know I used to like myself? I used to smile, I used to have friends, I used to be more sober than drunk. But this feeling, it takes⊠everything.â You raise a fist, hold it to the center of your chest. âIt takes everything I love, pushes away everyone I love, including myself. It eats me up, and wants more and more, until Iâm something Iâm not and until Iâm so far away from that version of myself, my old self, that it feels easier to just fuckingââ you pause with a wet gasp for air.
âDestroy yourself,â Logan finishes for you.
Your chest heaves, an unshed tear clings to your lash line. âExactly.â
He takes a step closer to you. âLet me take you home,â he says, voice gentle.Â
You should hate the implications of that gentleness, but you donât. In your drunk state of mind, itâs easier to admit itâs nice that someone understands, that someoneâs there to stop you from going too farâŠÂ
Tomorrow, when some of your pragmatism returns, youâll deny this embarrassing thought ever occurred; if relying on other people worked, it would have worked a long time ago, and you wouldnât be standing here with him. If youâre lucky, you might even forget this entirely, and wake up with a hangover that youâll enjoy a little too much because it feels like a punishmentâ
âWhat about your job?â you ask with a sniff.
Loganâs palm finds the space between your shoulder blades with a gentle push, the warmth of it seeping in through your clothes, and he leads you to his truck. âTheyâll manage without me.â
â â â â â
When you wake, your world is tilted sideways, a blanket is pulled up to your chin and there's a pillow under your head. Theyâre not your own; the blanket is itchy and the pillowâs too small. When you try to move your legs, they stick uncomfortably to the material below them, and you realize youâre on a leather couch. You squint at the light that comes in from a window across from youâ
âMorninâ, sunshine.â
The voice startles you, eyes shifting to focus on the source: A man lying on his front on the floor, chin in his hands as he kicks his feet back and forth in the air.Â
âWish I could say itâs a pleasure, but it hasnât been very pleasurable. Youâve been barfing up the place since the moment you stepped inside. Kept poor Al up all night. Her ears are sensitive,â he adds with a whisper. âBut donât worry, she left about an hour ago.â
âWho are you?â you slur, blinking against the light.
âLogan.â He sighs when you frown. âI know, not how you remember. This is what I look like during the day; blessed with incredible good looks at night and, well,â he gestures at his face thatâs covered in scars, "this, during the day. Bit of a reverse Princess Fiona situationââ
âCut it out, Wade,â comes the sharp protest from next to you. With considerable effort, you turn your head and see the actual Logan, slumped back in a recliner next to the couch, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes while motioning for the other man to go.
âIâll let you two talk.â Wade winks.
Logan stands when Wade does, walking from your field of view. Your head is scrambling to catch up, trying to piece together what happened last night, but only coming up with bits and pieces.
âHow are you feeling?â Logan asks as he makes his way back to you, handing you a glass of water.
You flinch when the front door closes behind Wade with a bang, before taking the glass from Logan and taking a few thankful sips. âLike shit.â
âYeah,â is all he says as he sits back down.
âWhatââ
âYou fell asleep in the car. Didnât know where to take you, figured the couch was the safest place.â
âOhâŠ,â you say, voice small.Â
You try not to think about being so wasted that you had to be carried out of Loganâs car, or about what Wade said earlier about the things that happened as soon as you stepped inside the apartment. During your silence, Loganâs fingers fiddle with the armrest, before his hand balls into a fist, and it unlocks something in your hazy memory.
âI have the weirdest memory of you having⊠a sword?â
You watch as Loganâs lips purse in amusement. His tongue rolls around in his mouth, seemingly contemplating something, before saying, âYou probably saw these.â He holds up his fist, flexing his forearm before three blades shoot from between his knuckles like claws, accompanied by a shing!
âJesus fucking Christ,â you startle, spilling some water on your blanket. Your head spins with your hangover and the bizarity of the situation. If it didnât sound so much like how it did in your memory, you might think you were still drunk.Â
Thereâs so many things you want to ask, your intrigue almost winning out over your hangover until the sharp start of a headache gives you pause. Instead, you take another sip of water before rubbing your temple.
âItâs a story for another time,â Logan says, like he can read your mind, and you want to ask him that, too. His claws retreat, the cuts they leave between his knuckles immediately smoothing over until theyâre gone. âI gotta go check if I still have a job.â
The words make you feel warm all over, the memory of your back-alley conversation coming back in full force. The thought of the things you admitted to him and that you put him in the position that he had to risk his job for you make you feel even warmer, your gaze no doubt laced with embarrassment and worry when you look at him.
ââS not your fault,â Logan assures, standing and fishing his car key from the pocket of his jeans. âYou donât have to rush but um, make sure you close the door behind you on the way out. Gets jammed sometimes.â
âYeah, okay,â you say, watching as he makes his way to the front door.Â
He takes a final glance at you over his shoulder, then leaves, accompanied by a bang.
THE PUZZLE
It takes you a little over a week to muster up the courage to go back. Admittedly, your courage is aided by another, foreign feeling. You donât have a name for it yet, or maybe youâre afraid to call it what it is, but somewhere along the week, you became consumed with the thought that feeling like you did wasnât all there was. That there is something beyond this.Â
Perhaps foreign wasnât the right way to describe it, because it is something youâve felt before â itâs just been long dormant. The last time, it lasted about a month before it all came crashing down, and you swore you wouldnât fall for it again, but you canât help it. The feelingâs too sweet, and the idea that thereâs still some baser instinct willing you to keep fighting for yourself makes you feel like the sun is shining on you.Â
So yeah, maybe youâre just having one of your good weeks, where the thing sleeps â quiet while its presence still simmers. But you figured nowâs your chance to take advantage of its unguarded moment.
Sneaking into the building is surprisingly easy. It helps that it isnât anything fancy. You wanted to forego the humiliation of ringing the bell and him not letting you in, but standing in front of the door now, panting after climbing three flights of stairs, you donât know if this is much better.Â
Just when youâre about to knock, the door swings open. In the opening, Logan has one arm in his jacket, head twisted to watch the other thatâs caught halfway in the sleeve. It takes him almost bumping into you to realize your presence. âShit, sorry.â He steadies himself with a hand on your arm, the touch leaving you as fast as it appeared.
âHi,â you breathe, taking a step back to give him a little more space.
He nods in greeting. âBrings you here?â
It takes you a moment, caught off guard by him skipping over pleasantries and cutting right to the chase, despite your best intentions; itâs not that heâs ever been any different in his interactions with you.
âI came by because I, um, owe you an apology, for my behavior at your workplace and for, you knowâŠ,â you trail off, gesturing at the door.
âBarfing up the place!â comes a shout from inside the apartment.Â
Loganâs eyes close with a sigh, before he steps into the hallway with you and closes the door with a bang.Â
âThat,â you finish sheepishly. âIâm really sorry.â
He nods in acknowledgement.
âI also wanted to ask, um, if you want to come with me to get a coffee. To make it up to you.â
Logan just looks at you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he crosses his thick arms in front of his chest. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly. You hate how he somehow can see right through you, how he makes you elaborate, and honest.
âI want to quit drinking,â you say, fiddling with the sleeve of your coat. âIt doesnât make me better, and when I donât do it I finally feel a little⊠normal. Maybe coffeeâs technically just as bad, but itâs the only thing thatâs currently acting like⊠like a reverse gateway drink? And I feel like youâre the only person I know that might get that feeling ofââ
âI do,â Logan cuts in, voice softer than before â assuring. His arms drop from where theyâre crossed and he starts making his way to the stairs. âLetâs go.â
â â â â â
You donât know this coffee place, and from the way he looks around and shifts around in a chair that might be a bit too small for him, neither does Logan. Main reason you picked it is because the booths remind you a little too much of a bar â and you like the tall windows. The coffeeâs pretty decent.
âDid they fire you?â you ask, picking at a loose corner of one of the laminated menus before setting it back in its holder.
âBoss commended me for helping a customer, but not so much for leaving before my shift ended,â Logan replies. âGot off with a warning.â
âIâm sorry.â
âSaid that already, and I accepted,â he says. When he takes a sip of the coffee, he winces. âNo need to worry about it anymore, okay? I would do it again.â
You nod, folding your hands around the warm cup in front of you.
âBut, um, Wade hasnât shut up about⊠the incident.â Thereâs a different tone to his voice, like heâs trying to lighten the mood. âHis words.â
âYou know, I kind of get the feeling that Wade doesnât shut up about a lot of things.â It comes out a little meaner than you intend, but it makes Logan laugh and finally slump back in his chair a little.Â
âYouâre a quick study.â
Offering him a short smile in return, you continue with the other real reason you came to see him, before you chicken out. âI also stopped by because I wanted to, uh⊠because I realized I never really⊠I never⊠I never thanked you, for um⊠Andââ
With a shake of his head, Logan sits upright. âYâdonâtââ
To your horror, your eyes brim with tears, âLogan, Iâm supposed to be deadââ
âSo am I,â he counters. He lets the words hang between the two of you for a moment, until you look at him, before he continues, âIâve been where you are. Past it, even.â
You donât know what to say to that, if the lump in your throat will even permit you to speak, but itâs impossible to look away from him. Loganâs gaze is piercing, frown ever present, but itâs not from anger. Instead, itâs like heâs searching for something, the right thing, to say. The silence doesnât bother you; if anything, it makes his words seem more genuine when he does speak,
âI had someone who was annoying enough to not give up on me when I could really use it. If getting a coffee with you thatâs, franklyâŠ,â he makes a face as he pauses, âa horrible excuse for a coffee, helps⊠I can do that. I want to do that.â
The corner of your mouth lifts as you blink away your tears. âWas it Wade?â
Logan lets out a chuckle, and itâs honest â fond. âYeah.â
âFigured,â you say. âHow did you meet him?â
Across from you, Logan stills. You swallow thickly, adjusting yourself in your chair. Itâs an innocent question, but maybe it isnât something heâd like to revisit right now. Loganâs mug squeaks when he grips it tighter, and he looks at you with something like defeatâÂ
It makes you deflate. This must be what you looked like the night you metâŠ
Thereâs no way to have prepared for what he tells you next: That he came from another timeline about three months ago, that he and Wade saved this one from being destroyed and almost got killed in the process, that he has nothing to go back to after the death of his team, so he stayed here.Â
Thereâs hesitation in it, like he isnât telling you the whole story, though you donât comment on it. He doesnât owe you anything and youâre too busy putting all the pieces in the Logan-shaped puzzle in your mind together; his words and actions towards you are starting to make more and more sense.
âItâs a very brave thing the two of you did,â you say when heâs finished.
âHmm, it was all Wade,â Logan muses. âHe did it all for the people he cares about.â
âIâm sure you would have done the same if you were in his place.â
At that, he lets out a dry laugh with absolutely no joy behind it. âDo me a favor, donât put me on a pedestal.â
You frown, but before you can comment, he stands. A knot forms in your stomach, worried youâve offended him, but he clears up the uncertainty immediately.
âI gotta go but um, Wadeâs friendsâ,â he stops himself, correcting, âour friends are coming over to watch a movie, next week, 7:30. I have no idea what crap theyâre going to be watching but⊠itâs nice. Itâll be nice to be around good people.â Logan doesnât wait for your answer, simply takes his wallet from his pocket and leaves enough money to cover the bill.
âWait, no, I invited you,â you protest. âI shouldââ
âYou can pay next time.âÂ
When you nod, he says his goodbyes with a jerk of his head and makes his way to the door.
â â â â â
You see Logan two more times for coffee that week. He never lets you pay.
THE PANTRY
ââbut itâs the best one!â Wade protests, DVD in hand.
âThey fly a car into space, Wade,â Laura sighs.
âLaunched off a jet,â he corrects. Like it helps.
You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, hiding the smile that appears at everyoneâs babbling. Unbeknownst to you, you had found yourself invited to a double feature night, with Wade as the self proclaimed DVDJ. The credits had barely started rolling on A Good Day To Die Hard, or Wade had another DVD at the ready. It was met with the same amount of enthusiasm as when he presented the first.
It hadnât been easy to make yourself go to this tonight. On your way, youâd thought of turning around at almost every step. Of course, that was all before you knew it would be this fun, and that youâd be relieved you hadnât canceled last minute. Even meeting everyone hadnât been as bad as you feared.Â
Thereâs Peter, Wadeâs friend. Ellie, another one of Wadeâs friends. Yukio, Ellieâs girlfriend. Laura, Loganâs daughter. Mary Puppins, Wadeâs small, disgusting but adorable dog, who had greeted you with equal amounts saliva and enthusiasm, before falling asleep next to the TV, completely unbothered by the commotion. Unlike Althea, Logan and Wadeâs blind roommate, who had taken one listen to the gaggle of voices and left. The elusive Vanessa, Wadeâs ex-but-we-might-get-back-together you heard about a couple times, wasnât there.
Logan had been right, it was nice to be surrounded by good people. Especially good people who were⊠unconventional. It made joining them less complicated, less performative, and as the evening progressed it made you a participant instead of a silent observer. Wade even called you, âgood for the group dynamic,â and it made you beam with pride.
âDonât they have like, rockets attached to the car?â Ellie questions, to which Yukioâs eyebrows knit together.
âExactly!â Wade exclaims, mistaking her confusion for enthusiasm. âCitizen Kane wishes.â
Thereâs more grumbling from everyone when Wade pops the DVD into the player, and he grumbles something back about how Logan would back him up if he wasnât in the bathroom because he, quote unquote, goes way back with some of these dudes.
Youâre pretty sure heâs the only one who knows what heâs even talking about.
An empty bowl of popcorn rests in your lap, and as you put it on the table, you notice how sticky and greasy your fingers and palms are. When the opening credits begin to roll, you get up to wash your hands, assuring Wade he doesnât need to pause the movie before you go.
The apartmentâs small, so it isnât far to the kitchen, but itâs nice to stretch your legs. You can still hear the sounds from movie night; tell-tale action movie music, comments of disbelief and Wade shutting them down. Theyâre more faint, though, more so when you turn the tap on and wash your hands.
Right as youâre finished, you hear a dull thud. You turn the water off, head tilted and at attention while you dry your hands. Thereâs another sound, like a muffled groan. Itâs coming from the pantry, you realize, noting that the door is slightly ajar. Thereâs a shing! sound followed by a distressed grunt, and before you know it youâre walking over, wrapping your fingers around the door to pull it openâ
Youâre not sure what it was you were expecting, but it wasnât this. Loganâs sitting on the floor, uncharacteristically small, curled up against one of the walls. His chest is heaving, shoulders all but going up to his ears with how heâs trying to draw in breaths. Next to him, his fist is balled against the hardwood, claws buried in the floor.
Fuck.
Dropping to your knees, you wedge yourself between his. âItâs okay, youâre having a panic attack,â you explain, your hands landing on his shoulders with a light shake. âYou need to breathe. Iâll help you, just look at me.â
Loganâs head stays tipped down, a deep, rattling breath sailing from his mouth as he curls further in on himself.
âHey!â you say sharply, cupping his jaw with two hands and tilting his face up, âLook at me.âÂ
Loganâs eyes are wet when they meet yours, moving frantically as they search your face, tears spilling over when he blinks. Something changes in his gaze, like he finally sees itâs you, and his bottom lip begins to tremble. His hand lifts from where itâs buried in the floor, clutching onto your wrist like a lifeline.
âBreathe,â you instruct, trying not to flinch at the sharp claws in front of you. He doesnât catch on immediately, so you overdo the purse of your lips when you blow out a breath before exaggerating an inhale through your nose, showing him what to do. It starts off shaky, a fresh set of tears falling from Loganâs eyes as he does as you instruct, but after a couple of times you find a rhythm together. The silver between his knuckles slowly disappears. âThere you go, good job. Keep going.â
You sit like that, until the wild shift of his eyes stops, his pulse steadies beneath your fingertips, and eventually his eyes close with a deep exhale. His grip on you loosens and you take it as your cue to let go of him, slumping back against the wall opposite him with a sigh of relief. The both of you catch your breath, sitting together in silence until Logan breaks it.
âCame outta nowhere⊠suddenly I was back there⊠letting them down.â
âIt caught you off guard, it happensââ
âI let them get killed,â he says, voice raw. âThey were likeâ They were my family, they trusted me to be there for them and I⊠I was too caught up in my own bullshit. I should have been with them, I should be dead with them.â
Loganâs tears still come, but the words almost sound reverent; as if saying them out loud just to punish himself with his own shortcomings is a balm. Heâs talking about his team from there, you realize, and something clicks. All this time, you thought this was about him being unable to die due to his mutation, but itâs more than that. Itâs shame, remorse, grief, survivorâs guilt, all wrapped into one.
Itâs the final piece of your mind puzzle that makes his picture appear.
âHowâ How can I ever atone for that?â he asks. âHow can I everââ
âLogan, you can't change your past,â you interrupt carefully. âYou made your choices and they made theirs, and you honored them byâ byâŠstepping up to the task, by doing what you did with Wade.â
âWhat if it wasnât enough?â
âWhat if it was?â you counter. Your hand finds his knee with a squeeze, before adding, âYou did what they would have done. And now you⊠you need to allow yourself to honor their memory without feeling like you have to destroy yourself to do it. You deserve that.â
Logan blinks at you, eyes still glossy. He looks devastated yet calmer than before, like the emotion is still there, but displaced. For a good while, you sit with him like that while his sniffles lessen and his breathing returns to normal⊠until thereâs a loud explosion coming from the living room. Itâs followed by cheers and hollers, and youâre both suddenly reminded of where you are.Â
âCâmon,â you say, patting Loganâs knee before using it as leverage to haul yourself up with a groan. You give him room by holding the door open for him. âBetter get back before we miss the good stuff.â
Still on the floor, Logan exhales heavily. âThink this was the good stuff.â
â â â â â
Three weeks later, on your way to your third movie night, you catch Wade and Vanessa making out in the building hallway.Â
It stops you dead in your tracks and makes for an awkward meeting with Wadeâs mystery woman, who is beautiful but very direct when she asks you what the fuck youâre staring at. Wade certainly has a type when it comes to the company he keeps⊠He quickly shushes the situation, introducing the two of you, and it immediately makes Vanessaâs expression twist into recognition.Â
âNice to meet you,â she says, followed by an apologetic smile.Â
You respond in kind.Â
When Wade tugs at her jacket impatiently, they brush past you and make their way to the exit. âSee you around!â she throws over her shoulder.
A grin forms on your lips, realizing what you just witnessed, and you race up the stairs. With Wade gone, youâre not sure if there will be a movie, but at least you have gossip to share with your friends.
THE MEETING
April flies by, rolls into May, and thingâs are⊠okay.
With some help, you find a therapist. Itâs good, sheâs good, but itâs difficult to be confronted with things that are painful, week after week, and to keep reminding yourself itâs all part of the process youâre going through.
Last week, after a particularly difficult session, youâd left her office being auto-piloted by dark feelings, like they knew exactly when to strike. You had turned corners and crossed streets, wandering as you stewed on everything youâd discussed â like your mind was playing a constant loop of your most painful moments. It was a small miracle you had heard your phone, and that you had the presence of mind to thumb the green button.
Youâd answered without saying a word.
âGot any plans?â Logan had asked on the other side of the line.
âNo,â youâd replied, coming back to yourself a little bit at the sound of his voice.
âAlâs making her meatballs â she and Wade canât agree on if theyâre famous or infamous. Thought you might like to come. If it tastes like shit, weâll order in.â
Youâd hummed, managing to ask, âWhat time?â
It had stayed quiet on the other end, and thatâs how youâd known he was onto you, could picture the pinch of his brows, his lips forming a thin line. For the first time, you welcomed itâwanted so badly to reach through the phone, shake his shoulders, ask for his help and accept it, like he had done with you weeks ago.Â
âSounds to me like now might be good.â
âYeah,â you had agreed, the constricting tightness in your chest easing up. âYeah, Iâll be there soon.â Youâd released a shuddering breath, ear still pressed to the phone as you took in your surroundings before you auto-piloted yourself to a different destination.Â
âLogan?â
âStill here.â
âThank you for calling.â
ââcourse. Get here soon, Iâll stay on the phone.â
The afternoon had ended with Logan and yourself allowing Althea to boss you around in the small apartmentâs kitchen, rolling meatballs, sharing stories â Altheaâs recollection of something that happened to her in her 20s that involved her stealing a police horse while wearing nothing but a thong, made you cry from laughing.
The meatballs were the best you ever had, though you couldnât be sure if they actually were, or if it was just the taste of the moment that was better than anything had been that day.Â
Sometime after dinner, Logan had nudged your shoulder to show you a little plastic chip. He flashed it at you long enough that you could read the words one month, before he pocketed it again. Then he suggested you come with him next week.Â
âI thought it was bullshit too, but it helps,â heâd explained. âFigured I couldnât continue to drink whatever that stuff is you call coffee to⊠avoid my problems.â
You contemplated his suggestion. Things were going well for you in that regard, but your therapist had also recommended you go to one of these things, even if it was just for the community aspect of it. It just made it so⊠official. Your problems, but most of all, your recovery. You werenât good at keeping promises to yourself, and this felt like a big commitment. Not to mention the speeches and other peopleâs problems...
But as Logan told you more about it, the location, how it had been for him, you sensed something else between the lines: He wasnât just asking for you, he was also asking for himself. Maybe⊠this was his way of telling you he needed some support.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself inside a high school gymnasium a week later. Itâs as gloomy as you expected. Slick floors, gray fold-out chairs set in neat rows, buzzing lights in a high ceiling, and a slightly raised podium with a whiteboard that reads a welcome message in capital letters.Â
Unsure of what to do, you follow Logan as he weaves through the crowd to find a seat. As you do, it strikes you that thereâs a pretty even distribution of people, with many genders, ages and lifestyles represented. Eventually you take a seat; not quite in the back, but definitely not in the front.Â
The whole thing goes by in a blur, but where you expected to be overwhelmed, you feel⊠connected. Here you are, surrounded by people with different backgrounds, different lives, but all their stories have something you can relate to. Where you thought addiction was the common denominator, itâs actually the desire to turn your lives around that unites you the most.
âBefore we end the night I want to circle back to last week, when we spoke about goals, or things we want to work towards,â says the woman leading the meeting â youâre ashamed to admit you already forgot her name. âDoes anyone want to share something about that?â
It takes a lot to hide your surprise when Logan raises his hand.Â
âLogan! Come on up!â She sounds as surprised as you feel, beckoning him to her.
The plastic chair he sits on creaks when he stands and his boots squeak against the shiny floor as he does as she asks. He looks so out of place on a podium; both larger than life behind the lectern and lost to the space of the stage. He clears his throat as he retrieves a paper from his pocket and unfolds it while his eyes scan the room until they land on yours. You give him a little nod of encouragement, and it kicks him into gear.
âNot good at this stuff, so Iâm going to keep it brief,â he starts.Â
It earns him a chuckle or two from the other attendees, and you can tell he doesnât expect it when he looks up from his paper. Your hands clasp together with nerves as you watch him divide his weight from one leg to another, before focussing his gaze back down.
âMy life has changed a lot over the past few months. For the first time in a long time, itâs not all bad. Coming here has been good. Iâm starting to feel more like I did beforeââÂ
He stops his monotonous droning with a frustrated sigh, stuffing the piece of paper in his pocket and sounding considerably more lively after.Â
âI have people I care about again, and um, it scares me. âCause I donât want to let them down, and every day I feel like I will because of all of my⊠past shit.â He pauses and swallows hard before he continues, âThey show me so much kindness and understanding, that⊠that even though itâs fucking hard, I want to be able to see myself the way they see me. And allow them to care about me without feeling like I⊠have to earn it all the time, without destroying myself to do it.âÂ
You exhale for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
âSo, thatâs what Iâm currently working on.â Logan sighs. âThatâs it. Thank you.â
A small applause follows, and you quickly unclasp your hands to join in.
Your palms hurt after.
â â â â â
âIt was really nice, what you said in there,â you say, fingers caressing a little plastic chip of your own that you keep safe in your coat pocket. You havenât felt proud of yourself in a while, but tonight you do.
The evening is nice, the setting sun bathing the city in hues of orange and pink. Your pace is slow and comfortable, your arm occasionally brushing Loganâs when you make room for all the other pedestrians. You didnât plan on him walking you home, but he insisted and you enjoy the company â it makes you a little sad when you turn onto your street.
Logan scoffs in reply.Â
âIâm being serious,â you say, knocking your elbow against his arm on purpose now. âIt was nice for people to hear a guy like you say those things. Iâm proud of you.â
You swear he blushes. âA guy like me, huh?â he asks, almost amused.
Itâs your turn to scoff. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âA mutant?â He looks at you from the corner of his eye.
âNo,â you say, because itâs not what you meant, but the hint of seriousness in his voice and the fact heâs not entirely wrong make you track back. âWell, maybe that, too, but I meant someone who looks like you, allowing themselves to be vulnerable. Sets a nice example.â
Logan doesnât shoot your comments down like you expect. Instead, he seems to consider your words, maybe he even silently accepts the compliment. âThink you have some things to say that could set a nice example, too.â
âMaybe next time.â
During the comfortable silence that follows, youâre reminded of something youâve been considering for weeks now. You hadnât paid much attention to it since that night, but as you worked through the feelings that got you to that point, the question kept coming back.
âIâve been wondering something,â you begin. âThe night we met... What were you doing at the lookout?â
Logan glances at you, contemplating the question. âWhen I had just, um, gotten here, it wasnât always easy to adjust, you know? So I went to all these places that I knew from back there, to ground myself, to see that things may be different, but that theyâre not that different.â
âYou went there on your side?â
He hums.
âBy yourself?â
He hums again.
âDid youâŠâ You hesitate to finish your sentence, both because youâre not sure if you have any right to ask and because youâve reached your building. You stop walking, and Logan follows your lead.Â
âNo, no, no, I⊠I canât explain it, itâs just one of those places I was always drawn to,â Logan says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans with a shrug. His brows furrow suddenly, his mind seemingly lost in something before his eyes flick back to yours. âThink it took me coming over here to find reason in it.â
Itâs a thought thatâs equal parts sad and lovely.Â
The silence that follows hangs between you, thick with something you canât place, but Logan doesnât look away from you, eyes scanning your face before they land back on yours. You canât help thinking that maybe this is how he does it, and the question comes out before you can help it,
âIs mind reading part of the X-Gene thing?â
His eyes widen â amusement or surprise, you canât say. âIt can be.âÂ
âCan you do it?â
âNo,â he says. âAnd itâs for the best, fucking hurts when you canât control it.â Then the start of a smile begins to form on his lips. ââsides, I donât know if I would have a lot of⊠consideration for peopleâs boundaries.â
It makes you chuckle. âRight. Not to mention some minds are probably a lot â imagine reading Wadeâs mind.â
âHurts to even imagine,â Logan says, gesturing for you to be quiet as he winces, but a smile breaks through anyway. When your shared laughter dies down, he jerks his chin at the building behind you, âThis your place?â
âWhaâ?â Going home long forgotten in the moment, you glance over your shoulder. âOh! Yes.â
âAll right,â he nods. âSee you next week?â
âDefinitely,â you reply.
âOh,â Logan says right before you turn around. âBring coffee? You owe me.â
You make a face at him. âYou donât have toâ Iâll get you something else, I know you donât like it.â
âI like it when I drink it with you.â
Itâs incredibly hard to hide your grin. âOkay, Iâll bring coffee. See you next week, Logan.â
âSee you.âÂ
He lingers, watching you climb the steps, waiting until the door opens after you turn your key in the lock. Itâs not until you close the door, when you can only make out his silhouette through the patterned glass window in it, that he walks off.
THE SUMMER
Walking back from a very successful job interview, you find yourself on your way to your friends with a big, plastic bottle of coke under your arm. Itâs a warm feeling to know that youâll soon have a job that suits you and that you have people to celebrate with; you look forward to seeing them and sharing this with them.
Youâre invited inside with open arms, tight hugs, exclaimed praise and congratulations, and it makes you giddy, a feeling so foreign that you wish you could bottle it up right this instant. With a grin, you shake the Coca Cola bottle, before twisting the cap off. You let out an excited shout as you watch the foam shoot out from the top, bubbles and dark liquid pulsing down the neck of the bottle as cheers surround you.
Itâs not champagne, but Althea grumbles about the soda ruining her floors, Wade gets mismatched glasses from the cupboard, and Logan clinks his glass to yours and tells you heâs proud of you.
Itâs way better than champagne.
â â â â â
Youâre in serious, desperate need of a new placeâŠÂ
The August heat is relentless, and the entire buildingâs AC isnât working. Itâs with considerable effort that you manage to make your way to your friendsâ place, the promise of a constant, cold stream of wind the only thing that keeps you going. But when the front door opens, it isnât with the welcoming, cool waft of air you were hoping for. Instead, thereâs no temperature change, only Wade in his underwear.
âNo.â Itâs a little embarrassing how you literally pout, but these are desperate times. âHere, too?â
âIf it wasnât this fucking hot Iâd be offended by that greeting.â He sighs. âCome in.â
Slightly defeated, you shuffle past the threshold, while Wade lingers. Mary Puppins trots by, an ice-pack wrapped in a towel secured on her back, and you catch a glimpse of Logan exiting the bedroom. Heâs in black shorts and a ribbed, sleeveless shirt, and with a desperate groan, he lets himself fall back into the recliner in the living room.Â
âTried everything, thereâs no fixing that fucking thing.â
Wade makes a face, âListen, I know what youâre thinking: Wadeâs in his underwear, Loganâs emerging from the bedroom⊠But we didnât fuck, itâs not that kind of stââ
âWho are you talking to?â you ask from behind him, glancing over his shoulder into the empty hallway.
âNo oneâYou!â The door closes with a bang.
Confused, you walk further into the apartment. âWell, telling me you didnât is just going to make me think that you did.â Wade darts past you and takes a seat on the couch, but you hang back and lean against the kitchen table to avoid sitting on leather.
Wade suddenly turns to face you. âDid I ever tell you about our time in The Void?â
âWade,â Logan warns.
Wadeâs eyes are sparkling with mischief and you canât deny how fun it is to indulge the way he pushes Loganâs buttons. Itâs a good distraction from how youâre drenched in sweat. And youâre actually curious.
You play your part, letting out a faux-scandalised gasp. âDid you..?â
âOh, yeah, baby. Wolverine goes both ways. All the ways, really.â He grins. âWeâre so alike.â
âShut up. Both of you.â Logan groans, lacking any real threat as he adjusts in his seat and wipes some sweat off his brow. âItâs too fucking hot to be annoyed.â
It isnât lost on you he doesnât deny a thing.
â â â â â
Apartments look weird with nothing in them.
Itâs what crossed your mind after you finished packing up your place three days ago, and it crosses your mind now as you look into the open space of your new one from the doorway. Itâs a pleasant, late summer day; perfect weather to move, which was on your schedule for today.
âIncoming!â comes from behind you, followed by quick, heavy steps.
You jump aside as Ellie sails through the door, carefully setting a big box marked âKitchenâ down in its designated area, followed by Logan who is balancing three boxes at once. After a beat, Yukio follows, holding a single table lamp in her hand. It takes some effort not to laugh, not just because of how funny it looks, but also because you relate; after all the exhausting late nights you pulled packing up, thatâs also the kind of energy youâre bringing to this.
Itâs nice of them to help, and instead of shoving that feeling away in fear, you allow yourself to bask in it. You donât get long, however, because more help has just arrived.
Wade. With Vanessa. Hands interlocked.
It draws everyoneâs eyes to the doorway. Wade looks almost bashful, and it baffles you how someone who can say the most insane things unprompted, all without batting an eye, could blush while holding hands with a girl he likes. To his credit, he shakes it off quickly.
âAll right, all right,â he says. âStop ogling me and my girlfriend and get back to work everyone!â
â â â â â
âSo it was like an experiment?â you ask, stirring the pot on your stove before taking a careful bite of food off your wooden spoon.
Tonightâs your first night hosting at your new place â Family Dinner, Wade had dubbed it. With fall setting in, you had an idea of what to make, but it still made you nervous to have everyone in your space. Logan saw right through you, offering to come over early to help you prepare.Â
Once he had arrived, it hadnât taken long for him to admit he wasnât much of a cook, so he mainly chopped vegetables as you chatted; you about your new place, Logan about his new job as a boxing instructor, Laura going off to college. You donât remember exactly how the subject of his adamantium came up, but he was telling you freely about it.
âThey needed someone who could regenerate fast enough to bond with it,â he explains. âI was in a dark place. Figured I didnât have anything to lose if it didnât work.â
You nod in understanding. âDo you⊠remember much about it?â You put your spoon down, then put the lid back on the pan.Â
Loganâs knife stops hitting the cutting board. âYeah, I⊠I remember every second of it.â
You look at him then. His eyes are still cast down at his task. Unsure of what to say, you think about what youâd want to hear, and you find it might be best to say nothing at all. Instead, your hand finds his shoulder. Loganâs head turns to you, and you feel like the look you share is more important than anything you couldâve told him. His hand covers yours with an appreciative squeeze.Â
âBut Iâm trying to leave that there so I can focus on remembering what happens to me here.â As soon as heâs said it, his hand quickly slips off yours, adding, in a rush, âHere in this timeline, I mean.âÂ
You smile at him, but a strange feeling settles in the pit of your stomach. âThat sounds like a great idea.â
â â â â â
âI need your help with something,â you say, balancing your phone between your ear and your shoulder while you turn a birthday card over in your hand. Deciding you donât like it, you throw it back on the pile of cards and continue your grocery shopping.
âJust say the word,â comes Loganâs reply from the other end.
âI need you to steal something out of the apartment for me.â Thereâs a silence, and you purposely let the feeling of trepidation linger.
âAm gonna need you to say a little more than just that.â
You laugh, âWadeâs been talking about getting a little frame for his polaroid. You know, the polaroid that you held on to for him in The Void, after the two of you fuââ
âYes, I know the one,â he interjects with a huff. He pauses, sighs, then says, âConsider it done.â
THE PARTY
âThere you are!â Wade shouts after he opens the door. He pulls you into a hug that you return with a wide smile. Over his shoulder, you see that the apartmentâs crowded, bustling with people who are there for his birthday party.
âI got you something,â you say, offering the small package to him after you step inside and hang up your coat.
âWouldnât have let you in if you hadnât,â he admits as he closes the door behind you with a bang. Wade takes the package from your hand, shaking it next to his ear but hearing it make no sound in response. âIs it a cock ring?â
You canât help but laugh at that. âUnfortunately, they were all sold out.â
âThey always are,â he says, making a disappointed face. Bottom lip tucked between your teeth, you watch as he tears at the wrapping paper to reveal his gift. He makes another face when he sees it. âWell, now I feel like an asshole. This is really nice.â
âLogan helped me kidnap it,â you explain, pointing at the picture. âAnd the little red hearts on the frame, well, theyâre your color, but they also reminded me of how much you care about people.â
When he looks at you after, itâs with genuine emotion⊠but Wade is Wade. âNever thought Iâd say this, but Iâm kind of happy you walked in here barfing up the place.â
A strange mix of embarrassment and gratitude claws its way up your neck. âThank you.â
âWe should take a new one,â he decides suddenly, pointing at the picture. âYou both should be in it.â His head turns, watching as Logan approaches the two of you. âBut letâs be realistic, his shoulders are so broad he wouldnât even fit in the frame, much less his bulââ
âStop talking about my dick, Wade,â Logan snaps.
âI was saying only good things! Jeez, so sensitiveâŠâ Wade turns, putting the picture on the kitchen table behind him where it joins all the other gifts.
âDid he like it?â Logan asks, voice low.
âYeah,â you smile.
âGood,â he replies. âWas a nice idea.â
You eye all the other gifts, some clearer who they are from than others. âWhat did you get him?â
The corner of Loganâs mouth lifts as he points at a roll of silver duct tape with a small red bow on top, making you fix them both with a confused look.
âItâs an inside joke,â Logan shrugs.
Wadeâs eyes sparkle, but in a rare turn of events, he doesnât elaborate, only adds, âItâs classified. I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.âÂ
âAnd I have top level clearance, lieutenant,â you reply. You exhale through your nose in an amused laugh when Wade makes a surprised face that indicates youâve gotten the reference. âWhat, you thought a Tom Cruise impression could save you?â
âNo,â he grins, and as if on cue, the doorbell rings, âbut that can. Birthday Boy duty calls, but I want it on record that I could do Top Gun, easily, while Tom would never be able to pull off Deadpool.â
â â â â â
The party settles into something comfortable, soft music in the background of lively chatter. Yukio has just finished telling you about a Professor Layton cosplay sheâs doing when you excuse yourself, both your glass and your social battery empty enough to look for a momentary out. Finding your way through the crowd, you make it to the kitchen, filling your glass with water and taking a few sips.Â
While you do, the music suddenly gets louder, taking over for the steady chatter. You turn around, leaning back against the kitchen counter, and watch as Wade drags Vanessa to the middle of the apartment. People make room for them, exchanging looks while Wade wraps his arm around her waist, takes her hand in his and begins dancing with her. With a laugh, she slaps him on the chest, before settling into his embrace anyway. Some follow their lead, but your eyes stay glued to them. Wade spins Vanessa under his arm, the smile on her face bright enough to light up the entire room. In return, he looks at her with so much adoration heâs almost glowing himself. It fills you with warmth to see the both of them so happy.
It hits you how you havenât thought about this in a while. Youâd decided long ago that the future wasnât something you had to worry about, but suddenly youâve arrived, like youâre in some alternate reality where your future is now, and that it would be nice to share it with someone. The sting behind your eyes catches you a little off guard; mixed feelings of time that has been taken from you, but also of time youâre getting back with the life you now have.
For a while now, youâve suspected the thing inside you is gone, that there isnât much to feed off of anymore. If it is, it would make sense that thereâs room for something else.
Wade and Vanessa make it look easy, even though you know itâs been far from easy for them. You suppose thatâs what itâs like, especially as you get older. Itâs less about big gestures, more about small ones; someone to make you laugh, to spin you under their arm, who knows how to apologize, seeks you out during your quiet momentsâ
âDo you dance?â
You startle, head turning towards the voice next to youâÂ
âLogan,â you breathe.Â
Itâs like youâre seeing him for the very first time. Heâs standing so close, almost touching you but not quite, heat radiating off of him nonetheless. The plaid shirt heâs wearing isnât even buttoned and still the fabric is pulled taunt over his shoulders and the thick of his biceps. Heâs grinning, his nose pulled up in an adorable scrunch, the corner of his eyes crinkling - you never noticed before, but thereâs a hint of green between the hazel.
It hits you so suddenly that you have to grab the counter to keep your balance. Everything thatâs been happening, that youâve been feeling, all the times something happened between the two of you that you couldnât put your finger on⊠it falls into place with a well-timed, completely unrelated question and a glance at him.
You like him.
All you can do is blink at him, dazed, unable to speak, even more so when he leans in a little closer, mistaking your silence for misunderstanding. âI mean, not that Iâ You and Wade were doing a bit earlier, itâs a reference toââ Logan straightens suddenly, his expression slipping into concern as he watches you, âAre you okay?â
You feel warm, so aware of all his attention on you that youâre afraid he might be able to see your pulse blink rapidly below the angle of your jaw. âYeah,â you reply, voice hoarse, looking away from him to blink the leftover wetness from earlier out of your eyes.Â
Anxiety claws its way into your chest, your mind coming to terms with what itâs puzzled together at such a sickening pace that thereâs an immediate knot in your stomach. The party has instantly lost its shine, and you look down at the glass in your hand, gulping down its contents. You need to be alone with your thoughts, you need to think about this beforeâ
âI gotta go,â you say in such a rush that it almost sounds like one word while you set your glass on the kitchen counter.
Loganâs eyes follow you as you push past him, grab your coat and reach for the doorknob. âWaitââ
âBye, Logan.â
THE TABLE
Once at home, you change into something more comfortable, your mind racing while you peel your party clothes off, toss your bra aside, change into an oversized shirt and plop down on the couch after.
Despite having already established that your mind was occupied with other things for a very long time, itâs laughable in hindsight that you never noticed your feelings before. Itâs not like you donât know what Loganâs like; heâs kind, funny, supportiveâŠ
âŠbroad, handsome.
Shit.
Why did you have to come to your senses? Things were better before that moment. Loganâs your friend, whom you met in the most unconventional way possible. Itâs ridiculous to want more than what you have when what you have is good. Or to think that he would want more.
But he might.
Because you may have been occupied with depression, anxiety, recovery, and everything in between, but you were there; you remember the time you spent with him, the way he looks at you, drinks the coffee you like, laughs at your jokes, seems to know exactly when to call you, seeks you out in a crowd.
But it would change everythâÂ
Actually, not a whole lot would change, if you really think about it. You already see him all the time, youâve seen the very worst of each other, overcome a great deal of hardship together, you make each other better, his friends are yourâŠÂ
friends.Â
You didnât say goodbye to Wade.
The thought comes suddenly. It was his birthday party and you didnât even say goodbye to him before you left. Youâre a terrible friend. Dread sinks into your limbs, and you reach for your phone to type out a quick, apologetic message. Just as you hit send, thereâs a series of loud knocks on the door, and it makes you freeze up where youâre seated.
âAre you in there?â a muffled voice calls out.
Itâs Logan, you realize, and a plethora of fake excuses as to why you left the party early present themselves to your mind as you quickly make your way over to the door.
The first thing you notice when you open it is that heâs dripping wet from the rain, clothes soaked through and his hair flat. Thereâs a deep furrow in his brow, and itâs different from how he usually looks; he looks actually mad.
âLogan, is everythingââ you begin, concerned, but he cuts you off by pushing past you and letting himself inside, boots stomping against the wooden floor.Â
âJesus, here you are. Whyâd you leave like that, huh? Saying goodbye, your eyes all wet. I went after you and you were fucking gone, it scared the shit out of me. Didnât see the car at the lookout, but I went to look for you anyway, and you werenât in the water, thank fuckââ
âWait, you wentââ you pause, the mental image of Logan running out into the rain to the cliffside making your eyes widen. âDid you think..?â
âYeah,â he sighs, shoulders slumping.
âShit.â Your heart is racing when you step closer to him. âNo, I wasnât⊠I donât want that anymore.â
âThen what the fuck was that all about?â
The desperation and misunderstanding in his eyes is unmistakable, and you hate that you made him feel like that. âI was just⊠I needed a moment, after seeing Wade and Vanessa like that,â you say, trying to provide yourself with more time to think, unsure if you already want to broach the subject of why you really left.
âYou⊠like Wade?â Logan asks, his frown deepening.
You canât help the laugh that escapes you at the unexpected question. âNo. I mean, I adore Wade, but not like that. Heâs with Vanessa.â
The answer does nothing to change his expression. âAnd you want it to be different?â
His line of questioning confuses you. âIâ No. Logan, this isnât about Wade or Vanessa, but itâs about⊠what they have. Something thatâs real, but imperfect, and thatâs what actually makes it perfect, and I just⊠I was in a really bad place for such a long time, I didnât give myself time to even think about⊠I havenât felt myself wanting for so long,â your gaze flicks up to his. âSeeing them just made me realize thereâs so much left that I still want.âÂ
Internally, you curse the way he always makes you say too much, because you can see the understanding wash over his features. His expression softens, the balled fists by his side loosen, and his eyes search you, as if to see if that thing you want is him. Thereâs no doubt he finds his answer; youâre ever the open book when it comes to him, and your pulse quickens while he silently observes you.Â
Logan reaches for you so quickly that you can barely prepare for it, a hand on your waist to pull you in, another on your cheek to tip your face up and guide your mouth to his. A shaky breath sails out through your nose when your lips meet, your eyes fluttering shut and your palms sliding up his damp but warm chest to curl in the soaked fabric of his shirt. Itâs eager, and the angle is off, but itâs quickly adjusted with a brief parting and a near in-sync tilt of your heads in the other direction.Â
Logan pulls away, but stays close, and you almost feel his words before hearing them, âBeen⊠thinking about doing that.â
âReally?â you say, breathless and amused. âWhen did you, um, start wanting to do that?â
âFew weeks agoâFuck, no, more than that. Almost did, that day after your first meeting, after you told me you were proud of me,â he admits. âBut I wanted to give you time, space. Wasnât sure if you feltââ
âI do. Didnât realize it before, but I fucking do,â you assure him, another tug on his collar trying to pull him back to you. His admissions, knowing he wants you too, only make you want him more, like you have to make up for all the time you wasted not doing this sooner.
Loganâs hand on your waist holds you off. âI just donât know how to⊠how to be this,â he confesses softly.
âThatâs okay,â you say, your nose brushing against his. âI donât either.â
He inches forward like he intends to kiss you again, but seems to reconsider, swallowing hard before saying, âWouldnât be the first time we figure it out together, huh?â
The words make you surge forward to close the gap between you, your brows creasing, attempting to convey everything you feel with one press of your lips to his. Loganâs hand slides from your cheek to the back of your head, pulling you to him in a way that seems to mirror your efforts. Something lights up inside you, something you lost long ago, and it makes you bold, opening your mouth under his to get a taste of him.Â
His grip on you tightens with a groan, spurring him into action and walking you backwards into the dark kitchen, the only illumination the slivers of moonlight that come through the kitchen window. You jolt when the back of your thighs hit the table, before youâre scrambling to get on top of it, two hands at your waist helping to hoist you up. Your thighs widen to make room for Loganâs while you push the green flannel shirt off his shoulders, struggling to peel it off his arms to the point you have to break away with a laugh to really get it right. It lands on the floor with a wet sound, before he reaches for the back of his shirt, curling his fingers around the collar and pulling it over his head.
Loganâs sturdy, warm to the touch and surprisingly pliant when you canât help but let your fingers flit along the corded muscles and protruding veins while he toes off his shoes. His hand flies to the back of your head to fist the hair at the nape of your neck when your lips explore, find his jaw, and travel down his neck. A soft sound sails from his mouth, a barely audible moan that carries over into something deeper when your lips brush a spot just above his clavicle. Using the grip he has on you, he drags you back up to his mouth, doing some more of his own exploring when his warm tongue strokes against your own.Â
âYouâre so good to me,â he murmurs with a buck of his hips against yours. The thrill of having him pushed up against you, half-hard, warm, full of promise, makes you moan, teeth clacking against his when you do. âAlways so fucking good to me.â
It makes you want to protest, from the very moment you met, heâs the one always being that to you, but it dies on your tongue when Loganâs flicks over the tips of his fingers. His impatient hand finds its way between you, disappearing under the waistband of your underwear and stretching the material to make room. His name comes out as a whimper when his spit-slick fingers easily glide through the soft skin between your legs. He curses, another buck of his hips pressing his hand closer against you, and your kiss turns messy and uncoordinated when he dips one finger to touch your clit.Â
âThis okay?â Logan asks when you gasp, drawing languid circles between your legs.
âYeah, itâs justâ Oh, god.â Two thick fingers find your entrance, swirling the wetness there around. âBeen a while,â you manage to finish your sentence.
âIâll make it good for you,â he promises. âYou want that?â
All you can do is nod, and Logan presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before he pulls his hand back. Itâs paired with a wet sound that makes your cheeks heat, more so when you watch him get on his knees and yank you to the edge of the table, the quick turn of events and the casual display of his strength making you a little dizzy. Loganâs nose presses into the fabric between your legs with a sharp inhale, before quick, practiced moves work your underwear down your legs. One eager hand places a thigh on his shoulder as another holds you at the bend of your knee. You lie back, arching as you hurriedly pull your t-shirt over your head, leaning up on your elbows just in time to watch him bend down.Â
The feeling of Loganâs hot breath sailing out over your sensitive skin alone is enough to make you gasp. He drags his lips and nose across your folds, easing you into it as much as his lack of patience will allow before tasting you with a swipe of his tongue. It isnât tentative or testing, but firm and sure, and clearly for his enjoyment as much as yours when he repeats his action and groans into you. The vibrations of it and the gentle scratch of his facial hair only add to the liquid feeling in the pit of your stomach. Letting go of your knee, he curls a strong arm around your thigh, spreading you open then pulling you flush against him while he sucks your clit into his mouth.
âOh, that feels really good,â you spur him on, your heel digging in between his shoulder blades. You watch him with hooded eyes, shifting your weight to one elbow so you can cup your breast with a whine.Â
Loganâs eyes slip shut in focus, working his tongue up and down your clit and making you arch into his mouth. Reaching for you blindly, he slides a hand over yours on your chest, fingers fitting between your own and squeezing while his tongue slides lower to lick over where youâre dripping for him. He lets out an appreciative hum as he repeats the move until your thighs clench and shake around his ears. His tongue dips inside you, curling up against the slick walls of your cunt, and his name tumbles from your mouth, soft, pleading, making his eyes shoot open to meet yours.
The sight of him looking up at you like that from between your thighs, with dark eyes, the tip of his nose glistening with your wetness, will probably haunt you for the rest of your life.Â
Logan shushes your begging, pulling away and watching as your pussy clenches at the sudden lack of attention. âLet me give you something to come on,â he murmurs, before fitting a finger at your entrance. It meets absolutely no resistance, a second finger sliding inside with just as much ease, and he sets a steady, deep rhythm before his mouth returns to your clit.
âOh, fuck, fuck, fuckââ Your head rolls back between your shoulder blades, mouth open on a silent gasp, but he draws your attention back to him with a curl of his fingers, finding a spot that makes you go rigid for a second. It all builds so fast, so suddenly. The hand on your chest shakes Loganâs off, finding the crown of his head and sliding your fingers into his hair. Heâs too strong to really make purchase, but you try anyway, using your grip to roll your hips against him. The sound of his groans, every flick of his tongue and every squelching, delicious curl of his fingers all send you closer and closer, until his hand presses down on your belly, andâŠ
âLogan,â you manage, voice sharp with a warning that comes too late when he makes you tumble over the edge.Â
Itâs so much after so long, the force of it making you fall back against the table, something between a gasp and a shout tearing from your throat. He holds you tighter, to keep you in place and guide the desperate roll of your hips against his face. Your orgasm quickly slips into something bordering on oversensitivity, and you let out a dry sob that makes you slap a hand over your mouth when Loganâs tongue travels a path from where his stilled fingers disappear inside you, up to your clit. He stays there, gentle, uncharacteristically patient as you slowly come to a twitching halt.Â
Heâs a blur when he comes back into your field of view after standing up, towering over you to watch as you come back down to earth. Becoming sharper with every heavy blink of your eyes, you notice the smile on his face is smug, that the hair surrounding it is a shade darker than the rest. You sigh softly when his fingers slip from you, the feeling of them sliding wetly over your clit making you tremble, but his touch doesnât leave you completely when he moves to stroke the outside of your thigh.
âHowâs that?â Logan dares to ask.
âHmm, no speaking yet,â you protest.
Reaching for him, you slide both of your arms up over his broad shoulders, wrists crossed in the nape of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. Itâs slow, and deep, the taste of yourself shared between the two of you as your tongue slides over his. The table protests with a creak when his hands land beside your head, more when his chest pushes down on yours and you wrap a leg around his waist to get him even closer. The hair scattered across his broad chest teases your nipples and the hard ridge of his cock strains against his jeans and presses up against your slick cunt. It makes your jaw go slack, stoking your desire and making you burn with the need to make him feel as good as he just made you feel.Â
With a push against his shoulders, you take him along as you sit upright again, accompanied by another creak of the table. Mouth still on his, you slide a hand down to cup him over his jeans, the weight of him against your wide open palm making you pulse. Logan grunts when your hand squeezes, and your mouth slides off his, kissing his jaw, sliding back down his neck. He cups your head, keeping you in place while watching your hand.
âFeels nice,â he husks, voice so deep it makes you want to push him aside and get on your knees for him, but then he asks, âAre you gonna let me fuck you?â
âGod, yeah,â you say with a nod, watching as the mark you just sucked into his neck disappears far too soon while you continue rubbing him over the denim. âWant you inside of me.â
âJesusâThen get it out,â he instructs, guiding your hand to his belt.Â
If you werenât so turned on you might wince at how eager you are, at how quickly you tug the buckle open and pull the leather free. Logan groans when it relieves some of the pressure, letting his forehead rest against yours. Together, you watch your hands make quick work of his zipper, your fist closing around his cock while your other hand works his pants down until he can kick it off and under the table.
He fits nicely in your palm, heavy and ready, sticky at the tip. With a purse of your lips, you let your spit trickle down in a straight line, and he hisses when it hits him. Your free hand flattens against his stomach, sliding down along the hard planes of his body and following the vein just below his belly button down, until it meets your other hand that loosely strokes up to the root of his cock. Logan arches into you when you stroke back up with a tighter grip, all but getting on his toes to chase your touch. Using both of your hands to get all of him, you twist your fists in opposite directions once, twice, before circling his tip with one thumb. Your other hand curls around the underside of him, dragging some of your spit down to his balls with the tips of your fingers.
âFâfuck,â Logan stutters when you play with him there, cupping him in your hand as well as you can and squeezing his shaft when it twitches in response. His eyes slip shut as his palms land on the outside of your thighs with a smack, fingertips digging into your soft skin.Â
It makes you jolt, then grin, giddy from the sharp sting and the power you have over his pleasure. âHowâs that?â you echo with a teasing lilt.
He does have the words to answer, albeit a little slurred, ââS good, sweetheart.â
The nickname tacked on at the end takes root in your chest, blooms bright and makes you ache. You translate your appreciation into tightening your strokes and spreading more of the precome that steadily leaks from his tip around.
âCâmere,â Logan says softly, taking over for you with one hand, giving himself a few strokes before pushing your thighs further apart and shuffling closer to line himself up with you.
Youâre so wet that the head of his cock is practically already slipping inside of you, but your hand clasps around his bicep when he really starts to breach you. After giving you a shallow little thrust, his hips draw back, before pushing a little further, gauging your reaction.
âJust like that,â you sigh, watching the careful slide of him in and out of you. âKeep going just like that.â
He gets you opened up like that, giving you a little more with each wind of his hips. Loganâs hand finds the back of your neck, his palm splaying out and keeping you close enough that youâre practically sharing air with each sigh and moan. Eventually, your knees have to draw up to his flanks in order for him to keep going and you wind a leg around his hip to close the final distance with a press of your heel into one of the firm cheeks of his ass. A long breath sails out from between your lips when you pulse around him, slowly adjusting to having all of him filling you up. You can tell he has to put considerable effort into letting you, wood groaning below you when he clutches onto the table.
âFuck, itâs a lot,â you say, and when he grins against your mouth you canât help but kiss him again â just a peck. The hand at the back of your neck squeezes in reassurance as he continues to let you lead, and itâs a small gesture, but it makes you feel warm all over. You melt into it his touch, your body relaxing as the pleasure of the stretch of him takes over. Â
âCan stay like this a little longer if you want,â he says, but the strain in his voice says something different.
âHmm, no, you can move.â Youâve barely said it, or his hips are drawing back, and it would have made you laugh if it didnât feel so fucking incredible. He almost slips from you completely, before sliding all the way back inside with a grunt. The table scrapes along the floor, and vaguely you register one of your chairs falling over in the process. When he repeats the action, the furniture squeaks again below you. âJust donât break my table.â
The sound he makes in response is non-commital, and when he fucks back into you and nudges against something wonderful, you canât say you disagree. Grabbing hold of his shoulder and using the leg you have wrapped around him, you roll your hips against his, and he begins to meet you halfway until you work up a rhythm together. The table protest further, a shrill sound filling the room after each slap of skinâ
With a frustrated groan and accompanied by a startled squeal from yourself, Logan lifts you. The surprised laugh that threatens to bubble up your throat quickly morphs into something heavier that comes out with a rasp when he makes it all look unusually effortless. Attempting to brace yourself, you sling one arm over his shoulders, the other winding around his neck so you can rake your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. Itâs a struggle to keep your balance, a helpless heel digging into the back of his thigh to keep yourself upright. Quick to aid, Logan slides an arm under you, fingers splayed across your ass as your knee hangs off the inside of his elbow. He turns a quarter, presses you up against the wall, and doesnât miss a beat as he continues fucking you.Â
âJesus, Logan,â you say, voice almost a growl and barely recognizable as your own.
With your new position, you can see him better, the both of you lit from the side with the window to your left. The moonlight paints him in a tapestry of light and shadows when the wind blows through the tree branches, momentarily amplifying the glint in his eyes and the flex of his chest and arms like a strobe light.
The different angle he finds with his cock is a little too good, the feeling of the thick base of him stretching you open with each thrust making you dazed and talkative, âItâs so deep like this, canâoh, my godâcan feel you everywhere.âÂ
Logan curses at your words, squeezing your waist and pushing you harder against the wall. Thereâs a deep-voiced appreciation of how good you feel in there too that doesnât quite make it from your ears to your brain because somehow heâs still speeding up. His head ducks down to your chest, mouthing at the soft skin of your breast before closing his lips around a nipple.Â
You whine, using the grip you have on him to roll your hips against the piston of his while you pant into his crown. Though the sound he makes against you when you do it makes you beam with pride, itâs not something you can keep up for very long, your hold on him slacking after a few thrust until you slip back against the wall.Â
Logan pulls back when you do, tightening his hold on you while his eyes glide from the bounce of your tits that glisten with his spit to down between your bodies.Â
âTouch yourself,â he instructs, grunting when you immediately do as he says by bringing a hand down between where youâre joined. Your fingers spread in a V-shape around where he fucks into you, collecting some of your mixed arousal before using it to rub your clit. âThatâs it, sweetheart, fuck, make yourself come.â
You nod, rapidly feeling everything zeroing in on the fingers that draw tight circles over your clit and that spot deep inside you that Loganâs finding with every thrust. âYeah, fuck, IâmâDonât stop, donât stop, pleaseââ
Heâs coming before you are, tucking his head below your chin to let out a deep, drawn out moan against your neck that ends with his teeth grazing your skin. Itâs so much, the pressure of him grinding himself into you with twitching, barely there thrusts, the heat of his release as it fills you where youâre gripping him like a vice, and as your fingers still twirl between your legs you come, and come, and come.Â
The leg you have wrapped around his hip slips off, but before your toes can even scrape the floor, he catches your thigh, cupping your ass with both hands now to keep you up, and close. With a soft, satisfied sound, you let your forehead fall against Loganâs shoulder, tasting the salt of his sweat with every light press of your lips there.
It takes you a moment to notice your back has come off the wall, that Logan is walking the both of you into your living room and to the couch. He bends his knees, dropping you between your pillows, where you land with as much grace as you can muster considering you feel like youâre made of lead. The soft couch is pleasant against your body, your sore limbs sinking into the cushions.Â
Logan fits himself between your legs again, widening them around his broad shoulders before his lips find your overstretched thighs, leaving marks and kisses up up up, until his tongue slips back into your pussy. Your back arches off the couch, hands shooting down to fist his hair with a whine while Loganâs hand fists his cock. As your eyes adjust to the darkness, you can tell heâs already getting hard again, and his tongue is making something swirl low in your belly thatâs making you pant, and...
Itâll be a long night.
THE PEARL
It had taken a lot of convincing and downright groveling, but Wade had allowed you to bring a movie for movie night. It wasnât that he didnât trust your taste in movies, his main gripe with your choice was that it wasnât a Christmas movie â mandatory for December. Wadeâs right, but after you explained that itâs the movie you always watch at the end of the year (and after Logan and yourself conceded that yes, his birthday was technically also your anniversary) heâd agreed.Â
Now that youâre actually watching it, you suspect heâs genuinely invested, because after a handful of comments about The Hulk, heâs been quiet for longer than youâve ever heard him be quiet.
In the scene on the screen, Mark Ruffaloâs character Dan and Keira Knightleyâs character Gretta are taking an evening walk around New York City, dancing, singing and sharing music with each other as they do. Eventually, they stop and sit next to each other on some steps, watching as the city continues to move without them.
â...the most banal scenes are suddenly invested with so much meaning, ya know? All these banalities, they're suddenly turned into these⊠these beautiful, effervescent pearls,â Dan says, wistfully looking on as New York bustles around him. âI gotta say, as I've gotten older these pearls are just⊠becoming increasingly more and more rare to me.â
The arm Logan has slung around your shoulder tightens, and the couch creaks softly as you lean further into his side, your cheek squishing against his warm chest.
âMore string than pearls?â Gretta inquires with a frown.
âYeah. You got to travel over a lot more string to get to the pearls.â Thereâs a pause as he turns to look at her, âThis moment is a pearl, Gretta.â
She gives him a hint of a smile. âIt sort of is, isn't it?â
âAll this has been a pearl,â he admits, sharing a look with her.
A finger curls under your chin, tipping your head up until your eyes meet Loganâs. He gives you the same look you just saw on the screen, his eyes soft as they take you in, the hint of green between the hazel illuminated by the light of the television. A thumb swipes over your bottom lip fondly, before he leans down to kiss you.
It takes a lot of string indeed.
Sometimes even interdimensional string.
â â â â â
(THE END)
If you made it all the way here, thanks for reading. Seriously. Please come say hi and/or share your thoughts via ask/messages/reblogs/whatever you feel comfortable with. I hope to share more writing soon - emphasis on hope, I'm not making promises, just an educated wish.
And lastly, if you're struggling with mental health problems, please don't wait for a handsome stranger to sweep you off your feet. I know from experience that it can be incredibly difficult to reach that hand out, but I also know from experience that things can get better. There are ways to get help and you deserve to get help đ«
#this was incredible#logan howlett x reader#jess reads#2024 fave fics#fic rec: logan howlett#fic rec: deadpool & wolverine#thinking of queue
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Chances
~5k words
From Me: It's been about 2 minutes since my last love at first sight story so I figured that was long enough for another one. Just a silly little thing.
Warnings: A tiny bit of smut. Also she's shorter than Harry (only relevant for 20 seconds, max). Other than that, should be fluff fluff fluff.
Summary: Airports are gross, overpriced, and extremely anxiety-inducing. She hates being there.
But it's also where she sits with a really cute guy who makes her feel like she's flying from the moment she looks at him and before takeoff even begins.
What was it about airports that were so romantic? Everyone knew how gross they were. A petri dish of diseases on every surface. Overpriced food and drinks. Not to mention the exorbitant price of books and magazines. Almost everyone passing through was stressed with worry about missing their flight, losing their bag, losing their kid, or personal items. She was one of them. Even with an hour and half cushion she was worried it would take off or something while she was going to get a coffee.
Which was perhaps why she didnât notice where she chose to sit at her gate. All that anxiety festering and building in her that only the relief of flopping into one of the seats near an outlet would release. She put her coffee in the little cup holder, tucked her bag beneath her feet and placed the overpriced book on her lap.
Someone called out for another person making her head tip up at the noise.
It was fate. Destiny. Whatever corny thing a romance writer would say it was. But there were only so many places her eyes could fall, and they happened to land on him.
What was it about making eye contact with a guy her age at the airport that made her feel like she was in a Hallmark movie? He gave her a polite smile. One that was downright pretty. Too pretty to be on a man's lips and one that made her heart skip a beat.
Hence why she was thinking about the romanticism of the airport in the first place.
She sincerely hoped she returned his kind smile because at the very least she didnât want to be rude. But it was all a matter of seconds; this little romance novel scene she was playing out. Her cheeks felt warm with a rush of blood to her skin before she dropped her gaze back to her book. She had to. If she didnât, she was going to do something crazy like profess how taken she was with him after meeting those stunning green eyes for half a second like the love at first sight she saw in movies.
But was that his gaze she felt heating up her skin? She refused to look up, but the words of her novel blurred together, and she could only think about how blue was one of her favorite colors growing up but green might have kicked that right out of the top spot in that moment.
*
Their flight was delayed which stressed her out beyond comprehension. It wasnât even that long but if she didnât have somewhere to be when she landed, she would have felt a lot better. She swore she was the last person to board the plane, and it only fueled her anxiety further.
But if it werenât for the delay, her being last, or the fact that she was going to miss the rehearsal dinner for her friendâs wedding, the anxiety of seeing the hot guy from the gate was sitting next to her empty seat was surely going to give her a heart attack at the ripe age of her late twenties.
She felt her cheeks burning in recognition as he smiled again at her. âHi.â
âHi.â
That pretty face that was going to haunt her dreams for a lifetime. âAre you 12A?â He asked. The window seat, fortunately. His voice was warm and gentle.
âYeah, sorry,â she bit her lip.
He chuckled standing in the aisle to get out of her way so she could get settled. âSânothing tâapologize for.â
âIâm sure you thought you were going to have the row to yourself,â she sighed and placed her oversized purse on her seat so she could stow her carryon above her head.
âAllow me,â he offered and hoisted the bag to the storage space as if she hadnât crammed a weekâs worth of clothes and shoes inside it for only a long weekend. âSâokay. Sânot a big plane. They said it was full.â
Stupid airports and their romantic goggles.
âThank you,â she said gratefully and slipped into their row.
She noted all of his items were ready: a book tucked into the seat back compartment, a bottle of water stowed there as well, and his phone and headphones that he pulled from his pocket and placed on the tray once he was seated again. She fiddled with her bag, pulling out the items she wanted tucked into the spaces she had easy access to as well. Most importantly, she grabbed the travel package of disinfectant wipes to clean off her little home away from home for the next few hours.
âOh, thatâs a smart idea,â he smirked admiring her tidiness.
âI think Covid taught me that airplanes are one of the most disgusting places on the planet.â
He chuckled. âI suppose sâfair,â he nodded in agreement. âDâyou have an extra one?â He asked. She nodded and held the little package out to her row-mate. He took two and repeated her routine to clean. The air vent, the tray table, the belt buckle and arm rest. He used the second to wipe down his headphones, phone, and book with a quick swipe. She held out a little sandwich bag she used for trash while on the plane. âYâmust fly a lot,â he smirked at her preparedness.
âUsed to,â she took a deep breath. âI still get kind of nervous.â
âHonestly, would think yâwere not human if yâdidnât get nervous.â
The announcements were being made and she focused on the flight attendants and their safety demonstration. Well, tried to. The man beside her was so handsome it was like he demanded to be stared at; it was hard not to comply to such a silent request. He looked effortlessly comfortable and so attractive it was unfair. But maybe it was those stupid airport goggles making her fall in love with someone relatively close to her age and perhaps he was only a little hot.
But as he reached for the air vent again, his sweatshirt sleeve slid down his wrist so that her eyes darted to his forearm and landed on the tattoo on the inside of his arm. It wasnât even something she would qualify as a sexy tattoo, but it was there. As it appeared in her vision, all her dignity, self-respect, and thought of him being only a little hot, flew right out the window.
Stupid men.
The plane jolted a little as it started its take-off, making her gasp and she gripped the armrest tight. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as it settled into its rhythm. The final announcement that the ascent was going to begin came through the speaker and the plane got quiet as it always did at that time. âHey, love?â
It was pathetic she recognized his voice already. Pathetic that she was going to respond to the little pet name. They had barely spoken. But the two little words were soft and sexy. In a gentle kind of way. She peeked out of one eye to glance at him. She swallowed thickly around the nerves. âUh... yeah?â
âI can hold your hand, if yâwant. Sâjust a tight grip yâgot on mâarm,â it was so gentle. He didnât even sound annoyed or pained. She gasped again, released his arm from her goddamn death grip, and covered her mouth. How fucking embarrassing. She didnât even notice.
âIâm so sorry,â she whispered.
âNo, sâfine,â he assured her, his smile was so kind. Like she was a wounded bird that he found after it flew into the window. âHere,â he offered pulling her hand from her mouth and laced their fingers together. âMânot a fan of takeoff either,â he explained giving her hand a gentle squeeze.
Did he feel how perfectly their hands fit together? Or did she imagine it? These airplane goggles were thick as hell. She was fucked when she got off the plane and never saw him again. They were silent during the remainder of the ascent and once the bell signaled that they could unbuckle, the pilot announced they were at cruising altitude, Harry gave her hand a squeeze again before releasing it.
âThank you,â the sincerity in his voice made her blush and she was glad it was dark on the plane and the flight would remain dark. Because if she had to see how pretty his face was for the whole flight, she wasnât going to make it. It was unfair that someone so handsome was seated next to her and she would never see him again. Someone who was thanking her for holding her hand. After she tried to rip his arm hair out.
Did his hand feel cold? Her hand felt cold. It was so ridiculous she just wanted to scream.
She had the worst luck.
*
Harry had the best luck. The pretty girl from the gate was in the same row as him. He got to hold her hand. The flight was only five or so hours long and the thought of it being delayed was miserable. But there she was looking so unbelievably beautiful.
Thereâs a REALLY pretty girl at my gate. He texted Mitch the second he saw her.
You better not be creepy. Sarah says thereâs NOTHING worse than a guy being creepy at the airport.
Iâm not going to make my soulmate uncomfortable. Iâm just going to ask her every question that pops into my head to get to know her, and then ask how many kids she wants to have with me.
...Best of luck to her.
Iâm probably not even going to talk to her :( She looks busy and what are the chances sheâll be sitting next to me? Thereâs no way I have that kind of luck.
But Harry did have that luck it seemed. The pretty girl was tucked into their row against the window, her head resting against the side of the plane. She was clean, organized, and adorable. He liked how she spoke to the flight attendant. Like she was a hinderance by being a passenger. It was sweet and he admired her kindness and thoughtfulness. She was so grateful when Harry handed her the little bag of pretzels and the drink she got.
âReading something good?â She asked quietly.
Harry smiled and held it out to her so she could read the back cover. âSomething mâsister recommended.â
She intently read the words on the back and nodded. âI think Iâm going to add it to my never-ending list.â
God, he wanted to say he could give it to her when he was finished. But he was never going to see her again. So maybe he didnât have the luck he hoped he did. âHow âbout you?â
âUm...â she smiled. âItâs nothing... intelligent. Itâs a brain-rotting romance thing. I donât know, I like to read trashy stuff on the plane. Take my mind off it and everything else.â
âI see,â he didnât ask Gemma a lot of questions, but he knew that meant it was filled with spicy romantic scenes that he could only dream about with someone as pretty as her. But that would be what Sarah called creepy, so he pushed that thought away quickly. âMânot a huge e-book person.â
âTheyâre good for travel,â she smiled. âI love bookstores, and I think I could build a whole house out of the books I have or want to buy. But traveling... itâs nice to have something compact. But I bought a book at the convenience store before we left. Which is so dumb because the mark up is like an extra ten dollars and I could have gotten it for free on this thing but the Wi-Fi is a bit of a problem sometimes, like I canât get my new book toââ She paused as Harry listened intently. It was so disarming listening to her talk about books and her e-reader. It was adorable. Her eyes, even in the faint glow from the emergency airplane lights, were lit with excitement. âIâm rambling, Iâm sorry.â
âNo!â He frowned, shaking his head hurriedly. He immediately missed the excitement in her eyes. âYâwerenât. I never thought âbout how the traveling is easier with it. I had tâforgo a whole outfit tâget mâbooks in mâbag.â
She smiled and sipped her drink. âI always do that. Except Iâm sure you felt how heavy my bag was, I didnât do it this time. I told myself I wasnât going to overpack and I just couldnât do it.â
âMâsister has a hard time with it too.â
âItâs impossible, I think. Especially for an event, you know?â
Was Harry still smiling? He couldnât stop smiling. She just had this air about her. The air between them was vibrating and it wasnât because of turbulence. She had to feel it, right? Harry couldnât be imagining this electric feeling that was pulsing between them. They were just sitting there, staring at each other.
âCan I say something crazy?â He asked.
âCrazy? Are you planning on murdering me?â
âNo,â he chuckled. âI jusâ...â he paused and scanned her face memorizing the moment wondering how on earth he could meet her again. Maybe heâd be lucky enough to have a plane ride back with her. But there couldnât be that much good luck. âThis is a bit...â he trailed off and he chuckled. His face was only inches from hers. She bit her lip.
âYeah... it is.â
âSâcrazy, right?â
She nodded. âIt is,â she whispered back.
âHi,â he said quietly, a smile growing on his face.
âHi,â she giggled.
*
When the plane began its descent, he held her hand again and gave it a gentle squeeze. It made her stomach flutter. As they left their little row, her heart hammered in her chest. How unfair it was that she would never see him again. He grabbed her bag from the compartment above and he walked with her all the way to baggage claim. They chatted a little more. Smiling and giggling. She didnât even realize he was still holding her hand.
At least the airport goggles were working both ways it seemed.
âYou let me go on and on about overpacking and you checked a bag?â He smirked, grabbed her hand again and led her toward the rideshare pickup spot. âCan I say something crazy?â
âAre yâplanning on murdering me?â He asked.
âYou felt it right?â
âFelt what?â The smile melted off her face and she dropped his hand like it burned her. âWhoa, hey,â he laughed and snagged it quick into his again. âSâbad joke,â he brought her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles softly. âCourse I felt it.â
She looked at her feet. The seconds felt like hours as she looked for something to say. âI donât know where to go from here,â she frowned looking back at him.
âYeah...â He sighed. âItâs...â he sighed. There was so much he wanted to say. So much she wanted to tell him. They needed more time, more space.
She wanted to live on that plane.
Harry wanted to stay at that airport.
She pushed up onto her toes and kissed him. It was crazy. Outlandish. Ridiculous. She cupped his cheek, her thumb brushing his skin. He smiled on her mouth making her want to melt. His hand found her lower back, pulled her closer because in just sneakers she couldnât reach his lips completely. With her firmly in his embrace, he nipped at her lower lip. It was so sinful she shivered.
The honking interrupted their moment, pulling each other apart. âI have to go,â she whispered looking at the Uber that matched the license plate listed on her phone.
âI know.â
âHi,â she whispered with a quiet laugh.
âHi.â
âIt was... really nice meeting you,â her smile was so goddamn pretty it was going to make Harry cry.
âIt was nice meeting you, love,â he answered. Safely tucked her into the back of the cab. She unrolled the window.
âI donât even know your name.â
âHarry,â he said.
âHarry,â she repeated. âNice meeting you, Harry.â
*
âYou have outdone yourself,â she smiled as she turned. The woman before her had a stunning smile, her hair half pinned, her white silk pajamas shimmering in the light. âTheyâre stunning.â
âYouâre one to talk, Iâd give you a hug but I donât want to mess anything up,â she wrinkled her nose. âYou love them?â She asked.
âI love them. They might upstage me.â
âI sincerely doubt it. You look stunning already.â
âDo you hate me for not making you a bridesmaid?â
âGod, no,â she shook her head. âIâm more of a behind the scenes kind of person anyway. If you need anything today, Iâm your girl,â she promised. âI was too far away,â she shrugged.
âDonât remind me,â she frowned. âThese flowers are the things of dreams. You are the best,â she sighed dreamily. âCan I see my bouquet?â Her frown quickly turned into a smile again. âIâve been dreaming about it.â
She went to the bucket that was at the edge of what would be the ceremony floor and pulled the bouquet from it. She felt so proud and happy with the arrangement she made for one of her long-time best friends. âSeph,â she smiled. âYou look beautiful,â she reminded her.
Persephone grinned admiring the bouquet. âYouâre incredible... How was your flight? Other than delayed?â
âIt was...â she tried to think about anything but the color green. âGood.â
âOh?â Sephâs perfectly plucked eyebrow arched suspiciously âHow good? Did you join the mile high club?â
âOh my God, Persephone, of course not.â
âWell, you donât say good like that if heâs not cute.â
A slight pause as she looked at the ceiling and then back at her friend. âHe was really cute.â
âYouâre a walking Hallmark movie.â
âThatâs literally how I felt.â They giggled then she sighed thinking about the kiss she shared with a stranger. It was so unlike her to get all in a twist about a guy she just met. This wasnât normal. It was like she was still in the airport. There were so many things they didnât talk about. So many things she didnât know about him and never would. It was unfair and yet she couldnât stop herself from feeling like she was still flying. Shaking her head, she turned to her friend once more. âAlright, I have to finish these flower arrangements. Not sure if you know this, but thereâs a wedding happening here tonight.â
âSorry about your airplane man, babe,â Seph squeezed her shoulder.
âHey, no frowns. Itâs your wedding day,â she turned back to the table she was working on before her friendâs interruption. âI think some moments are meant to just... exist in that moment.â
*
Harry had thought about only three things that day. Breathing, cake, and of course the beautiful girl he met on the plane.
You KISSED her?! Sarah asked.
I know... Iâve never met anyone like her.
Thatâs a real bummer, Harry, honestly. It was and Sarah was right. At first, he was joking, but now he was certain she was his soulmate, and he just let her go. But what choice did he have? Yes, there was the feeling of his heart beating faster. The excitement of making her laugh. But there was the calmness, the tranquility of being beside her. Holding her hand.
Maybe it was morbid, but Harry was certain he was looking for someone to hold his hand if the plane were to go down and maybe thatâs what a soulmate really was.
It was easy. Easy to talk to her, make her laugh. It was easy to get to know her and he didnât even know anything about her. He didnât know where she was from, what she did, where she was going, but he just knew that she was his and he let her go. There were too many variables. Too many things he couldnât control.
âHarry, you almost done?â
âJusâ putting the finishing touches,â he mumbled.
âWeâre going to be late!â
âThey wonât start without us,â he rolled his eyes.
âIf there is a speck ofââ
âIâm clean, Iâm clean,â he shook his head, coming to the other room and brushing his hands along his coat. âLetâs get married, yeah?â
*
The maid of honor talked about how lucky the pair of them were to find one another. How there were an infinite number of opportunities for them to not have met but there was this special moment destined for each other. Where Persephone would walk into the library to sit in her favorite study spot and if she wasnât so superstitious she would have just found another table.
But instead, she walked right up to the table, told her future husband he was in her spot, and she was preparing for an exam, and she wouldnât let him use her favorite seat.
The best man spoke about how he was actually destined to be with the groom for forever and ever which made the entire place laugh.
But talk of luck and destiny just made her feel miserable on the inside. If she asked for his number or where he lived, it would be hours from where she lived. She would be devastated. A kiss was a good ending to her little story. That would suffice.
Maybe he already had a girlfriend. That would work too. Something to make her feel like a horrible person and lessen the blow that her soulmate was somewhere out there never to be seen again. Harry was just a guy that held her hand on a plane and talked about books with her for hours so she wouldnât be scared. Someone that split his snacks with her even though she didnât know him.
No. She couldnât think about him. She had to stop thinking about him. It wasnât good for her brain or her heart.
It was a beautiful ceremony. Thatâs what she needed to focus on. Persephone was a gorgeous bride and the event was just... perfect. âI think Iâve given your name and number to just about every single woman here,â Seph said sliding into a seat beside her and kissed her cheek.
She laughed. âWell thank you,â she smiled. âLet me see,â she held her hand out for the one with her new jewelry and she admired the pretty diamond that glimmered alongside the new band of diamonds below it. âEverything is beautiful.â
âThis place is beautiful because of you. Just like you said.â
âOh... it was beautiful before. I just added to it.â
âI didnât see it though. Itâs a bargain if you can envision it like this. I seriously wouldnât have picked it without you saying youâd do the flowers,â Seph explained. âYou saw so much more than I did.â
She shrugged. âI donât think thereâs a place on earth that doesnât benefit from flowers.â
âWell, thank you,â she squeezed her hand. âI wouldnât be having a wonderful day without you. I know it was a lot to travel out here andââ
âNo, no. Donât even. I wouldnât have missed this for the world. Flowers or no flowers.â
Persephone grinned. âWell... in other news... do you see anyone as cute as your airplane man? Lerone has a lot of single friends.â
She smirked and shook her head. âNo offense, Seph, but there is no one thatâs going to be as cute as my airplane guy.â
âNo one?â
Her head snapped up to the voice that she had already planned on dreaming about for the rest of her life. Her eyes met the same green gaze she had the pleasure of looking at for five hours while chatting about books and whispering about nothing of importance (but it all seemed important at the time). There was no way. She didnât have this kind of luck. If there was a squeaky carriage at the grocery store she was sure to pick it. There was no way thatâ
âHi Harry!â Persephone smiled. âDo you two know each other?â
âSomething like that,â Harry stuffed his hands in his pockets. âHi,â Harry grinned at her.
She cleared her throat, adrenaline flowing through her body. âHi,â she whispered breathlessly.
âHarry baked our cake. He went to school with Lerone.â
âOh,â she swallowed.
âAnd I heard yâdid all the work with these pretty flowers,â Harry smiled.
âSheâs like the flower queen,â Persephone giggled.
âI see.â
There was a pause while they stared at each other. Harry grinning like a madman, he was sure. But she was stunning. A floral dress draped her body, her hair half pinned up. She was so pretty. Somehow even prettier than the way she looked on the airplane and Harry was certain she could never be prettier than the moment she sat next to him.
âHi,â she laughed.
âHi,â he chuckled.
âOf all the gin joints.â
Harry took a seat beside her. Persephone had moved onto the next table and yet, she hadnât even noticed. âI havenât stopped thinking âbout you, love,â he grabbed her hand. âBeen thinking âbout the plane, yâe-reader, and that earth-shattering kiss.â
Her cheeks heated up and Harry reached out to brush his thumb on her cheek. âThis is insane,â she whispered.
âI know,â he agreed.
âI donât have luck like this,â she explained. âIâm the kind of person that has their luggage get lost. Or my coat will snag on the doorknob. If I didnât want to be paired with someone in a group project in high school, I could guarantee I was going to be in their group.â
âYâthink itâs lucky youâre meeting me?â He practically wiggled his eyebrows. Trying to sound egotistical but all it did was make her fall harder for him.
Her heart skipped a beat. âWell...yeah,â she swallowed. âI mean... what else am I supposed to call it?â
âIt doesnât have tâbe luck. Can jusâ be meeting you.â
âI donât think it works that way for me.â
âCan I dance with you?â He asked.
âIâm not very good and I think thereâs a good chance Iâll step on your toes andââ
Harry was already helping her stand and tugging her to the dance floor. She did step on his toes, not hard, but her quiet âsorryâ was lost on Harry. It felt perfect to hold her in his arms. One hand in his, her other at the back of his neck, his free hand on the small of her back. They fit like puzzle pieces. âA florist, hmm?â He hummed right by her ear.
âA baker?â She replied.
He chuckled. âWhat are the chances?â
*
âDâyou have any idea how good yâlook?â He groaned. She was in just a T-shirt. Harryâs T-shirt. He propped his head in his hand as he looked at her laying in his bed. His finger skimming just below the hem of the shirt. It barely touched her thighs and the only thing that stood in his way was a scrap of fabric she called underwear.
She giggled. âBack at you.â
âThis is insane,â he smiled and pressed his lips to hers.
âIt is,â she whispered.
If all her bad luck had been to make this weekend happen, she was forever grateful. This was worth it. Harry was worth it. âWhenâs your flight?â
âQuarter of five. Whenâs yours?â
âThe same, of course.â
She smiled and tucked her face into his chest. âHow far away are you from my shop?â
âOnly âbout a half hour drive,â he told her. âWhy?â
âJust... wondering.â
âJusâ want tâknow how much time and distance is between you and a toe-curling orgasm?â
âDonât be crass.â
âI wasnât talking âbout you,â he peppered a line of kisses down the side of her face and along her neck, down the curve of her shoulder, even when the T-shirt got in the way. âYou are so pretty,â he mumbled pulling at his shirt to touch her soft skin and curves. âI donât think Iâve ever met someone so pretty.â
âIâm sure thatâs not true.â
âNo, Iâd remember you,â he smiled pressing his lips to her collarbone. He pulled the shirt off her and he brushed his thumbs across her nipples softly. Making them perk up more than they already were with the cold air from the room and no barrier between her. âDefinitely remember this,â he mumbled into her skin.
âI have to pack,â she whispered but her voice was air and her resolve wasnât there.
âPut it in mâchecked bag,â his lips were occupied by one of her nipples making it extremely difficult for her to concentrate. âJusâ shove everything in there. Then sâa promise Iâll see yâafter we land.â
Her heart fluttered. âYou want to see me again?â
He popped his head up from licking at her like she was candy. The air was even chillier against the sensitive skin without Harryâs warm mouth wrapped around her. âMâsorry, was I not clear?â
She smirked. âI donât know. Iâve been thinking about airport goggles.â
âAirport goggles?â He repeated.
âI have really bad luck, Harry. I just worry that the idea of me in an airport because Iâm roughly your age... or like, you know airplane food is a real thing? Not just a joke? Something about the altitude messing with your tastebuds or something. So maybe this is all an illusion, is what Iâm saying. Maybe I am really unlucky because when we get back to our real life we wonât have airport goggles andââ
âKitten,â he chuckled and rubbed his thumb across her lip. âShh,â he whispered and pressed a soft kiss on her mouth.
âIâm just sayingââ
âI know,â he rolled his eyes. âI hear you. But mâtelling you, thereâs no such thing as airport goggles. Even if there are, mânever taking them off.â
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Nope, more just hoping for any chaos in general to be helpful. Like, this wasn't a deep analysis or a concrete "I think this will ruin the military", in fact I didn't even mention it bc I didn't think it would be affected. However, I do think it'll help right wingers lose confidence.
As for revolution, it really depends on what theory (as in what specific type of revolution) is being referred to. I personally think a greater land back movement and stronger push for fighting for civil rights is on the horizon since a lot of people are, as you're saying, banding together. Meanwhile, I personally wouldn't agree with a Trotskyist revolution because I think that IS outdated and tbh never a good idea to begin with for a number of reasons (I have my own criticisms of the base theory but I won't get into that here lol).
I think it's important as well to note that I do very much agree with you, *but* it's also important to recognise you have to have enough love to fight for what's right and protect people you care about. I know that's obvious to say and probably something you already meant here, but I think it's applicable to resistance against systematic oppression in the sense of uprisings as well. Like I literally don't think the system used right now in the US is a sustainable one and tbh I personally see it as very totalitarian so I wouldn't put my energy waiting for it to be fixed from the inside.
Uh, basically, what I'm saying is actually more simplistic and not implying much beyond what I stated at face value; I think the failures to meet the expectations of right wingers (especially far right groups who have used Trump as a reason to become more active) will make them lose morale and slow down their ability to be as reactive in the long term, and potentially (though this is more just a hope than realistically what I think will happen) said failures making it difficult for governing bodies to remain as organised as, say, during a Biden administration because they'd be so focused on the mess Trump is causing due to his incompetence. Again, that's just a wistful hope, not so much a "I think this will definitely happen". I'm more focused on how continual failures will make him appear less of a figure for right wingers to follow and potentially lead to some advantages for activists to push the opposite.
But either way, yeah no, I agree that we should be all banding together. Been saying exactly that the whole time too.
He really talked Trump into naming it DOGE huh
#idk if I worded this effectively but basically yeah I just think generally incompetence will make him look bad in the eyes of his supporters#which could be useful for a number of reasons#but my the main most effective reason is how it could strengthen activist groups and our own ability to cause change#because of that weakening of their own connections and morale#so like#yeah#again it's hard to articulate and I kinda feel like stuff gets misunderstood easily on here so I wanna do my best to word it better#but hopefully this gets the idea across?
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potion of persuasion// J.P x Reader
a/n: should i do a love potion series ???
request: Hellooo I'm usually too shy to request anything but after seeing your post and reading some of your fics I just thought; 'eeeeh why not' so here I am! (might be a lil' crackfic-y hope thats okay :3)
I'd like to request a james potter x reader fic where remus and sirius have gotten tired seeing the two awkwardly tip toe around each other so they planned to put a sort of love/confidence boost (?) potion into his drink so he'd finally be done with it! But uh oh, pads accidently bought one with really strong effects that have our prongsie standing up on tables in his socks and underwear as he professes his love to the reader. Chaos ensues basically..
hope this wasn't too long, also don't forget to take breaks and drink lots of water! àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽż(á”áá”)
word count: 5.2k
The Gryffindor Common Room was alive with its usual evening chatter, the glow from the fireplace casting a warm, golden light over the red-and-gold tapestries. The laughter of your friends filled the cozy space as you sat cross-legged on one of the worn-out couches, listening to Marlene's latest exaggerated tale about a Quidditch practice gone wrong.Â
Across the room, James Potter sat hunched in a velvet armchair, his eyes darting from the book in his lap to you every few seconds. He had chosen a random Transfiguration text as a flimsy excuse to be near you, but it was clear he hadnât read a single word. Every time your laughter rang out, he stiffened, pretending to adjust his glasses while sneaking another glance in your direction.Â
You could feel his gaze like a warm breeze tickling the back of your neck. It sent a flutter through your stomach every time you dared to look back at himâonly to find him hastily redirecting his eyes to his book, cheeks turning the faintest shade of pink. The air between you both was charged, electric with unsaid words and shy, stolen glances.
Meanwhile, at a table nearby, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were deep in conversation, but their attention kept drifting toward you and James. Sirius leaned back in his chair, a cocky grin playing on his lips, arms crossed over his chest as he watched his best friend struggle.Â
Sirius tilted his head toward James, letting out a low, amused chuckle. Â
"Prongs is never going to get his act together, is he?" he drawled, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the table.Â
Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. His book lay open, but like James, he hadn't absorbed a single word. Â
"Honestly, I've been watching this dance for weeks," Remus replied, voice low enough to avoid being overheard. "Theyâre driving me mad. Heâs hopeless."
Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head in mock despair. Â
"Youâd think the great James Potter, star Seeker and Head Boy, would have the courage to ask her out by now," Sirius mused, eyes glinting with mischief.Â
James chose that moment to sneak another glance at you, only to lock eyes with you unexpectedly. Your breath hitched, and you quickly turned back to your friends, pretending to listen to Dorcas Meadowes' story. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest, and you prayed no one noticed the heat creeping up your neck.
Sirius barked out a laugh as he caught James turning back to his book, looking like he'd just been caught doing something he shouldn't. Â
"Pathetic," Sirius muttered under his breath. He glanced at Remus, eyebrows raised. "We may need to intervene, Moony. At this rate, they'll be married with three kids before he works up the nerve to say a word."
Remus chuckled softly but nodded in agreement, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Â
"As much as Iâd enjoy watching him suffer," Remus said with a teasing grin, "this is getting painful. For all our sakes, we might have to give them a nudge."
Sirius's grin widened as an idea began to form. He leaned in closer, voice lowered conspiratorially. Â
"Alright, Moony. But if weâre going to play matchmaker, we better do it in style."
The two of them exchanged a look that could only mean troubleâthe kind of look that usually preceded a night of pranks and mayhem. Remus shook his head with a fond smile, but there was a glint in his eye that suggested he was fully on board.
Unaware of the scheming happening just a few feet away, you peeked at James again, catching him glancing at you for what felt like the hundredth time. This time, he didnât look away, his hazel eyes softening with something unspoken. The moment hung suspended in the air like a delicate charmâfragile, fleeting, and full of possibility.
But just as you opened your mouth to say something, Siriusâs voice rang out across the common room. Â
"Oi, Prongs!" he called with a wicked grin. "You do realize books arenât edible, right? Youâve been staring at that one like itâs a steak dinner."
Jamesâs head snapped up, his face turning beet red. Your friends turned to look, giggling, and you hid your smile behind your hand, eyes twinkling with amusement.Â
James shot Sirius a glare, but there was a hint of a grateful smile lurking at the corner of his lips. Maybe, just maybe, this would be the push he needed.
The Gryffindor Common Room gradually quieted down as the evening wore on, with students either heading to bed or settling into more relaxed conversations. The fire crackled gently, casting dancing shadows on the walls. James had finally managed to bury his nose back in his book, though his eyes kept flickering up to you every few moments. You had shifted to a quieter spot by the window, pretending to read a novel but stealing glances at James just as often.
Meanwhile, Sirius and Remus had retreated to a secluded corner of the common room, where the firelight flickered just dimly enough to keep them hidden from prying eyes. Sirius was rummaging through his school bag, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he pulled out a small vial filled with shimmering, pinkish liquid.
"Padfoot, whatâs that?" Remus asked, arching a suspicious eyebrow.
Sirius held the vial up triumphantly, the liquid inside catching the light and swirling like liquid starlight. Â
"My dear Moony, this," he declared in a hushed tone, "is the solution to our lovesick friendâs dilemma."
Remusâs eyes narrowed. Â
"Please tell me you havenât gone and brewed some ridiculous potion."
Sirius shook his head, looking positively offended. Â
"I didn't brew itâpicked it up from Zonkoâs," he corrected with a smug grin. "Itâs called the âLove and Confidence Elixir.â Just a tiny sip, and our dear Prongs will have all the courage he needs to finally confess his undying love."
Remusâs expression was skeptical, as always. Â
"Love and confidence, you say?" he asked, crossing his arms. "Sirius, you canât just spike Jamesâs drink. What if itâs not as harmless as you think?"
But Sirius was undeterred, rolling his eyes dramatically. Â
"Oh, come on, Moony. Itâs just a bit of fun. The blokeâs been mooning over her for months, and all itâll do is give him a little... push." He gave Remus a cheeky grin, wiggling his eyebrows. "No harm done. Besides, you saw him tonightâheâs hopeless."
Remus hesitated, glancing over at James, who was currently pretending to listen to something Peter was saying but was clearly distracted by the sight of you by the window. Remus sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. Â
"Fine," he relented, albeit reluctantly. "But if this backfires, Padfoot, itâs on your head. And youâll be the one explaining it to McGonagall."
Sirius beamed triumphantly, already pulling a flask of Butterbeer from his bag. Â
"Relax, Moony. Whatâs the worst that could happen? Itâs just a confidence boost, nothing more."
However, what Sirius didnât realizeâand Remus didnât catch eitherâwas that the vial heâd grabbed wasnât a simple âLove and Confidence Elixirâ but something far stronger. In his rush to purchase the potion, Sirius had accidentally picked up a mislabeled âPassion Potionâ, notorious for making the drinker act on their deepest feelings with absolutely no inhibitions.
The common room was quieter now, most students having either gone to bed or become absorbed in their own conversations. It was the perfect opportunity. With a sly glance at Remus, Sirius uncorked the vial and quickly poured a generous splash into Jamesâs Butterbeer, the pink potion swirling and dissolving seamlessly into the amber liquid.
"Keep watch, Moony," Sirius whispered. Remus, despite his reservations, did as instructed, glancing around to ensure no one was paying attention to them.Â
Satisfied with his handiwork, Sirius slid the Butterbeer back into place just as James turned back to their table. Â
"There you are, Prongs," Sirius said with a disarming smile. "You look parched, mate. Have a drink."
James, unaware of the potion-infused Butterbeer, shot Sirius a grateful smile before taking a long gulp. Â
"Thanks, Padfoot," he mumbled, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
Remus and Sirius exchanged a look, holding their breaths as they waited for the potion to take effect. At first, nothing seemed to happen. James continued chatting with Peter, appearing no different than before. Sirius was starting to wonder if the potion had even worked when, all of a sudden, Jamesâs gaze snapped back to you across the room.Â
The change was almost instantaneousâhis hazel eyes darkened, his usual hesitant demeanor melting away, replaced with an intensity neither Remus nor Sirius had ever seen before.
"Uh oh," Remus muttered under his breath, his stomach twisting with unease as James got up from his seat, his book abandoned. Sirius, however, was too busy stifling a triumphant laugh to notice Remusâs worried expression.
"Looks like itâs working perfectly," Sirius whispered, elbowing Remus. But as James began making a beeline toward you, his confident strides more determined than usual, Remus couldnât shake the feeling that something was seriously off.
The Gryffindor Common Room continued to hum softly with conversations and the occasional crackle from the fireplace, but for Sirius and Remus, everything was suspended in a tense bubble as they watched James from their corner.Â
Sirius leaned back, crossing his arms and frowning. Â
"Honestly, Moony, I think we got swindled," he muttered under his breath. "Shouldâve known Zonkoâs was selling rubbish. I told you it was a waste of time."
Remus, however, wasnât so sure. He was keeping a careful eye on James, who had just downed the last of his potion-laced Butterbeer. For a moment, James seemed completely normalâleaning back in his chair, laughing at something Peter said. But then, Remus noticed it: a sudden, almost imperceptible change. Jamesâs eyes snapped up, locking onto you from across the room with an intensity that was almost unnerving.
"Uh, Padfoot..." Remus began, nudging Sirius and nodding toward their friend.
Jamesâs usual shy, hesitant demeanor was gone in an instant. His hazel eyes widened, as if heâd just had the most brilliant revelation of his life. The corners of his lips twitched upward into a wild grin, and before anyone could make sense of it, he stood up abruptly, sending his chair clattering to the floor behind him.
Siriusâs eyes went wide with surprise. Â
"Merlinâs beard, itâs working!" he whispered, half in awe, half in panic.
But this was no subtle boost of confidence. James was on a missionâone driven by the potion that now coursed through his veins, amplifying his emotions to the point of reckless abandon. He began making his way toward you with a determined stride, bumping into a few scattered chairs and narrowly avoiding colliding with a group of younger students playing Exploding Snap.Â
Sirius and Remus exchanged a panicked look. This was definitely not the effect they were expecting.
"Prongs, waitâ", Remus started to call out, but it was too late. James was already halfway across the room, moving with a speed that had you blinking in confusion.
Youâd been absorbed in a conversation with Lily and Marlene, trying to distract yourself from the warmth that had spread through your cheeks after exchanging glances with James earlier. But the moment you heard the loud clatter, you looked up to see him striding straight toward youâeyes wide, grinning like a madman, and moving with a kind of confidence that was utterly foreign to the James Potter you knew.
"James?" you asked, your brow furrowing. Something about his expression seemed... off. You tried to read the intent behind his wild gaze, but before you could even register what was happening, he was standing directly in front of you, almost uncomfortably close.
The entire common room seemed to fall into a stunned silence, all eyes now glued to the two of you.
"There you are!" James practically shouted, his grin impossibly wide. His voice carried an uncharacteristic enthusiasm that had your friends exchanging confused looks behind you. Â
"Iâve been wanting to talk to you all night!"
You blinked, caught completely off guard. This was not the shy, stammering James you were used to. Your heart pounded in your chest, partly from the sheer bewilderment of it all and partly from the intensity of his gaze. Â
"Oh, uh, really?" you managed, your voice wavering. "What did you want to talk about?"
But instead of answering, James leaned in even closer, his breath warm against your ear. Â
"Iâve been thinking..." he began, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper that sent shivers down your spine. "Youâre absolutely brilliant, you know that? And I... well, I just couldnât hold it in any longer."
The sudden proximity and the fervor in his words left you momentarily speechless. James Potter, the boy who usually turned red at the mere thought of a compliment, was now standing inches away, looking at you like you were the only person in the world.
Behind him, Remus was frantically mouthing something to Sirius, who was trying (and failing) to suppress his laughter. Â
"Okay, maybe I gave him a bit too much," Sirius muttered, though he couldnât quite wipe the grin off his face.Â
"Sirius, this isnât funny," Remus hissed, watching as James practically vibrated with the need to say more. "We have to do something before he embarrasses himself... or worse."
But before they could intervene, James, still under the potionâs influence, reached out to gently cup your cheek, his eyes softening as they locked with yours. Â
"Iâve liked you for ages," he confessed, the words tumbling out of his mouth like he couldnât stop them even if he tried. "Youâre brilliant, and beautiful, and I canât for the life of me figure out why I havenât told you sooner."
Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. Part of you wanted to laugh, thinking this had to be some elaborate prank. But the look in his eyes was so earnest, so raw, that it made your breath catch.
Suddenly, the room erupted in gasps and stifled giggles as Sirius and Remus finally sprang into action, darting forward to grab James by the shoulders and pull him back before he could blurt out anything else.
"Alright, Prongs, I think thatâs enough honesty for one night," Sirius said, half-laughing as he tried to steer James away.
But James, still grinning like heâd just won the Quidditch Cup, waved them off with an exaggerated flourish. Â
"No, no, Iâm not done! I need to tell herâ"
"Yes, you are," Remus insisted, giving Sirius a panicked look. "Come on, mate, letâs get you some fresh air."
As the two of them practically dragged a protesting James out of the common room, you were left standing there, cheeks flushed, heart racing, and mind whirling with what had just transpired. Around you, your friends erupted into laughter and teasing whispers, but all you could do was stare after Jamesâs retreating form, wondering what on earth had just happenedâand if, maybe, there was a hint of truth behind his unexpected confession.
The chaos that ensued after Jamesâs sudden declaration hadnât even begun to settle when he suddenly broke free from Sirius and Remusâs grasp, stumbling back toward the center of the Gryffindor Common Room. A wild grin still plastered on his face, he leapt onto one of the tables, nearly knocking over a stack of textbooks.
"Prongs, noâ!" Sirius hissed, his voice urgent as he scrambled after him. But it was too late.
James threw his arms wide, eyes glinting with mischief, the potion clearly pushing him to act on every impulse without a shred of hesitation. He stood there like a performer taking center stage, chest heaving as if preparing for the grandest of confessions.
"Alright, fine, you lot want a show?!" he shouted to the room, which had now gone completely silent except for a few barely stifled giggles. His eyes found you once more, his gaze so intense it felt like he was staring straight into your soul.
Remus, who had momentarily been caught in the whirlwind of it all, finally snapped into action. Â
"Sirius, do something!" he urged, voice tight with panic as he flipped open the Potions textbook heâd snatched from the nearby table. His fingers flew over the pages, trying to find somethingâanythingâthat would reverse whatever chaos Sirius had unleashed.
But Sirius was having his own struggles. Â
"Alright, Prongs, letâs just... quiet you down a bit, yeah?" he muttered to himself, wand already in hand. He aimed it at James, intent on casting a silencing spell.Â
Unfortunately, the spell backfired spectacularly. Instead of quieting James, it seemed to amplify his voice, and before anyone could stop him, he launched into a passionate serenade:
"Oh, the way you smile, it lights up the night, Â
Brighter than a thousand stars so brightâ"
Jamesâs voice echoed through the common room, shockingly clear and shockingly loud. He had one hand over his heart and the other dramatically extended toward you, as if you were the only one in the room.Â
You couldnât help but bury your face in your hands, your cheeks burning with a mix of embarrassment andâadmittedlyâa bit of flattery. The whole room was roaring with laughter now, students doubled over, tears streaming down their faces. Even Lily Evans, who had been quietly reading by the fire, was shaking with laughter.
"Merlinâs beard, this is a disaster!" Remus muttered, frantically flipping through the Potions textbook. "Why did you have to give him the whole bloody vial, Sirius?"
"I didnât know it would turn him into a bloody Shakespeare!" Sirius retorted, wincing as James hit an impressively high note. "This is Zonkoâs fault, not mine!"
Meanwhile, James, entirely lost in the throes of the potion, began to loosen his tie with one hand while continuing his off-key serenade. Â
"For you, my love, Iâd dance through fire! Â
Your beauty, your witâIâll never tire!"
"Oh no, no, no, no," Sirius groaned as James began unbuttoning his shirt. "Prongs, stop it! Youâre going to scar these poor children for life!" He leapt forward, grabbing James by the waistband and trying to wrestle him back down to earth.
But James was surprisingly strong under the influence of the potion. He twisted out of Siriusâs grasp, managing to lose a couple more buttons in the process, revealing the faint outline of his Quidditch-toned abs. A few younger Gryffindors shrieked in shock, while others cheered him on, treating this like the best entertainment theyâd had all term.
Remusâs frustration grew more palpable by the second as he scanned the Potions book, muttering curses under his breath. His eyes finally landed on a section that seemed promising. Â
"Aha! The antidoteâitâs a mix of powdered moonstone and syrup of hellebore," he said, turning to Sirius with a desperate look. "But we need to get him to calm down first, or it wonât work."
"Calm him down?!" Sirius shouted, dodging Jamesâs flailing arm as he tried to pull the boyâs shirt back over his shoulders. "We canât even get him off the bloody table!"
James, now with half his shirt hanging off one shoulder, raised his arms for a grand finale. Â
"Oh, my darling, my heart is yours! Â
Now and forever, through any wars!"
You were torn between wanting to laugh and wishing you could simply vanish into thin air. But despite the mortification of being the target of Jamesâs wild serenade, a tiny, fluttering part of you couldnât help but feel... touched? The way he was looking at you, even if it was because of a potion, held a sincerity that made your heart stutter.
"Thatâs it," Remus said through gritted teeth, closing the book with a snap. "Weâre doing this the hard way." He pulled out his wand, ready to attempt a counter-spell to at least calm James down enough to administer the antidote.
But before Remus could cast anything, Sirius finally managed to grab James around the middle, yanking him off the table. The two of them crashed to the floor in a heap, tangled limbs and laughter echoing through the room.Â
"Remus, now!" Sirius yelled, struggling to keep James pinned. "Before he breaks into an encore!"
Amidst the chaos, all you could do was watch, your heart racing for reasons you couldnât quite untangle. Part of you wanted to run over and help themâanother part just wanted to keep watching James make a fool of himself, because somehow, in the midst of all this madness, he looked impossibly, endearingly charming.
The Gryffindor Common Room had turned into absolute pandemonium, with students shouting encouragements, laughing, and clapping along as James continued his wild serenade. Remus and Sirius were still struggling to contain him, and every failed attempt only seemed to fuel Jamesâs increasingly unhinged performance.
But then, just when it seemed like there was no end in sight, Remusâs eyes lit up as he finally found the counter-spell. Â
"This better work," he muttered under his breath, raising his wand with determination. He sent a quick incantation into the air, releasing a stream of calming blue sparks that cascaded like gentle raindrops over James.
The effect was almost instantaneous. James froze mid-verse, one arm still outstretched dramatically toward you, his voice dying in his throat as the potionâs influence melted away. For a heartbeat, the entire room seemed to hold its breath, waiting to see what would happen next.
Then, clarity returned to Jamesâs hazel eyes. He blinked several times, looking around the room as if waking from a dream, only to realize that he was standing on a table... wearing nothing but his underwear and an unbuttoned shirt.Â
The color drained from his face as the full weight of what heâd just done hit him. Â
"Bloody hell," he whispered, his voice cracking. He stumbled down from the table, desperately trying to pull his shirt closed, cheeks flaming so brightly they almost matched the Gryffindor colors.
"Iâuhâ", he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck as he stood awkwardly in front of you. The entire common room was still buzzing with laughter and whispers, but James only had eyes for you. "I... Iâm so sorry. I donât know whatâ"
Before he could finish his apology, you surprised everyone by bursting into laughter. You tried to cover your mouth with your hands, but the giggles kept spilling out, your eyes shining with genuine amusement.Â
"Oh, James," you managed between laughs, "I think that was the most... creative confession Iâve ever seen."
Jamesâs eyes widened in disbelief. Heâd expected you to be furious, embarrassed, or even disgusted, but instead, you were laughingâreally laughing. The tension that had wound tight in his chest began to loosen, and though his face was still beet red, he couldnât help the small, relieved smile that tugged at his lips.
"Y-Youâre not... angry?" he asked, still bewildered, glancing down at his disheveled state.Â
You shook your head, stepping closer and lowering your voice so only he could hear, the laughter in your eyes softening into something warmer. Â
"Honestly, Iâve never been serenaded before," you teased, "especially not by someone standing on a table in their underwear." You couldnât resist adding with a playful grin, "I think I might even be flattered."
James let out a breath he didnât realize heâd been holding, his shoulders finally relaxing. Â
"Well... thatâs good," he said with a crooked smile, his confidence slowly creeping back now that he knew you werenât mortified. "Because I think I just set a record for the worldâs most embarrassing declaration of feelings."
You laughed again, your cheeks tinged pink as you replied, Â
"Definitely unforgettable, Potter."
Behind you, Sirius and Remus exchanged relieved grins, both of them panting slightly from their efforts. Sirius punched Remus lightly on the shoulder. Â
"See, Moony? Told you it would all work out," he said with a wink.Â
Remus rolled his eyes but couldnât hide his smile. Â
"Yes, but next time, maybe we use our words instead of potions?"
As the laughter in the common room slowly died down and students began to drift away, content with the eveningâs unexpected entertainment, James took a tentative step closer to you. Â
"I, uh... I meant what I said, you know," he murmured, his voice low and earnest now that the chaos had settled. "Even if it came out in the most ridiculous way possible."
You felt your heart flutter at the sincerity in his eyes. The bravado, the showmanshipâall of that had faded, leaving just James standing there, looking at you with that earnest, slightly sheepish expression that had always made your heart skip a beat.
"I know," you said softly, smiling up at him. "And... for what itâs worth, Iâm glad you finally told me."
Jamesâs eyes lit up, a boyish grin spreading across his face. Â
"Well, maybe next time, Iâll do it without the theatrics," he teased, scratching the back of his head.
You couldnât help but laugh again, shaking your head. Â
"Oh, please, Potter. Like you could ever resist making a scene."
And with that, the tension between you two seemed to melt away entirely, replaced with a newfound ease. As the common room emptied out, Sirius threw an arm around Jamesâs shoulders, winking at you. Â
"Come on, Prongs. Letâs get you some proper clothes before you catch a cold."
As they walked away, James turned back to look at you one last time, his eyes filled with a soft, unspoken promise. And for the first time, you found yourself looking forward to what tomorrow might bringânow that the air was finally clear.
The common room had finally quieted down, the raucous laughter and excited whispers fading as students slowly trickled out, heading to their dormitories with wide grins and lingering glances back at James. The fire had burned lower, casting a warm, flickering glow that painted the room in soft, amber tones.
By now, most of the chaos had settled, but James Potter remained by the fireplace, staring into the dancing flames with a look that was uncharacteristically solemn. He was now fully dressed, though his shirt was still slightly askew, and his hairâif possibleâlooked even messier than usual.Â
You approached quietly, the sound of your footsteps muffled by the thick rug underfoot. As you drew closer, you could see the slight furrow in his brow, the way he absently chewed on his lower lip, clearly lost in thought. The bravado and wild confidence that the potion had given him had evaporated, leaving him looking... vulnerable.
"Hey, Potter," you said softly, stopping just a few feet away.
He jumped slightly at the sound of your voice, turning to face you with wide eyes. Â
"Oh, hey," he muttered, scratching the back of his neck and avoiding your gaze. "I... uh... didnât think youâd want to talk to me after that whole... spectacle."
You couldnât help but smile at how shy he suddenly seemed, so different from the overly confident boy who had just serenaded you in front of half of Gryffindor House. Taking a seat beside him on the couch, you nudged him playfully with your shoulder.
"You know," you began, your voice soft, "you didnât need a potion to win me over."
Jamesâs head snapped up, his eyes searching yours, hope flickering in them like the flames in the hearth. Â
"Wait... what?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.Â
You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat under his intense gaze. Â
"Yeah," you said with a small, shy smile. "Iâve... liked you for a while too. Youâve just never seemed to notice."
A mix of relief and disbelief washed over Jamesâs face. He let out a shaky laugh, running a hand through his perpetually messy hair. Â
"Merlin, Iâve been such an idiot, havenât I?" he muttered. "All this time, I thought you were out of my league."
You laughed softly, shaking your head. Â
"James, you didnât need to drink some ridiculous potion to tell me how you felt," you said, your voice turning a bit gentler. "I wouldâve said yes if youâd just asked me... without all the theatrics."
He let out a breath, his shoulders finally relaxing, and a genuine, heartfelt smile spread across his lipsâa stark contrast to the wild, potion-induced grin from earlier. Â
"In that case," he said, leaning in slightly, his voice low and sincere, "would you want to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend? No potions, no serenadesâjust us?"
Your heart fluttered at the warmth in his eyes, and you nodded, returning his smile. Â
"Iâd love that, James," you said softly.
Jamesâs smile grew even brighter, his hazel eyes shining with a happiness that was entirely unguarded. Without the potion, without the chaos, he was just Jamesâsweet, earnest, and charmingly awkward.Â
As the two of you shared a quiet, lingering moment, the sound of muffled laughter drifted over from the other side of the room. Turning your heads, you spotted Sirius and Remus lounging casually at a nearby table, watching the two of you with smug grins.
Sirius gave Remus an exaggerated clap on the back. Â
"See, Moony? What did I tell you? Our plan worked perfectly!" he declared, his voice low enough not to disturb your conversation but loud enough for you both to hear.
Remus shook his head, though he was smiling. Â
"You mean your accidental plan," he corrected, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. "Iâm pretty sure that wasnât the effect you were aiming for."
But Sirius just shrugged, flashing a triumphant grin. Â
"Details, details. The point is, it worked," he insisted. "Now Prongs has a date, and weâve provided the entertainment of the year. Iâd call that a success."
James groaned but couldnât quite hide his smile as he turned back to you. Â
"I suppose I owe them a thank you," he said, his tone begrudging but playful.Â
"Or a very, very stern lecture," you teased, giggling softly.
He laughed, his eyes twinkling as he reached for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. Â
"I think Iâll settle for just focusing on next weekend," he said, squeezing your hand gently. "No potions this time. Just you and me."
And as you sat there, the warmth of the fire enveloping you both, it felt like the start of something newâsomething that had been brewing for a long time, even if it had taken a wild potion-induced serenade to bring it to the surface.
In the background, Remus and Sirius watched with satisfied grins, Remus leaning back in his chair with a soft sigh. Â
"Alright, Padfoot, you were right... this time," Remus admitted.
"Of course I was!" Sirius crowed, throwing an arm around Remusâs shoulders. "Now, what do you say we get some Butterbeer to celebrate my brilliance?"
As they made their way toward the portrait hole, the two of you shared a look, both shaking your heads fondly at your friends' antics. But as Jamesâs hand tightened around yours, you realized you wouldnât change a single thing about how this night had unfolded.
It had been chaotic, ridiculous, and more than a little embarrassing, but it had also brought you closer than youâd ever thought possible. And that, you decided, was entirely worth it.
#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#marauders x reader#marauders fanfiction#marauders
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